The Fish

Wrong cartoon, I heard it was Splinter.

That's the thing though, he kept you up at our expense and that's enough for deification on Wearside. If Di Canio had fucked off soon after keeping you up, he'd be similarly canonised. I saw people on RTG insisting Allardyce wasn't a long ball merchant, that his Sunderland team played entertaining football. But objectively the bloke's made a career out of turning any squad into an anti-football brigade of lummoxes. He was found out at Newcastle, West Ham, and Everton.

You were too busy down Games Workshop with your army of Orcs and goblins.

My masturbatorium isn't at the end of the garden man.

The shoppers of Newcastle will just have to do without my cherubic tuchus, then.

Sheds aren't cheap and look like a right bitch to build. Anyone know where I can find cheap ones that are brilliant, sturdy and easy to put together?

Don't need to, I'm all about the wheeling and dealing. Plus they're spending wonga on the Dave Watson Academy, the THE FISH training ground and the extensions to St James' Park.

35 keeps you up in 12 out of the last 20.

or 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1 as Big Joe goes on a fucking rampage.

Ahhh, but I knew that you knew that I knew that was a joke, so really, the jokes on you.

3, 1, 0, 0, 0, 1

Tories are just UKIP-ers with a bit of shame.

Tories. They're all Tories.

No, but I'm lav-ing your return Shints

This laddy's not for turning.

Last 5 years, 35pts is enough to keep you up, or 0.92PpG Currently we're bimbling about 0.50PpG So, we need about 28pts from the next 24 games, or 1.16PpG. Bruce managed 1.17 on average from his two full seasons. Within those seasons we had long stretches without a win. 2 wins in 21 (22? I can't remember) and still ended up with 44 and 45pts. Plus we have a January window where we can hopefully address some of the weaknesses in our squad. And these needn't be Coutinho-type players. Just a better-than-Clark centre half, a better-than-Hayden centre mid and some honest to goodness fullbacks.

-ahem-

They may have had more shots on target than we did, but they had a man advantage for 80+ minutes and didn't really created many good opportunities. Now, for a team with a man advantage, you'd really want to be making more than 1 decent chance from open play. Majority of their possession was far from our goal. They weren't stretching the play enough, dragging our defence out of shape, forcing errors. Norwich are poor and will likely go down, not least because they haven't the ability to defeat a poor Newcastle side, even with an extra man on the pitch.

Read this a few times and have no fucking clue what it means. Are you Ok Gloom? Is this a cry for help? Are they treating you well?

Imagine you'll be finding a speak easy, drinking artisanal gin from a novelty mug made out of a Heinz bean can and a coat hanger.

Ah. Well, I breeze past most of his posts that aren't directed to me, or about FM22.

I'm convinced I'm walking into a trap here but, why cedar?

Tight squeeze, if you ask me.

Aye, a mate lives in Wimborne and speaks often and poorly of the locals. All farmers and sailors.

Thing is, it works. Every time one of these gobshites, shite out of their gob it gets the mob storming to twitter, torches and forks in hand. Talksport's entire business model is based on getting people to click a link, or call their premium number, so the sooner the mob cotton onto that fact, the better for everyone. Mind, other outlets benefit from it as well. For every talksport clip that pisses off the fans, there are pieces in the Athletic, the Chronicle, or wherever that people will click on to see some Journo/pundit speaking in favour of the place.