The Fish

meh, that's not reall happiness happiness is browsing the fridge and finding a fourpack you forgot about, some bacon and some Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough icecream.

don't trust anything that changes the set rules of language at whim. "I'm off to the pub for a few beers, dunno when I'll be back, is that cool?" -I'm going to go and get quite drunk, come home smelling of kebab and smoke, then try to cop a feel with you in bed- "Yes" -=Translation unclear, there follows a sample from the infinite permutations possible=-: Yes No I hate you for taking my leniency for granted I am truly ok with this and will not be too disgusted with your amorous advances later on You bastard, you slept with a friend(who I don't really like but I will imply that we are like sisters so as to further your punishment.) five years ago when we were having one of our break up fortnights I am going to fuck....you.....up I'm not really listening because some talentless shite is on tv making a million off saps like me who are content to perpetuate reality tv because it keeps my dream of shaking my wobbly arse on tv gaining the love and respect of all the famous people who I try to live my life through. I'm not really listening because I want an excuse to be mad at you later to cover the fact I'm actually just a stroppy mare I'm sleeping with your dad and he's better in bed than you I'm sleeping with your sister and she's better in bed with you I'm sleeping with the dog As soon as you leave I'm going to let this fart out, I swear my guts are screwed up tighter than your wallet You forgot our anniversary again you feckless prick Did I leave the gas on..... no The sooner you leave the sooner you come home to me sweety Yeah that's fine, I'm going onto the internet to talk to people I've more in common with Jumanji is on later Shoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoes Do rednecks really have Rednecks and if not why are they called rednecks -=list incomplete=-

An Email from a very bored friend... I know the first bit is old, but the second bit made me chuckle.

I thought Tragedy Plus Time= political ammunition it was my understanding that Dwarves + angered pit vipers = comedy....

a part of me wants to make some joke about Catmag burning her arse on the ceiling light, but fear of brutal and swift retribution means I won't.

where abouts in Whitley?

Why does he have a Beak, a Plane wing on his right and a Giant's Penis on his left? I'm a bit disappointed the 24hr automated videostore round the corner from mine is broken.. I was going to rent Goodfellas* but because them fangled fancy machines are bust I have to settle for a dvd I already have... and I've watched all of them. Which I suppose is obvious as I'm the owner, but I've watched them all too recently to have a second sitting so soon. I know I could download Goodfellas* and watch it, but that might take too long... I could of course simply go to sleep, but I'm far too pleased with myself for getting my report in ahead of schedule. This of courese means I've got a fortnight or so, with no actual work to do for Uni, but that's better than the Medics in my house who have to memorise the muscles in your arm and the bones in your hand.. they've made up rhymes to help them, but when I was listening it sounds more like they're just reading a couple of pages from the FPA thread. anyway I've wittered on long enough for the kettle to have boiled so I'm going to the kitchen. P.s. I used tot hink I shouldn't keep a blog cos IU'd have nothing to write most days... and yet I fill this thread with enough shit to keep farmers in potatos for years! *Madagascar

that's a bit simplistic Renton, it's not just a case of "I'm an alcoholic... I'd better stop drinking" I'm lucky that none of the family I know were stricken with this malady. My dad tells me that his father was an alcoholic and it didn't just ruin his life, but that of his wife and his whole family, to the point that My dad is really quite bitter about the whole thing. It's my view that is not a "habit" like nose picking, or self flaggelation. It's an addiction that corrupts and twists every cognitive thought. Alcoholics now have support systems all around them that can catch it at it's inception, but Best was unfortunate to be born into a culture without those safe guards and was the first footballer to really become idolised outside of the football world aswell. he was the first Superstar of football imo. He tred the first steps down the path that others have walked, Gazza, Maradona et al. His debauchery was shrugged at, where now it would be a massive issue. I don't think he is blameless, but I certainly won't apportion all the blame to a man who, in my eyes, is clearly mentally ill. I respect the footballer, but pity the man.

just because I like men in tight white vests?

My Village (Seaton SLuice) had a street that was jam packed with houses utterly covered in crimbo lights.My mates house was one of the worst, his dad went apeshit for that stuff....they got on local and national news. can't find any images online though

south coast is full of wankers tbh, further north the colder the weather, the less poncy knobheads can stomach it and whine off complaining that it's cold when real men are having the last BBQ of the summer. also the Southern pubs seemed to be inexplicably brimming with moaning aussies, complaining about the weather or the price of the beer.

the third one is pretty fugly to be brutally honest speaking of Brutal I was watching Bruce Lee on 5 this weekend.. I'd love to see that guy work in a modern movie, with the angles and choreography possible it would be .. unfeasible. no wirework though.. God help you if I find any wire work.

Xbox 360 tbh... but only the premium package, the standard is.. not really worth it. failing that I just want something unique and inspiring. so it'll be money, socks and a couple of CD tokens again then...

Yeah it did, but on the plus side it doesn't have Basque seperatists (fnar fnar) I still go to Barcelona man, it's only 3 months, if you can muddle through in spanish you'll do fine, I'd wager that the majority of the people you'll be working with will have superb English and as such you'll be able to chat with them merrily and pick up the lingo pretty sharpish. England isn't a place I'd want to come to if I had the choice tbh.

scared shitless of Shearer being manager tbh Souness should go a week or so before Xmas shopping window opens, give new manager time to buy a defense that he wants. on an associated thread of conciousness, how would playing Carr, Ramage, Taylor, NewLB strike you lot? I'v been thinking about it, we won't go down, and we've still got a decent shout at some form of European spot (even if it is the bliddy Inter-two-bob), Why not let these two young defende3rs shoulder the responsibility as they seem to be the best defenders at the club and have the most to gain from continued presence in the first team.. just a thought.

an exceptional footballer posessed by a spoilt 6 yr old, oh if only the BMA would permit genesplicing experiments. a 19 yr old spliced with Shearer, spliced with Robert, Beardsley, Sir Les, Cole, Ginola. trouble is, with our luck we'd get a stubborn, spoilt, child-beating, one footed, ego-maniacal, flounce-alot Still he's a mardy bum who has wasted his chance to become a true great for this club and now a club operating beneath his ability

so fucking glad I don't watch this shite and don't try and spin that tired old "I watch it 'Ironically' because I'm tremndy" shite either. you should watch proper programmes or nothing. it's like field of Dreams, if you watch shit, they'll make more.

six pack of Carlsberg Export, a Chicken Korma wioth Keema Nan and Ong Bak

comic book geeks aren't as bad as computer game geeks... fuck this is an embarrassing point to make an issue of... I suck...

apparently up and down the country there are pockets of morons booing in the minutes silence. I know that he wasn't a particularly good role model off the pitch, and I know he played for Man U, but I think this is totally out of order.

Black Rebel Motor Club- As Sure As The Sun- B.R.M.C Over-Hyped, but still occassionally worth a listen.

with that I bid you good night and fare well remember, the more originally stupid ways you can find to spend the moeny, the more interesting for the rest of us.

well it's twenty to six in the am and I want you to answer the question posed above. What you would buy with £10,000,000. (or the equivalent in Ozzie Dollars) and I don't mean "nice house, nice car, nice boat" I want websites, and prices. Material items only, no charitible donations or Savings accounts etc. Staff will count towards the total, as will holidays and services (hitmen etc.*) it's not like you're snowed under mate.

didn't Pele also say that Butt was world class and was one of Englands "true Greats"?

I sense a sidstinct lack of MExican cuisine in that shopping list there young lady, quite frankly I'm disappointed in you. You've let Toontastic down, you've let me down, but worst of all you've let yourself down. I think the best thing for you to do is begin a new thread which apologises to the board for your behaviour and frankly rude and slightly racist approach to shopping. I also think someone should start a thread about exactly what they would buy with £10,000,000. and I don't mean "nice house, nice car, nice boat" I want websites, and prices. Material items only, no charitible donations or Savings accounts etc. Staff will count towards the total, as will holidays and services (hitmen etc.*) shut up it's way to wile away the hours instead of working, isn't it? *well you never know....