The Fish

Right, I'm going to say this one last time. Joelinton gave a fuck. Anecdotally, empirically, ecumenically, he gave/gives a fuck. So, now we've cleared that up, you can stop getting it wrong.

No Hugo Viana was a Mezzala

I'm an enigma

I'm not upset you've used Disney's Aladdin, I'm upset you've used that abominable iteration.

I think Paddocklad is trying to sweep up after all of us, but also get us moving in the right direction. Kind of like a Libero, or maybe a Segundo Volante?

I think what Jonas brought to those teams was vital. He carried the ball 20-30yds up the pitch winning freekicks, throw ins and corners. He was a relentless runner covering most of the left side, pressing their fullbacks and wingers and while he wasn't one for assists and goals, the work he did was invaluable. Benitez would have loved peak-Jonas and no mistake. I think had Jonas been playing in recent sides without HBA, Ba and the rest he'd be getting nowt but praise for grafting his bollock off.

Get more Jonas vibes from Almiron than anyone else in the squad. Almiron is decent at progressing the ball but is unlikely to score or provide an assist. Just like Jonas. He might win you a freekick, or something though.

Again, this is not true. For all the criticism you can lay at his stumbly feet, 'not giving a shit' isn't one of them.

I think that with a new back line and a back line more in-keeping with Howe's approach to football, we'll not make so many cock ups. With a number 6 who is calm on the ball and good in possession the back line will be under less pressure and the attack will be better supported. Norwich and Leeds haven't improved their squads at all in the window. Honestly, it looks like Norwich are content to have a Premier League holiday every year or so. Leeds probably gambling that once their injuries calm down they'll be ok. Watford have done what Watford always do and gambled on a few young, cheap, foreign lads, but bringing in Hodgson might be shrewd. That said, if Hodgson was brought into any other team in the league I'd expect him to lift their results, but Watford... I dunno, might be ignorance, but I see them as a mercenary group who may not take his organisation on board. Burnley have gambled on Weghorst, but swapping one big striker for another one, doesn't seem to solve the problems they've got across the pitch. Everton have a really unbalanced squad, and I don't think signing two number 10s is great business. Unless I've misunderstood Ven de Beek's role? They're still pretty ponderous in the middle, in my eyes. Norwich, Watford and Burnley for the drop.

Ant never managed this.

We shoot deserters.

'Bruno' it is then.

Ge mer einz? or.... Ge mer royce? Orrrrrrr Guimarães pronunciation: How to pronounce Guimarães in Portuguese (forvo.com) Geemeraysh? Personally think it's the latter

However, he hasn't been awful in each of those games where he didn't play as a striker, I'd say he's performed well in around 7 or 8 of them across the seasons. That leaves 7/89 or 7% of his performances have been away from CF AND poor. So, statistically NJS is talking bollocks, that's just maths.

I can make that in 4 letters GGPP

19/20 of the 38 games he played in the league 34 were at CF (89.5%) 20/21 of the 31 games he played in the league 23 were at CF (74%) 21/22 of the 20 games he's played in the league 6 have been at CF (30%)

You're not wrong. But, some people still see him as a failed striker, when in truth he's never been a striker. He was just forced into the wrong position, in a broken system, under an incompetent dinosaur. Now we've an actual manager, who has actual ideas of how to play, he looks 10 times the player he was. Credit to him for getting outside help because he sure as shit wasn't getting it at the club when the Steves ruled the roost.

Heart says we'll win by a couple of goals. Head says it'll be tighter than a Scottish duck's arsehole on a frozen pond.

You saying this phrase is objectively hilarious.

Mitro wouldn't be £25m. He might be £25m for some teams, but for us? £35m, easily. We wouldn't have signed Wood if Wilson was fit, or if we could have secured a better striker early into the window. End of the day we've signed an experienced Premier League striker, rather than gamble on players who've not 'done it' in the top flight of the English pyramid.

Boooooooo

I'm happy to admit that I had to google just to get the opening gambit.

Even after all?

I didn't even realise that. To be fair, quite a few Hollywood movies have been made about a gnarled old professional doing "One last job".