The Fish

I'd like to see some movement this week, but honestly, I trust Howe, Ashworth and the owners to make the right transfer decisions. They're definitely going to get some wrong, because of course they are, but if Lille are acting the cunt over Botman, we can still buy centre backs that are significant upgrades on Clark, Lascelles and Fernandez. We can still buy forwards who are upgrades on Wood and Gayle, even if Reims act the cunt over Ekitike. So my eagerness to see some new player holding the scarf is just impatience. What's not been talked about much is outgoings. We have over 30 senior players at the club where maybe 7 are shoe-ins for first 11 next season. 8 really should be moved on (inc Clark). That leaves about 15-20 players who'll either be in the squad or need to be shipped out. Could we see an exodus of >10 players?

So much to unpack from that photograph. Dungeon Master with the bowl cut in the middle looks like he's already got a decent idea how to get his "Dispose of the body" badge. Flag Shagger at the back is has that manic look in his eyes that tells me this could all turn violent, very quickly...

Are you sure? Have you even tried? a little voodoo here, a little necromancy there. You'll kick yourself if you don't give it a go.

It's good. Not as good as Topgun Maverick at an IMAX screen good, but good nonetheless. Topgun is a bit stodgy in the middle, the supporting cast are 2d, but for a genuine blockbuster action film, it's better than the overwhelming majority of films I've seen recently. Yes, better than most of the Marvel films.

Back to San Francisco where we can live out our days together? Sounds dreamy

Scotty gets another one right. You and me Gemmill, you and me against the world. Boys is bonkers and brilliant. Have to be honest, I'm not remotely bothered about the Lord of the Rings thing, I'll give it a couple of episodes but not one of the shows that have tried to recreate Game of Thrones' pull has come close.

Very much the Steve Bruce aura about him. An actual decent manager would have had them safe well before they were. I always said they were staying up and only people drunk on their own self-regard got carried away predicting their relegation.

Moussa Diaby ASM

I never claimed I was, ya mook

The thing about Craig is that he's quite happy to just walk away from a disagreement...

Steady.

The rank arrogance of the man to think that, in a few years time we're going to look back at Bruce's tenure with anything but disdain. Like, when we're likely watching our team play successful football, with maybe a trophy in the cabinet or one on the horizon, we're going to elbow our mate in the ribs and say "Hey, couldn't have done it without Brucey, eh?" Fucking deluded bellend.

How will they feel when they read that their bezzy Millwall mates aren't staying in Sunderland, but would rather stay in Newcastle?

Possibly, but it's an area of real weakness for our squad.

Yeah this feels more like a Glazer type takeover than anything else. Yeehaw, Looking forward to maximising those profit margins lil buddy, Woooo!

I get the sense, that they think they're going back up as (at worst) a Championship squad. But it's not, it's a League 1 squad and not even a runaway winner of Division 3. Transfermarkt values the Sunderland squad at £16.43m, Wigan at c£13m and Rotherham at c£10m Blackpool have the lowest Championship squad value at £14.13m So for next season this gives a rough idea of where they are in the pecking order

Amen

And you're forever lifting things from social media and reacting to them!

Best overall Almiron - Palace Trippier - Everton Wilson - Palace Biggest Buzz Trippier - Everton Bruno - Leicester Bruno - Southampton

I don't understand from where you get the nerve for this, mind.

I conditionally formatted the most pertinent columns, dicksplash!

Was having a look at our squad. I'd sell/release; Jonjo Shelvey - ageing and doesn't fit EH's style Jamaal Lascelles - not PL standard any more (if he ever was) Jamal Lewis - we can do better plus question marks over injury/mentality. Whichever lead him to miss a season. Isaac Hayden - was a good servant but not the level we're aiming for Karl Darlow - was a good servant but not the level we're aiming for Ciaran Clark - terrrrrrible Matt Ritchie - was a good servant but not the level we're aiming for Dwight Gayle - not PL standard any more (if he ever was) Mark Gillespie - terrrrrrrible Keep for the squad unless a good offer comes in; Joe Willock - shown flashes of the player he was tail end of the previous season, but only flashes Miguel Almirón - works hard, seems a nice kid I've still some hope he can kick on Sean Longstaff - home grown, but really should only be used as a squad player Chris Wood - a needs must signing, but now those needs can be met by someone better Ryan Fraser - unlucy with injury, but on his day still dangerous. Martin Dubravka - fairly solid 'keeper who should only be replaced by someone special Jacob Murphy - likeable, works hard, fast and has some technique. Plus, he's a fan Emil Krafth - the improvement can't be ignored, but he's not good enough long term. Javier Manquillo - versatile, good pro, limited Paul Dummett - home grown, experienced, versatile And have for the first team unless a ridiculous offer comes in; Allan Saint-Maximin - most creative player, can change a game in an instant, not too old to better himself Bruno Guimarães - a literal deity Callum Wilson - deadly when fit, too often injured Kieran Trippier - model pro, high quality, natural leader Joelinton - unbelievable renaissance, can improve further too Fabian Schär - improved hugely under Howe, 2nd best CB at the club Dan Burn - Best CB at the club, local lad, fucking huge.

All right. Compared him to last seasons Wilson plus Zapata and Toney of this season. slightly below Wilson in terms of xG, slightly above him in terms of xA. Does more defensively than the other 3 (1.21 tackles p90, c18 pressures p90 with a 23% success rate). Has more dribbles per 90 and a better success rate too (60%). Does lose the ball more than the others and doesn't carry the ball into the box as often as Zapata and Wilson. Appears decent in the air, winning more aerial duels than the other three, but could that be because he tends to be competing with fullbacks, rather than centre backs? I dunno.