The Fish

I'd recommend going back to re-read it again there, PL.

I do not know what, in the blue hell, you are talking about.

infinitely higher than John O'Shea leading Sunderland to Carling Cup glory, let along Champions League glory.

Same.

Ever feel that everything is just a little askew? Last couple of days, everything has just felt a little off. Like, food doesn't taste right, conversations have felt stilted, can't get comfortable in chairs or the bed.

Once a Geordie, always a Geordie. #SpeshulRelayshunship

They're in good form. Conceded 1 goal in the last 6 PL games and that was against Man City. They've beaten Leeds, Wolves, Everton and West Ham, all by at least 2 goals. Although their form has significantly improved, their underlying performance metrics haven't significantly improved. They're still giving up good chances and their opponents have been very wasteful, The Wolves game for example, Leicester won 4-0, but they only took 5 shots, and scored with all 4 that hit the target. They only created 0.9xG so it's not even like they carved open absolute sitters, and they gave up 2.1xGA yet didn't concede at all. Home to Leeds, they again created little, less than their opponents, and yet somehow ran out 2-0 winners. Guess I'm saying it'll be a 0-0, but we'll have deserved to win.

It's the conviction of 'Probably thinking'. It's not a possibility, it's a probability.

Is that their anthem? Wise Men? I'm absolutely convinced I've heard it elsewhere, for ages. Wiki says;

There has to be reasonable Sunderland fans out there somewhere, right? They can't all be fully paid up members of the RTG FTM crowd, right? I've a Sunderland supporting mate and while he began quite level headed about it, the better we do, the more he's referencing the clichés you find on there; blood money bought success, Saudis will go off and buy Man Utd, Player X would never sign->only signed for blood money->won't be very good -> clearly has no morals and will be off the minute the bubble bursts, etcetera.

Absolutely. I don't believe that the owners are going to stop investing or that they expected us to be where we are both in terms of league position and overall quality. Shrewd additions to the squad now must be made with an eye on the next 3,5,10 seasons in mind. We don't have to splurge it all now. Tielemans would be a good addition, but I don't think he solves the defensive midfield position. Personally think we'd be better off signing an out and out DM like Edson Alvarez, but acknowledge the price could be prohibitive. If we end up 5th or higher, the standard of players we could attract will rise dramatically. We also won't need to spend as much on wages to convince them to join us. So, I gues what I'm trying to say is that if we sign some fringe players now, and keep our powder dry for the summer, we could end up attracting much, much better players. However if we spend our cash on Tielemans now, we'd likely need to replace him in the next season or two anyway.

I'm sure the FA Cup will be downplayed until the minute we're out, too. Should we finish in the Europa league spots, that'll be a nothing competition, until we leave it, and of course if the unthinkable happens and we qualify for the Champions League, that'll not be as 'proper' a competition as the Papa Johns Trophy. I'm not getting angry at imagined scenarios either, look back through their board and you'll see evidence of the nonsense.

Saw someone on twitter liken the Carabao Cup to a holiday romance. When you're in it it's dead exciting and fun, the minute you're out you don't care about it at all.

We controlled the game, had a few chances (Almiron's chief among them), and all while looking rusty A F. We're through to the quarter finals of the League Cup where the best sides left in are Man Utd (probably) and one of Man City and Liverpool. I'm not saying we'll definitely win the cup, but we're definitely winning the League Cup lads. Leicester put 3 past a side 23rd in League 1, let not get carried away with their result. They're in a good run of form, but we've looked solid at the back for ages. Only conceded 2 goals in the last 8 games.

I know you're being flippant, but honestly, we'd need to increase the number of point we take from the 'top 6' clubs if we were to seriously mount a title challenge.

Caught between the memory of optimism based on our amazing form pre-World Cup, and the bedrock of pessimism from over a decade of Ashley and even longer of Cup fuck ups. I'm going for a close run 2-1.

And on that bombshell...

Listen here Private Pissy Pants, we're 3rd and that's unbelievable, but we are categorically not in the title hunt. Not yet. We'd need to improve our form beyond the spectacular return we're seeing now. You flit between hubris and pessimism quick as a hiccough. It must be exhausting. It's exhausting to watch. But I cannot imagine living a life that oscillates so.

Haven't England got an atrocious record when their game's on itv?

There's starving kids in Africa man. They'd love a holiday.

That suggests I've something to wind down from.

Haaland had a release clause, and trophy laden, title-chasing Man City had been pursuing him for a while. Kvaratskhelia doesn't have a release clause, we are not laden with Trophies, nor are we title chasing. He moved to Napoli in July and his contract runs until 2027. He's scored 6 and assisted 5 in 11 starts in the league. Napoli are currently unbeaten, sitting on top of Serie A, 8pts clear of AC Milan. They topped their Champions League group, ahead of Liverpool and Ajax (and Rangers) and are favourites to get passed Frankfurt. I'd be absolutely staggered if he left Napoli after 6 months when everything is going so well.

No chance we'd get Kvaratskhelia for £50m, scant chance we'll get him in January at all. Still think DM and depth at fullback are the priorities.

Needs an intervention, that lad.