The Fish

2 seasons, on c£50k a week? about £5m.

Who gives a fuck where the upgrade on our squad comes from? If we'd signed Botman from Bournemouth would that means he's not as good? If we got him on a free does that mean he's definitely not an upgrade on Lascelles? The difference between Ashley and these owners is clear; ambition. Under Mike we never would have signed someone like Burn in January, let alone Guimaraes. If we'd somehow managed to sign improvement on our squad, which so far every first team signing has been, for nothing, from unfashionable clubs, I know I wouldn't give a toss.

I thought there was a limit on how much the owners can put into the club per year?

I think we're going after players that teams don't want to lose, and offering a reasonable amount for them. But we're getting quoted inflated prices for those players, then the agents are demanding inflated wages because they're of the belief that Newcastle United are the richest club in the world and can therefore afford it. When, in reality, due to FFP we have to box a little clever. Also, the leaks are most likely coming for the other side of the deal to either drum up interest, or force our hand. Look at Ekitike, for example, we agreed a £25.6m fee (+ add ons) for a young player with potential, he's eventually gone on loan to PSG because his agent was acting the fool. In a years time, unless he somehow breaks into the PSG first team ahead of Neymar, Messi, Mbappe, Icardi, and Kalimuendo, he'll be going back to Reims with his value decreased. Diego Carlos we were quoted £30m plus add ons, he went for £28m to Villa. We got Burn instead for £13.5m and I don't think Carlos is twice the player Burn is. Sven Botman, Lille wanted c£45m, we eventually got him for £30m If we'd spent the asking price for these players, we would be £30m worse off and the impact to FFP that that entails.

Honestly, I think it's the revenue issue. If we can get some sponsorship deals through, we'll have more room to manoeuvre. We've got cash for fees, but I think the wages are the issue. Fees and wages are only allowed to make up 70% of our revenue, so if we can get some phat sponsorship deals in play we should be ok, buuuuut those deals will be scrutinised by the PL, the FA and other clubs to make sure they are at 'fair market value', which is surely a purely a subjective position. So, in the mean time, it makes sense to move on players like Gayle, Shelvey et al, who, while not on giant wages, are on way more than a 4th choice midfielder or striker should be.

Don't hate the player

Sure, but you exhaust lower cost options, before committing to overpaying, right? We could have got Botman for, what was it, £50m in January? Or we got him for £34m this summer. Makes sense, right?

Who scored the one after Amarilla? Every night I've been hugging my pillow

Both decent defensively as attacking players go, Dennis the better finisher. Wouldn't be terrifically excited about either, but I wasn't that excited about Burn or Tartgett either so what the fuck do I know? They are definitely both an upgrade on the departing Gayle and arguably on Almiron and Wood too, which I guess is the most important part of the puzzle.

Just checked the BBC Weather site, and we're not due one at all. FFS

Exactly the type of player a newly promoted to the Championship team buy. Bought by a top flight club, farmed out on loan forever, still goes for more than he's worth.

Yup, slow the impact until some massive nerd comes up with a way to arrest the damage or manage climate better.

It will be the same wages he's on now.

JS' contract runs out June 30 2023. If he's on £80k, say, that's <£1m. Even if we were to put him out on loan and cover his wages, that's surely worth it?

There's a few that will have to drop out of the squad to be fair. By my count we have 29 players that need to be reduced to 25. But we've glaring weaknesses at AM, RW and CF. We could probably get by without 1 of those positions being significantly strengthened in this window. Of the 7 you've mentioned Bruno and Joelinton have to be included. Paqueta too, if he were signed. Does Anderson need to be registered? He's only 19, right? So, realistically you'd need to drop/sell/loan out Shelvey, Willock or Longstaff. I know that Shelvey gets a 12month extension if he plays 3 more games and I'd argue if we can buy another CM, it makes most sense to move him on before that extension is brought into play.

I have nothing original to say about the heat, it's just so fucking hot.

Sorry to hear that man.

Back from the gym, house is unbearably hot, might go to the pub. I'll take the work phone, y'know, just in case...

Sacking the rest of the work day off, going to the gym for a swim and then sit in their air-conditioned cafe.

It's only 29 here, supposed to get up to 35, which isn't ideal for a little'un. It'll be the same or a little hotter tomorrow, but fuck it he's Nursery's problem then.

We'll probably overpay but, if the striker is 'worth' £40m to the market as a whole, and we end up paying £60m, that's fine. It's not like we're paying £6m for Riviere when he's worth 60p, the £40m winger will likely be much better than whatever we've got, right?

Why does the club captain need to be on the pitch? If his leadership qualities outweigh his footballing qualities, and there are other leaders on the pitch, what's the harm? I couldn't give a toss about who the club captain is, because I'm zen as fuck.

Forget about that Rosco, how many fucking tabs have you got open man?!

Captaincy doesn't just happen on the pitch to be fair. Can't see Lascelles starting many games ahead of Botman, Burn, or Schar.