The Fish

It could be that he's been starting on the left, because our leftback is better defensively than the one on the other flank? (In Trippier's absence)

We can put robots on Mars, deep fake faces onto strangers, convince sports stars to advertise a bitmap image of a monkey. Why the fuck can't we, as a society, come up with statues that bear a decent likeness to their subject? They were doing it 500 years ago.

I don't think it is a good idea and certainly not to leak it now. If they'd released it over the summer when big signings are being made by elite clubs, or whatever they could have snuck it in under the RADAR. As it is, this will be a story, Howe will be asked about it (as if he's got a say) and it will impact the view of Newcastle's performance this season since the takeover. If they'd waited it would have been "Howe's done a great job, the new signings have been largely a success and that Bruno is mint!", now it'll be "The Saudi blood money paid for Newcastle's survival and they'll be celebrating that by spending more blood money and playing in the Saudi national strip next season."

Fishy's best case scenario 15/05 Tottenham Burnley Home Draw Away 15/05 Leeds Brighton Home Draw Away 15/05 Everton Brentford Home Draw Away 19/05 Everton Crystal Palace Home Draw Away 19/05 Aston Villa Burnley Home Draw Away 22/05 Arsenal Everton Home Draw Away 22/05 Brentford Leeds Home Draw Away 22/05 Burnley Newcastle Home Draw Away End of season table looks like; More likely 15/05 Tottenham Burnley Home Draw Away 15/05 Leeds Brighton Home Draw Away 15/05 Everton Brentford Home Draw Away 19/05 Everton Crystal Palace Home Draw Away 19/05 Aston Villa Burnley Home Draw Away 22/05 Arsenal Everton Home Draw Away 22/05 Brentford Leeds Home Draw Away 22/05 Burnley Newcastle Home Draw Away End of season table looks like;

No. Absolutely not. It needs to stand as it is. As a monument to the deluge of piss flowing from the beds of the timorous and weak.

Recipe says Mascarpone What CT bought

Aye, doesn't make a lot of sense to spend a fortune on an injury plagued striker to bolster our forward line that's often left short because of an injury plagued striker.

'This recipe asks for salt, but we're out. Will dandruff do instead?'

Kuqi, Choudhury, Khizanishvilli, Doumbia and Wayne Quinn

Went to find a line up selector thingy and first hit was "Chosen 11". Their suggested default for Newcastle United is; Dunno what's funnier, how out of date it is with Anita, Gouffran and Diame in there. Or how 7 of those out of date players are still at the fucking club? Anyway, I'd go

Confucius say: Weeding doesn't stop with first daffodil

I think we do need a cull, mind you. Sometimes, when there's someone in the group that doesn't quite 'get it', he needs to be moved on.

I didn't say it was a good one.

Not sure, but Paddy Power will give you odds on it.

Honestly, I don't disagree with much of what you say. But a large number of podcasts are just three white middle aged nerds who are opinionated arseholes and use it as an means to legitimise their hobbies to their partners. Which is much better than what you said.

I'd like Eriksen, Grillitsch and Henderson. 3 big upgrades for no fees. Buy a goal threat for the right wing like (but not necessarily Ismaila Sarr) Buy a 1-in-3 or better striker, whose goals come from movement and technique, rather than size and strength. Buy a left back as good as, or better than Targett I think we can do all of that for less than the reported £60-80m + £whateverwemakeinsales

What a brilliant way to endear himself to the people of Liverpool at the end, there.

He says, on a messageboard filled with other cunts opinions about football...

It was right up your snarky arsehole!

In a similar spirit; I don't care if he stays or goes. He's our most creative, most unpredictable, biggest threat, by a mile. He's our least reliable, most frustrating, biggest liability, by a mile. There are better players out there in his position who we could get with the kind of funds his sale + our wealth allow. His position is not the priority for this upcoming window and better players in other positions would have a greater impact on our fortunes next season.

Facundo Ferreyra The prosecution rests.