The Fish

Gobble on me plums Craig. He gets personal like that, I'm entitled to have a pop back.

flat living embryo? Did that make sense before it was forced through the bathtub of gin, wine, hooch and regret that is your 'mind'. I do have a podcast. Bringing up my wife's name is an odd choice, but I'll put it down to yet another night with one hand wrapped round a 'tinny' and the other desperately trying to coax a reaction from your atrophied cock.

Little Britain making a comback? Not sure, but in a decent restaurant you have one glass for red, and one for white each. The Waiter should have removed the white wine glasses if he and his definitely not paid for guest are on the red.

Learn what? A few words and a reeeeeally simple stat. Italian isn't a new language either, for what it's worth.

An Aussie in a culture war? That's a laugh.

Listen up wino, I can be accused of many things, being a Silent Bob is not one of them. I have a better understanding of the modern game than some pissed up Cricket Fan from the antipodes. Just because I have the wherewithall to use terms that have come to prominence after your last day of sobriety in 1996, doesn't mean you have any grounds to claim any kind of superiority. It just means my understanding of the game uses a broader vocabulary than yours. I act like a know it all, because I'm a know it all. With or without stats. Mind, here's a stat for you, your blood alcohol level is around 47%, 6 days out of 7, which gives you this drastically inflated sense of self confidence. Now, go dry out.

I'm not going to dumb myself down for someone who, in this age where the sum of all of humankinds' information sits in your pocket, chooses to remain ignorant. Oh, and you've used a number as shorthand for a position/role before. "He's a classic number 9" e.g.

1-1 Shelvey to get ours.

Yeah, there was a lot of talk of a firesale and that we were after Terry and Lampard etc.

They don't look like an organised side at all. They didn't improve their control of the ball, or defensive standard in the window and Lampard hasn't shown any evidence that he can get a team organised in midfield or at the back.

#ZZTramp #Business #Opportunity #HeronFoods

Just like Dyer, Lee, Ginola, Batty, Cabaye? They're all midfielders, right? And Shearer, Henry, Aguero, Vardy, van Nistelrooy are all strikers, right? A Range Rover, a Kia Ceed, a Citroen Berlingo and a Bugatti Veyron are all cars.

Chelsea mate is saying they're fucked, but that it's entirely hypocritical of a government that's quite happy to be in bed with the Russians when it benefits them. Question for the financials on here; Why would anyone pay money for the club to Abramovic/Charitable trust when they could wait for administrators (or whatever the equivalent is for this unprecedented situation is) to wade in and sell stuff off for pennies on the pound?

That's just a handy guide. In reality, I'd say Joelinton is best described as a Mezzala. (I know, I know) Before you mock, read this description of the role and tell me it doesn't sound like the job he's now doing? Wide CM in a 3 ✓ Mobile with license to get forward ✓ Plenty of defensive responsibility ✓

No.

For me statistics back up what my eyes see. e.g I got shit for saying that a lot of the good work Perez was doing wasn't being appreciated. Pressures and the like. I defended Joelinton's work ethic, when people said he was lazy. I can refute claims that Bruce 'improved our defence' or 'sorted out our attack'. When my opinion doesn't hold enough weight, I can rely on stats to add some.

Essembee says Joelinton is lazy. Stats prove otherwise. Edwards reckons Bruce did a good job at Newcastle. Stats prove otherwise. xG is just a more objective way of describing a team's attacking threat than the sometimes inaccurate Shots, or even Shots on Target. So that when some gobshite says Brighton were all over us, there's an irrefutable rebuttal. It removes subjectivity from an objective argument.

Ah, so Bruce did as well as Benitez did, did he? All that matters, isn't it. Points. Any amount of scrutiny is a waste of time. Performance and competence is for boring nerds, what you really get excited about is the teleprinter. BrrrBrrrr 2-2. Go watch your brumbrums and leave football to the big lads.

Not with you around alex

I'm not sure I can. It's hard to claim he was contributing effectively, when the team wasn't effective. Especially when he was out of position/role. But he wasn't lazy which was the accusation. In the 20/21 season he had the most pressures out of our midfield and attackers, and the most successful pressures. Without doing a large amount of work that's what I can tell you. Just because you've 'remembered' some convenient example of someone misunderstanding statistics, doesn't mean statistics are pointless, or boring. Goals scored vs goals conceded gives you the headline, but take Bruce's draw against Everton in 19/20. It was 2-2. What does that tell you about the game? About the performances? That was the same as our 2-2 draw with Southampton this season, right? is it shite. It's only interesting when it goes tragically wrong. I couldn't give less of a shit if someone is dead good at overtaking, or if someone can change some tyres really really fast. If I want to be impressed by driving ability, I'll watch an 18 wheeler reverse into a parking bay. Now that is good driving.

Don't you watch Motorsport?

Running around aimlessly doesn't mean he was lazy. Effective contribution isn't always linked to running around. Stats aren't the be all and end all, but it means that when someone like essemmbee spouts bollocks like 'Joelinton was lazy all game', we can prove, objectively, that he's talking shite, instead of the pointless "Yes he was", "No he wasn't" carousel of crap.