The Fish

But I wanna stwiker!!!

That's the point, President Pissypants, there's a week to go. The club hasn't said "Our business is done", we're still seeing rumours for long term targets like Paqueta, short term targets like Joao Pedro and brand new targets like this Terrier.

Our defence has been poor for fucking years, either in terms of personnel or organisation. Now we have England internationals at Right back and in goal. One of the most highly rated young centrebacks in the world and an ultra-relaible midtable Premier League left back and big Dan Burn too. No longer are we fielding a Championship defence, hoping that hardwork and honesty will be enough to hold back the opposition. Our defence isn't just the last line anymore, it's the first step we take in attack too. If the window ends without an attack, the team is still far stronger than it was last season. For what it's worth I don't believe the window is over. Those players I mentioned are still good, and they'd still improve us, but I'm not pissing my sheets because we didn't sign Marcus Rashford, or that Darwin Nunez chose the title challenging Liverpool over us. Paqueta still might sign. You're just a spoiled brat.

A poor window? Fuck off man.

Some of you need to get past this. Ever other club still expects us to pay over the odds for players, every agent expects us to throw over the odds money at their clients. It's not going to happen. Isn't helped when Forest are paying £40m for Gibbs-White, when Chelsea are happy to pay £60m for Godfrey. But the Botman, Burn, Guimaraes, Pope, Targett, and Trippier deals show that we're not going to show our arse every time we want a player.

Then I hope we don't and we get to see Paul Dummett lift a pot.

Are all of the Premier League teams just shit this year?

They've spent c£130m on an ageing defensive midfielder who has never been the most mobile, a 5'9" centreback and a leftback with some potential. They've sold/loaned out a few players; Alex Telles Álvaro Fernandez Andreas Pereira Dean Henderson Edinson Cavani Jesse Lingard Juan Mata Lee Grant Nemanja Matić Paul Pogba but the only one they've got any cash for is £8.5m from Fulham for Pereira.

I don't think it solves their issues either. £70m on an ageing defensive midfielder, when; their defence is broken, their midfield is... messy and their strikeforce isn't working. They've got a manager who'll want high-energy, fluid movement, and a high standard of technical ability. The Premier League demands physicality, and pace. Who the fuck is there now who can provide that, and who have they bought this window who can?

I'll just put a magnet at the end of the drive, fry your circuitboards before you get to the front door.

I'd probably want to name 11 players, mind. We're good, but I don't think we should try and beat them with 8 men.

Looking forward to seeing Casemiro try to keep up with the pace and movement of even the most average midfields in the Premier League.

He's booked a table at the Wetherspoons near his house and doesn't want to lose the deposit.

I'm getting strong 2011/12 vibes from the start of this season.

I think the difference between then and now is the ethos of Howe's teams. Whomever we play in the cup game, the way we play will stay largely the same. I'd rest ASM and Bruno, maybe Trippier and one of the centre backs. Maybe give Dubravka a game? With Longstaff, Murphy, Fraser, Krafth, Anderson and the like playing we should still have enough to beat Tranmere. Especially if we play with the same intensity we saw in the games against Forest and Brighton.

Surly not.

Well, that was a challenging wank.

If I was a Man Utd fan, I'd take the 3-0 loss.

Made a bet with a mate that we'd finish above his Man Utd side this season. After spending 10 minutes telling me everything that's wrong with his club and how he genuinely thinks they're at risk of going down if not this season then soon, he still took the bet. "Ronaldo and Casemiro" were his reasons for thinking the side he just slated, would finish above us. So if anyone wants a free £25 in May, I suggest finding a Man Utd fan sharpish.

The only bold thing around here is your interpretation of the English language.

It's derivative and only really works if you've got a nun and a semi-on

That wasn't a joke, I know all the jokes and that wasn't one of them.