The Fish

No it fucking wouldn't you wet whimpering queef. Ticks enough of the performance analysis boxes (technical, loads of stamina, presses well) ✅ has the potential to improve ✅ is within PSR wriggle room ✅ expects reasonable wages ✅ who plays in a style that dovetails with the team ✅ has the right personality to mesh with the squad ✅ and experience of Premier League preferrable 🚫

You can't constrain a talent like Shane to something as pedestrian as positions, or roles or tactics.

Rotherham could do with some cash, maybe we get back Shane Ferguson?

I wouldn't mind that so much. But I guess my point is that he's not a long term answer.

It's not just about upgrading Murphy though, is it? Yes, we could sign Sterling or whomever. But that'll leave us in a wage problem, and we'll have to replace Sterling soon enough. The pool we're fishing in is small. We need a player who; Ticks enough of the performance analysis boxes (technical, loads of stamina, presses well) has the potential to improve is within PSR wriggle room expects reasonable wages who plays in a style that dovetails with the team has the right personality to mesh with the squad and experience of Premier League preferrable Now, within these parameters, drop a list of available, affordable, appropriate players would you please?

He is. But he's also more egotistical, on higher wages, doesn't fit the age profile of players we should be signing, et-fucking-cetera. It's a big old "No!" from ya boy.

Wait, are people genuinely talking about signing Raheem Sterling? Jesus, you've lost your collective minds.

Oh, that sounds like a pain

When are you going to take the hint? Brexit means Brexit!

Wtf is this?! Have we surrendered to chaos now?

The capricious nature of fate ✅

Mark Gillespie has a shirt number. No way is he getting a chance.

But isn't that no different to a player getting an unexpected leg break or something? Don't think it was a PSR mistake. Now, had Tonali been available all season but had been shit, then that is a PSR mistake in my book.

So clearly them wanting to get in on the whole US Draft nonsense.

Manchester United ‘learn’ asking price of Marc Guehi plus more transfer rumours - Manchester Evening News 21/10/2023 Man Utd were quoted £60m

You've forgotten about how beautiful parts of County Durham are, and how grimy parts of Newcastle are. Therefore your reasoned argument is wrong.

? We did?

I don't think that's true, look at what Forest paid for Anderson, or what West Ham paid for Max Kilman. The market is all over the place. I blame Chelsea

Well, that's accordion to you.