The Fish

We've signed two PL quality players in the first 12 days of the window. We don't have a DoF/Tech Dir. Our first choice striker only pulled up recently and so any strategy would have to be changed to accommodate the recruitment of an immediate solution. You say you're happy with Wood and Trippier, but want more deals completed already? You don't think that's a little a) naïve, 2) spoiled? So far, in the Premier League, Arsenal - 0 Aston Villa - 0 Brentford - 0 Brighton - One 18yr old for £10m Burnley - 0 Chelsea -0 Crystal Palace - 0 Everton - 2 fullbacks for a combined fee of around £35m Leeds - 0 Leicester - 0 Liverpool - 0 Man City - 0 Man Utd - 0 Newcastle - 0 signed 2 first team players for a combined fee of around £35m. Norwich - 0 Southampton - 0 Tottenham - 0 Watford - 5 players for a combined fee of £15m West Ham - 0 Wolves - 0 So, in actuality we account for 37% of the transfer spend, so far. And we're not done yet.

Whut?

I'd love to splash the cash, but all the myriad factors means that this particular window was always going to be difficult. Patience, young grasshopper.

Aye, that's true enough. Stick him alongside someone who isn't Ciaran Clark and he'll be much better.

Same happens when we miss out on a player.

Thing is, Wood and Trrippier answer two immediate problems for our team. We lacked strength in depth up front and we lacked quality at fullback/quality in delivery. We've already solved two issues with 2/3rds of the window left to go. If we keep up this pace we could bring in another 4 players to resolve the issues at CB, CM and LB.

Well some of us would have been drooling, others would be moaning about how sopping wet their bedsheets are

They were folded politely in a box. I lifted them out, and put them down. Smash those like and subscribe buttons for more content like this.

I wonder if they're reliant on 1 or 2 players that we can sign for £500k and spitefully fuck their promotion push?

Can't remember if I mentioned it before. But when I was going through some stuff in boxes I found these. I want to display them, but don't want a wall of framed shirts (especially when they're not signed or owt).

Wood to score our winner, Tarkowski to bang in an OG to lose the game. Then wave goodbye to the fans, and alight into Staver's helicopter.

Well I think you have to consider the willingness of each party to do a deal. That increases as the window closes. Few teams, if any, are in a particular rush to sell in January. That number decreases when they're selling an important player, and decreases further when they're selling to a league rival. The Wood deal looks to have completed fairly quickly because of the release clause. I'm sure, if that didn't exist Burnley would either not sell, or would drag it out for as long as possible, and whack a few extra millions onto the price. Re: operating on multiple deals. Honestly? I'm not sure. If the contract needs to be looked over by an expert, how many of those have we got on staff? Plus, you have several personalities to deal with. The moneymen, the manager, the scouts, the player, their agent, their club's money men, manager, etc. That mess becomes exponentially messier when you have multiple deals on the go, surely? Especially when we don't have a technical director, this is the first window for our owners, there are 3 ownership parties, we're in the relegation zone and thus desperate.

I'd say that was a factor, but I wouldn't take away from the game that their 'keeper had. at least 1 world class save from a 'keeper who regularly takes the field in England's third tier. We definitely do need to sign a striker, but it's just as important, to sign defenders given that is clearly the biggest reason we've been losing/drawing games. No team has conceded more goals than we have (42GA), and no team has given up better chances (37.92 xGA). Signing someone like Wood makes a lot of sense, even if he only plays twice in his entire Newcastle career. But even with the rumoured release clause a transfer deal that wasn't vital a few weeks ago will take time to complete. What I mean is, the club were surely looking at strikers, but they wouldn't have anticipated Wilson was going to get injured at that time, so the minute the severity of his injury became clear I'm sure they shifted focus from long term, to signing an immediate solution. But even with that immediacy it's not like football manager, it takes time.

Who are our top 5 targets, like? I've heard everyone from Etikite, to Vlahovic. And I think we have to remember we had 9 shots on target against Cambridge and their 'keeper had the game of his life. Yes we need a striker, but panic buying someone means we could end up with Riviere, rather than Ronaldo.

We're losing the amount of games we have left in the season at the same pace as every one else. Watford have lost 7 games in a row.

I think signing Trippier for £12m sets a good example, an example that would be ruined if we overpaid massively on the next signing. Botman is very good, but if Lille are being dicks, just go and sign some other motherfucker. Fuck them, the faux-Belgian cunts.

I like it when we agree. I don't like it when we fight.

I think it will be, because there is. just need 4pts more than the other 3 down in the bottom 4.

He's not the anti-Fish. He's Fish 2.0

Some of you have frankly feral pooping practices, I'm sure.

Us calling you out for being an arsehole is us handling you. In the same way as flushing the toilet is the way to handle a foetid shit.

That position has been filled

I do think there's a bit of impatience from the fanbase. The takeover took everyone by surprise, we didn't have a bloke in charge of transfers in November/December, we still don't have a Technical Director. Every other club knows that we're rich, and desperate. They will be absolute arseholes in negotiations, ask for the moon on a stick, take ages and January is a nightmare window anyway. We've already bought the best rightback to pull on a black and white shirt for fucking years. Lille are under no pressure to sell in this window, regardless of the amount of money we throw at them. I wonder if there's a fear of setting a precedent, £35m-40m sounds about right, so if we were to panic and throw £50m at Lille, every other club would tack on a £10m envy tax for their players.

I poop correct, so no pipe-clagging.

Odd, isn't it? Everyone that has to endure you, ends up pissed off...