The Fish

Racism and bullying? Lets hope not.

Same reason it's not called a half back any more. As football and the reporting on it evolves, so does the terminology. The casual fan is more educated on the styles of play, the formations, the systems than they've ever been. So now, when you say Howe's team plays a high press, the majority of fans immediately knows what that looks like. When someone said Aguero is a False 9, people pushed back on it, but now that role is understood as distinct and separate from an attacking midfielder or classic number 9 striker. Sweeper keepers weren't called that until fairly recently. Inverted Wingers... the list goes on. Change is inevitable, especially in language. Nobody 'googled' for shit on the internet before the late 90s, now everyone knows what that means.

It's not about sexiness, (well, the foreign terms like trequartists and Mezzala... maybe), it's about clarity and accuracy.

Everything is made up bollocks. They use 'Low' because in the collection of terms it's more in-keeping than deep. High, Deep or Mid doesn't scan as well as High, Low or Mid. It's like the resistance to 'Transition' "Why can't you just call it counter-attack". Well, obviously, it's because not every transition happens when one team is attacking. Sometimes it's when a team is dicking about at the back, or playing possession based football in the centre. It's a better description of what is actually being described. But old men shouting at clouds will moan on and say it's overly complicating it. It's not, it's just better specificity. Tell me something, if you put your cantankerous hat to one side for a moment, would you be able to work out what someone meant by Low Block? You would, wouldn't you? It makes sense, it's a short description of a more complex idea. Low Block is to football what 'parking the bus' is to football. It's what pressing is to football. It's what counter-attack is to football. Just an evolution of the simple terms used to describe a more complicated idea.

And the point I'm making is, Low Block is a perfectly good way to describe an entrenched defensive shape low down the pitch. I can kind of understand why grumpy old men resist Mezzala and Trequartista, but Low Block? Howay man, that's just being obstinate.

Hey, Toonpack, what's the opposite of "high"? gtfooh

Longstaff does more defensive work than Willock, I'm not letting you drop Sean.

He's not running the channels, he's rarely coming deep to collect. He seems to be playing more and more like a targetman, when he just isn't that kind of player. Isak had more touches in 25 minutes than Wilson did in 67. ASM did too.

Drop Willock or Joelinton?

Nah, mine's going to be QLED screen scrolling through my final words. When the sun dies, it will be the only thing on Earth still going.

Then, and I don't say this lightly, Jesus Wept.

Everyone just looked a little jaded. They need a break, a little competition for their place. Honestly think we need another midfielder or two just to give Bruno a break.

That has to be a Newcastle fan on the windup, surely?

That seems needlessly wordy, when "Low Block" describes it well and more succinctly. And when I say something is too wordy, you can take that to the fucking bank.

Yeah, fuck it. Lets resist change. Call it asoccer, lets say Bruno's a half back. If I wasn't such an ornery cunt, I'd give up on the lot of you.

As a term for a handheld electronic device? I bet they fucking do.

That's not necessarily a low block though. You could have your midfield way up the field, couldn't you?

what if they don't play 4-4-2? Didn't think about THAT, did you Mr Smug?

You lot are like my 76yr old Dad whenever I use a phrase like "tablet" or Cappuccino. "arty farty coffee if you ask me." Go and get your slippers and book of sudoku, you ungrateful pack of geriatrics.

It's exactly what you think it is. Coaches' Voice | The low block: football tactics explained (coachesvoice.com) The organisation of your defenders to block the opponents, near to your own goal.

Martin, be fair. Ask me about comics and I'm gonna dominate, but quiz shows are your thing.

He was, but he's got a straight line approach to the attack. To get through a low block, we absolutely need someone who takes a more fancy-dan approach. A fancy-Dan, French, flop-to-the-floor, five-stepovers, prick of a winger.

The fuck did I do?