The Fish

"clinch safety"? Safety is secure and has been for ages you big tart. We've a couple of home games left, we can enjoy them both without any fear, which is much better than nervously hoping for a good result.

He played up front for about 15-20 minutes. Soon after he moved back TO HIS ACTUAL FUCKING POSITION, he scored. Are we finally playing the way Steve Bruce wanted?

I hate the way you think.

First bit doesn't matter a bit. I got my first diagnosis of high anxiety and severe depression about two decades ago. First therapist reckons I've had it longer but it just went undiagnosed. I had a happy home life, comfortable upbringing, went to Uni, had great friends, was doing well in courses etc. Compared to others I had no reason to feel depressed but I was. Since then I've had periods of my life which have been 'rough' or stressful and so it's obvious as to why I was feeling anxious or depressed. Other times when everything is going well and POW I'm floored by it. I've a very clear memory of sitting on a beach in western Australia, sea breeze gently cooling my sun kissed* head, cold beer in hand, and sobbing like relegated mackem. An ouroboros of sadness and guilt/shame for feeling sad when I've nowt to be sad about and so on and so on. I couldn't cope with that nonsense, you're having to cope with real things. And you will. Because you're smart, and rational and not just a doppelganger for Gordon Ramsay. You see there's an issue, you're looking for ways to address it, you're asking for help. Those three things are huge and you shouldn't downplay or dismiss them. *fucking incinerated.

Who watches this kid unironically? (Pearson I mean)

They should get on of the most important managers of the last 100 years.

Yeah, I'm sure you were throwing your weight around in school Craig.

Want to buy a brand new 7 bottle wine Russel Hobbs cooler?

I've no idea. But on paper he wasn't a terrible signing.

I didn't predict those games, just the bottom 4 teams

4.6 stars on Amazon from 322 reviews says you're wrong.

Latest predictions from that site that, apparently, @Craig linked to.

Based on a comic book.

Honestly? It might be helpful for her to be able to look after someone a bit?

Don't apologise man. You've been through the ringer. It's perfectly human to feel your feelings. You don't need to 'snap out of it', you just need time to process it. And while there is a lot to process, you can absolutely do it. You just need a little help, that's all. If that help comes from reading dumb shit on here about CT's micropenis, or Wykiki ranting about... whatever the fuck bee is in his bonnet today, then that's grand. If that help comes from writing out what's on your mind, then do that too.

No doubt ten Haag is a good coach, but I don't think Man United's issues are with the man picking the team. It's the men picking the transfer targets. Look at Man City and Liverpool. Yes, they've got excellent coaches, but their transfer record has been, on the whole, very good. Buying players that fit the ethos of the clubs. Sure those two clubs have made mistakes, but they've not been forced to field those mistakes every fucking game. Pogba, Ronaldo, Sancho are all good players, but they're just not performing at all. Chiefly, imo, because they're not capable of complimentary styles of play.

Honestly mate, I think it would absolutely be worth spending a little time trying to find a therapist that works for you and that you can meet face-to-face. If the thought of having to talk about really difficult things wasn't bad enough, it gets worse if you lump on having the anxiety of having to repeat what you're saying or even speaking in a way that doesn't come naturally. It'll cost some money mind, but a couple of sessions a month at £70 a session might be worth it, until you can shift down to 1 session a month, or whatever?

I can see why they got Baz on to provide insight on the game. Clearly knows his shit. "What's going on, with this fucking little manager, fucking hell, swear down right, you're going to... fucking hell..... you going game...... it's aaaard game, Bolton away aard game... y... it's tight tight tight. Getting rolled over Sean, what's going on?" Thanks Baz, back to you in the studio. Also their away following is impressive. Dunno how the empty crisp packets and plastic wrapping all made it down from Sunderland, but credit to them, they've turned out in force. Also, why's it got the microphone on a selfie stick thing?

They absolutely could beat Wolves, but the West Midlands team are still in with a shout of Europe so I'm not sure if they'll have their flip flops on.

It's tough because the season hasn't finished and Guimaraes might continue his goal scoring run and propel us into the top half, but I've gone for Joelinton because he ticks so many boxes. Improvement, endeavour, attitude, shithousery, he's even scored a couple of goals too. Other player have improved, but none have had quite the renaissance as big Joe. He's one of the few players I can think of to turn fans opinion round so dramatically. To go outside the club to improve himself was a mark of his character and to take on this new role in the team so enthusiastically is remarkable.

Does this mean you are, or are not in the big smerk next Wednesday? Have we obliviously obeyed London's 1 in 1 out rule?

Jonj has alopecia Edward was an albino. Monger is an amputee. Put these people in their right fucking boxes!

So did I kemosabe, so did I.

It's not even that the new signings have consistently been our best players. Wood has been fairly underwhelming. Targett has been solid. Burn has been decent. Trippier has only played 3 1/2 league games. Guimaraes has only started 7. Joelinton, Krafth, Shelvey have all upped their games.