The Fish

To be honest, you could field a limp Ryvita and a bag of salad at the back, and you'd still be odds-on favourites to twat the three remaining teams. I like the down-playing of expectations from the ownership/management, and I think it's the best approach, BUT I'd love to peak into an alternative universe to see which superstars we threw oil-money at.

Honestly, it's as much about outgoings as it is players coming in. We've heard a budget of £60-80m, but my read is that that's very much 'as things stand'. If we canpull in a few commercial deal s(an area that billionaire businessman Ashley entirely neglected/poisoned) and if we can offload some fringe or unwanted players, that budget could very well increase significantly. I think we'll only see 3-4 first team players join replacing the likes of Shelvey and Lascelles, we'll add a few younger players to our decade-neglected youth system. However, if we've spent £40m on a few bodies and Darwin Nunez becomes available to us at a fair market value (£60m), I'm convinced we'll spend that. Just like in the January window if we could have signed Botman for £30m we would have done that on top of our other business.

It's in your hands really. We did our part and rolled over for you, next season, when we meet in the Semi's of the FA or League Cup, we expect the same back. The night of the match, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride! Pride only hurts, it never helps.

Subtlety

Both of the local wards have gone Lib Dem after being Tory held for ever in one case and 15yrs in the other. There is a sense of satisfaction as I drove the little lad to nursery this morning, seeing the garden signs for the Tory candidate still up and imagining how unhappy the people who live there will be.

Just as an alternative point, far too many people are getting astroturf and getting rid of plants in favour of 'outdoor living spaces' in the gardens and that is fucking pollenating insects, nesting birds etc. Letting your lawn grow out for a month is a good thing for the local ecology.

Getting strong vibes of 'The defence used by a Mackem on Jeremy Kyle"

I think I speak for most of us when I say we'd prefer Liverpool didn't win anything else this season. Guardiola is one of the best managers out there. These people wanting him gone because you only got the the semi-final of the Champions League... who are they expecting to come in and do better?

They'll batter us man. Without the CL, they've 'only' got the Premier League left. I'm convinced they'll go all guns blazing in every fixture, especially when their run in is us, Wolves, West Ham and Villa. Three teams with, realistically, fuck all to play for. Whereas Liverpool have the FA Cup, the Champions League and the PL on their plates. I think Spurs can stop Liverpool winning, but regardless of that result, I think Man City are going to win every fixture they've got left and with some style.

There's nothing quite like NN.

He's really struggling now that he's not Plan A. I don't disagree that with a better striker his assists would increase, but then if he's that good lay it on a fucking plate. e.g. Bruno's debut, ASM dances past a few players, Bruno is unmarked in the centre, but ASM has a pop himself. Arguments could be made that he's done the hardwork and deserves a shot, but honestly, it brings to mind Solano. Nobby was one of the most generous footballers I can remember. Always happy to slide a pass through for an easy chance, or lay the freekick off for Shearer to smash home. A bit of humility would do wonders for ASM.

I don't think that's wholly true, there'll be plenty of players there now who were their previously. I do think Rayvin is right about the mentality thing. The manner of the collapses isn't because Guardiola doesn't know how to see out games, he's done it plenty of times before. The manner of the collapse is because the players on the pitch see the finishing line and panic. Like when CT's on his way home and needs a piss, he's fine 5 minutes away, panics at the driveway, sweating as he puts the key to the lock, fumbles and gently sobs as the damp patch grows on his khaki capri pants. Again.

I like him. but he doesn't fit with the future I see us enjoying, so if Fulham offer us £40m for him, fine.

That podcast of his is shit, by the way.

I'd rather Leao or Paqueta and the fee will be similar.

Plus you can drink on a boat on the way there, which is nice.

He does improve us, but not by that much. Character was so important in the January window and while there's always a need for a shit house in a team, I don't think he's the right kind of shit house.

I don't want Richarlison.

It is with great joy that I read Roger's plea for his voters to put a tick in the box and not a cross because at school (where he was a dunce) ticks were for correct and crosses for incorrect. Thereby ensuring anyone who does vote for him with a tick has failed to fill out the form correctly and won't have their vote counted, right? That's outstanding anarchy and I'm here for it.

She's clearly read the "How to present awful takes in modern times" handbook "There are studies" "I have had contact" 'I'm in the majority the other fella isn't and people agree with me' 'Homosexuality is a choice' My favourite is "The Bible says", like it's gospel.

That's still 3 jars a meal, you absolute monster

No it isn't. Pro-life aren't actually pro-life, they're religious ideologues who're imposing their particular brand of misunderstanding of religious text on an entire people. If Pro-Life were actually pro-life their voting patterns would represent that, they'd vote for gun reform, they'd vote for green energy, they'd vote for socialised healthcare, they'd vote against the death penalty, they'd vote for a whole host of issues that would save lives. But they don't, they vote for guns in schools, fracking, freedom to be ripped off by insurance companies and plug 'em in and fire 'em up Cletus! Could women have the Placenta removed? It's their organ afterall. Wouldn't being forced to carry, and birth a child of rape be seen as punishment for a crime you didn't commit? Is being forced by the state to raise a child not forced labour?

This is the crossover comic event you've all been waiting for; Marvel penned Star Wars comic about an Ewok Wicker Man

Well, with such a complex and robust rebuttal, I'm not sure I can continue thinking the way I have. I mean, Lewis' professional football career appeared to me as evidence that he's a footballer. And the reports I've read about Lewis having some injury issue that impacted his decision to stay, appeared to me to have some merit. But when such a sage man as yourself wields words like that... the impact of a trebuchet behind the accuracy of an epee. I'm in awe. Oh, no, wait, you're just a fucking gobshite whose knowledge of modern football begins and ends with whatever is happening down the road.