The Fish

British Gas charge about the same to fit it. The bastards

Listen to you, implying that Seaton Delaval is akin to Mayfair. I'm mostly joking, but the overwhelming majority of people from Liverpool that I've met have been exactly like the stereotype. Over inflated sense of self worth, unshakeable confidence in the impact their city has had on music, comedy, the arts. Instant over the top defence against any criticism (perceived or otherwise) of their club, their city, their music, comedy or similar. Some of them can be ok if you dance between those laser beams, but a lot can't.

Only 3 in 10 chances that fell to Longstaff are put away, yes. Maybe 4 in 10 chances like Dan Burn's are put away. Because there are more players who can finish like Longstaff than there are players who can finish like Shearer. Those chances can fall to defenders, midfielders or just shit strikers. We're dealing with big numbers here.

7pts between 1st and 3rd, 7pts between 5th and 17th.

loads of chances, not a lot of big ones in the first half. e.g. Longstaff's chance in the first minute was only something like 0.3xG.

Ee bah gum, yo tek tha back or al git t'HR on't you. pu wood in'thole

It's so transparent that the barometer for the PL's quality is how well/poorly Newcastle United are doing. If we were rock bottom, the PL would be praised "They don't belong in the top flight", safely midtable "There's a lot of stodge in the top flight", and so on. It's just a gossamer thin comfort blanket. They would be the league's whipping boys were they to get promoted this season and deep down they know it. Even shambles like Southampton, Wolves and Everton would batter them. Each of the three teams currently in the relegation places would be odds-on favourites to get promoted from the Championship, such is the gulf in quality and wealth.

Hillborough is definitely off the table. Scousers being self-aggrandising arseholes is fair game though.

Warnock genuinely tells a story about interviewing for the Norwich job, ages ago. And some senior exec asks "Will the fans like the way you play", Warnock proudly tells how he looked them all in the eye, took a deep breath and said "Aye, I think they'll like winning". Proudly, like it doesn't make him sound like a cunt. Also, it sounds a lot like one of those stories where the teller swaps in what he wished he'd come up with, for what he really said.

Yeah, the dead don't talk.

Sister in Law (yes I'm married, didn't I mention that?) had a survey done before a move late summer 2022. Response was that the roof needed doing. Vendor wouldn't either pay for the work themselves, or knock the cost (or a significant portion of it) off the asking price. The house is still For Sale now.

Prutton asked the pair of them about young English managers at the moment and they both talked about Frank and Steve. Not Potter, Howe, Cooper, O'Neil who are all currently out performing Lampard (18th in the League) and Gerrard (Unemployed after being shit), no, they're happy for Frank and Steve. They both sounded very much like Old Men shouting at Clouds. "Players can't go for 6-7 pints of an evening now." "Won't be as much fun though" That's right Steve, that's right Neil, professional fucking athletes can't go and get shit faced the night before a game because they're professional fucking athletes. Jesus Christ. Then Prutton asked if any young managers had asked either of them for advice, and they seemed genuinely offended that a young, modern manager wasn't desperate to shadow them. Sorry Steve, not many young managers are going to want to sit on a Portguese sun lounger watching you turn puce as you escape criticism for how fucking awful your brand of football is.

He definitely wanted a quick sale, but a working, fit-for-purpose academy, training ground, facilities are part of the club you're trying to sell. And the academy, unlike the other two, is a revenue stream. A businessman of his success should have seen that.

Even before the takeover we were in a position (if we had an elite academy setup) to attract players from Edinburgh down to Hull, and all the way across to the west coast. We could have been attracting talent who weren't taken up by the North West clubs. You mention those 4, but if you include Adam Armstrong, Matty Longstaff, Sammy Ameobi, Dan Barlaser, Callum Roberts, these are all local talents who we had at the academy who've gone on to have a professional career in the Football League. And that's without investment. Imagine what we could have done if the club was better run on that front. They don't all have to be PL quality, they just have to show promise and be moved on for actual money. I also think it's important to have local lads playing for your team, fill a club with those from afar and they're less likely to 'get' the club. Have a few Longstaff's, Burns and Dummetts and that culture gets carried onto the pitch.

Brentford Problem, not a Newcastle Problem.

Aye, I read up on them and put myself firmly in the 'Well that's not fucking worth it' camp. We'll be replacing the boiler soon, but it'll be combi for combi and nothing else.

That sounds like a BP, not a NP.

Is that one of those heat pumps?

This is the thing, I've been paying £15 a month for Homecare for the past 4yrs, only had to call out a British Gas engineer at most, twice. Now, when the call out is £99, that's £918 I've pushed their way for- fuck all. I would have spent c£120 if I'd just used a local guy. Maybe even less if they'd fixed an issue that prevented shit down the road. So I could have already put £850 towards a personal trainer for Renton. So it's him I feel bad for, it's for him that I'm fighting British Gas. #PrayForRenton

We had to get a boiler guy out a few times in the past 3 months, first one was British Gas because we pay for the Homecare. Our boiler was leaking, so they came out a couple of days later replaced a part, tried really hard to sell me a new boiler and then left, which cost me £124 including call out. Then the boiler packed in just before Xmas and I phoned again, they said the earliest they could get out was like 4 weeks later. Understandably I said, fuck that, and phoned a local guy. He came the same day, replaced a different £15 part that should have been replaced by the BG bloke, which only cost me £80 including call out. We then had to have him out for the frozen condensate pipe and he fixed the pipe, showed us what to do if it freezes again and would only accept a cup of tea and a mince pie for his troubles. So now I'm in a protracted complaint process with British Gas because, what the fuck am I actually paying for?

To be fair, setting aside the wrongful accusations, people from Liverpool are awful, awful people.

Me and Alex dropping knowledge.

I 100% believe that he thought that. But honestly, I think that a well financed, well staffed academy is a production line of saleable assets. Sure, few of them are going to go for tens of millions of pounds, but plenty will go for north of a hundred grand. If you can sell 2-3 young lads to Championship clubs for a total of around £1m you've surely covered the running costs of the club, plus lads who go for sub £100k to lower leagues and Scotland. You'll occasionally get some who'll go for millions and rarely one or two that'll either be good enough to make part of the team going forward, or sell for tens of millions to an elite club.

That and the dancing.

Do the beach up to Blyth. Do a bit of paddle boarding too. Get a Dog! Bikram Yoga!