The Fish

You're 19 until you're 20, that's how it works.

True Geordie's route. Not my cup of tea, but you can't begrudge him his success.

Watched the first hour or so last night. Every time they were on screen I wanted to Crane-Kick Yoko Ono in the face, the buchiach.

Honestly, my first thought was that this kid is going to get an avalanche of shit online (and maybe in person) and that could really affect his mental health.

My mum genuinely has a 'letter' I wrote to her because she grounded me and forbid me from taking part in the school play/nativity/talent show. Can't remember the crime, but clearly I felt the punishment was over the top. I think I asked why she hated me and told her she was 'ruining my life'. Quiff and CT would be proud of the flounce.

My mam still has shit like that in a box. Whenever we visit she asks if I want it, I say no, so she puts it away again. Doesn't throw it out, just keeps it. Like in 5 months time I'm going to have a change of heart and desperately want that shit poem I wrote in year 5...

One thing Mrs Fish is insistent on. I can have the odd bit of NUFC stuff in the basement, but anything comic related is verboten. I mean, I'm not one for life size IronMan suits, but c'mon, I could get a little wall space for this, right?

Wrong cartoon, I heard it was Splinter.

That's the thing though, he kept you up at our expense and that's enough for deification on Wearside. If Di Canio had fucked off soon after keeping you up, he'd be similarly canonised. I saw people on RTG insisting Allardyce wasn't a long ball merchant, that his Sunderland team played entertaining football. But objectively the bloke's made a career out of turning any squad into an anti-football brigade of lummoxes. He was found out at Newcastle, West Ham, and Everton.

You were too busy down Games Workshop with your army of Orcs and goblins.

My masturbatorium isn't at the end of the garden man.

The shoppers of Newcastle will just have to do without my cherubic tuchus, then.

Sheds aren't cheap and look like a right bitch to build. Anyone know where I can find cheap ones that are brilliant, sturdy and easy to put together?

Don't need to, I'm all about the wheeling and dealing. Plus they're spending wonga on the Dave Watson Academy, the THE FISH training ground and the extensions to St James' Park.

35 keeps you up in 12 out of the last 20.

or 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1 as Big Joe goes on a fucking rampage.

Ahhh, but I knew that you knew that I knew that was a joke, so really, the jokes on you.

3, 1, 0, 0, 0, 1

Tories are just UKIP-ers with a bit of shame.

Tories. They're all Tories.

No, but I'm lav-ing your return Shints

This laddy's not for turning.

Last 5 years, 35pts is enough to keep you up, or 0.92PpG Currently we're bimbling about 0.50PpG So, we need about 28pts from the next 24 games, or 1.16PpG. Bruce managed 1.17 on average from his two full seasons. Within those seasons we had long stretches without a win. 2 wins in 21 (22? I can't remember) and still ended up with 44 and 45pts. Plus we have a January window where we can hopefully address some of the weaknesses in our squad. And these needn't be Coutinho-type players. Just a better-than-Clark centre half, a better-than-Hayden centre mid and some honest to goodness fullbacks.

-ahem-

They may have had more shots on target than we did, but they had a man advantage for 80+ minutes and didn't really created many good opportunities. Now, for a team with a man advantage, you'd really want to be making more than 1 decent chance from open play. Majority of their possession was far from our goal. They weren't stretching the play enough, dragging our defence out of shape, forcing errors. Norwich are poor and will likely go down, not least because they haven't the ability to defeat a poor Newcastle side, even with an extra man on the pitch.