The Fish

should be trumpeted as the bringer of light, the harbinger of joy and the purveyor of potato chips

if the beer was strong enough to affect Superman, surely it would knocked a mere mortal out with but a whiff, and if this is the case I seriously doubt whether you would get a license to sell it, especially from a Hotel bar.

should be aware that no other human, or eart dwelling creature that I can think of has luminous poo

hpybdy stv

pooed in a hungarian mollusc foundation's charity box

fair point doo doo dudooo

I only really go to read my articles

cheers one an all, and mancy, the only reason it sounds gay is because it went through a fat gay manc muffler when you read it. you have that affect on things mate

I've been to matches at SJP and have had no trouble with an Australian accent. I've been amazed how welcome I have been made to feel even though I'm not English. All the Geordies I've met have all been great people. It must be because I'm not a cunt I guess. 33462[/snapback] can't be that mate

the really crazy thing is that we reckon he is the landlord that the "League of Gentlemen" boys had when they were at Leeds... I swear he shouted upstairs "Ello Daave" in the same voice... I nearly shat a Ostriche!

had some issues with the landlord, just wanna see if this letter sounds about right? I've removed his name and my address just to make sure there are no legal toes I'm stepping on. Dear ********, We, the tenants from *******, are writing to inform you of concerns we have with the state of the property, concerns that have been raised since the beginning of our tenancy (15th July 2005). We were unhappy with the condition of the property when we first came to move in. Firstly, you did not ask for our permission or notify us of your intent to convert the basement into a separate flat. That was not in the contract that we signed, and we do not feel that we should be paying the same rent for a 7 bedroomed house with no basement, as this is no longer the property which we signed the contract for. Due to the fact that we have one less floor (basement) and do not have the storage that was originally part of the house (and one of the major reasons we agreed tenancy), we think it's reasonable to renegotiate rent from October 2005. The shower on the middle floor has also not been replaced as was promised in the contract; we were assured that this would have been completed by the 15th July 2005. It was not and is still sub-standard. This is also true for the kitchen, even though is has been finished now, it was not finished by the date set in the contract (the 15th July 2005), making the house uninhabitable in accordance to guidelines set out by the Student Advice Centre. This is not acceptable and hence we think it’s justified that we don’t pay full summers rent, (if any for July /August), and as renovation continued until September 11th 2005 we think it is fair to pay a reduced rent for September, representing the inconvenience that those that had moved in suffered because of the ongoing major renovations above and below. We also have the right to be given 24 hours advance notice whether or not your workmen (and painters, plumbers, electricians etc.) would be coming and going through the house at will. We would however, like to thank you for agreeing to pay the bills for electricity, gas, and water until the 11th of September 2005, this was a welcome surprise and a clear sign that you are a reasonable man. We would hope these relatively insignificant concerns do not sour a potentially good relationship between the tenants and a landlord of good reputation, as this is not the aim of this letter. Thoughts?

only public racism I've seen was in Bournemouth at around 5pm ish, a local lad said "Paki bastard" at some random as he walked past him. never seen that in town, or Leeds or Glasgow or, or, or etc. does that mean Bournemouth is the hub of racism? probably not, does it mean that this man waqs a racist, yes, because it was fuelled by hatred and ignorance.

AF I've got to re-iterate Gemmils point you say you've found the people here to be less than friendly to you, perhaps this is a reflection to you.. for example, I've found this forum and all those that have posted on it to be generally pleasant, friendly, jovial and witty. Yet you've stated you opinion that the people on this board are exactly the opposite. You post views passionately as do many many others and even though they may be polar generally the forum handles itself well, occassionally tempers boil over, but there doesn't seem to be genuine dislike for anyone but you (and maybe Sima). this has nowt to do with your views, or where you're from, we've foreign posters, black posters, gay posters, women and even pikey students like me. Yet we all seem to get along, irrespective of the bigotry you accuse of us. my point is this, maybe people are just reacting to you, maybe you're the reason you've not enjoyed the area or the forum?

nice of you to ignore the entire post and just repeat a stock phrase, well done you racism isn't ok so which jokes are permissible? no racist, sexist, nationalistic, homophobic, agist, obscene jokes, fetish jokes.... when exactly are we allowed to make with the funnies? you're overly pc, you're desperate for attention and you rant against the North despite the south being the source of by far the most racist people that I've met! You're insanely obsessive about this issue when in fact you're missing the crucial point that many have made if you thought you were likely to be offended then still opened a thread, you forgo the right to bitch whine and moan. this is fact, this isn't up for discussion, you're a whiney idiot and you need to grow up. you remind me of my R.E. teacher who was sooooo desperate to seem politically correct she regaled us with stories about how fucking qaccepting she is of all cultures... and all my friends, be they black, white, yellow, red, purple, gay, straight or whatever thought she was an overly obsessive whiney fuck. give it up little man, you're wrong and your persistent bickering just furthers the opinion that you've little to offer this planet and are in fact a waste of valuable resources. IF YOU'RE LIKELY TO BE OFFENDED DON'T READ THE THREAD. how obvious did you need the warning? oh and p.s. did you find Blazing Saddles offensive?

AF, was the the internet version of asking Alex to "step outside?2 you're funny.... you're the funny one.

you gonna fillet it, or mount it over your fire.

he didn't get Penis but he did make me laugh out loud many many times. can it fit in the envelope.... owwwwwwie papercuts! can you put it on your head..... well I suppose one could be put on your head..... oh my

just a quicky AF I find your name offensive and anti-semitic I joke and act chauvanistic, but if you were to ask any of the women in my life they would assure you that I'm not. if your personal experiences can colour your view of other people on this forum without knowing them from Adam, you're a very very deluded little man. Racism, sexism, any form of bigotry is wrong when it is real and fuelled by hate. the jokes in that thread are neither hate fuelled or representative of any real feelings. you asked how would I feel if I saw a picture of a baby being raped in a thread "This will offend you"... I'd be disgusted and if the photograph was not a fabrication I'd notify the authorities of it's existence, because raping a baby is criminal, bad taste is not. if someone told me a joke about a baby being raped, I may laugh out of embarrassment, shock or whatever, but I certainly wouldn't spit my dummy out like a pre-pubescent girl who's just found her first boyfriend kissing jonny behind the bikeshed. you constantly use obscenities, this offends many many people, your name offends me, you attitude and censorship enrages me. you're a whiney little bastard and a real advert for post-natal abortion.

is khaylie minogue

whats wrong with big words then? biggest

How dare you call me a humourist...wait a moment, thats not an insult...you flattererist! 32765[/snapback] How dare you complain about my flattery Complainist!

would be wise to wear very VERY dark glasses if he was to walk past my sister, the flares around an eclipse can blind!

e's a lahndahner noticed it's only people who live there currently who think it's anything but a shithole of gargantuan proportions? My mother lived there 25 years and thought it was a fucking dive.... it's the only time she's used that phrase so it must be pretty grim. 32758[/snapback] Two words: Stephen Lawrence. 32761[/snapback] two pints on the doorstep?

are you doubting my choice of mirth? HUMORIST!