The Fish

Genuinely, look at the fixtures Craig put up. They're going to need about 21pts from those games. I can't see it.

Dyche's last five seasons at Burnley averaged 1.14PpG. To get to 36pts, Everton will need to get 1.17PpG. 0.43PpG more than their current 0.75PpG. Everton are conceding the most chances and Dyche might be able to fix that, but they're also failing to create many with only Bournemouth, Wolves and Palace that are worse. And I'm not sure that Dyche's Burnley were particularly good at fashioning chances. Avg xG = 1.09 Avg xGA = 0.89 Avg G = 0.97 Avg GA = 1.39 If he maintains his Burnley average (1.14), they'd end up on 35pts.

Will Dyche have enough to keep these up? Bielsa wouldn't have, but he would have at least given them a platform to return. If Dyche doesn't keep them up this time, they'd have to replace him to come back as anything more than a plodding bottom half PL side. Which means another change of direction.

If an official request has been put in, it might muddy the waters a little? Also if you're an agent of a player who's binning off training, I don't think you'd have any qualms about having a conversation about the kind of deal your client would accept maybe possibly allegedly your honour.

aka her tits

However long the party is going to last, Gloomy's hospitality will last longer. Look at him, he's a peach.

Have to admit, the unveiling of Anthony Gordon wouldn't reverberate like Robert or Martins did, I reckon.

Transport is easy, MF will be driving his murdervan down. Accommodation is Gloom's Georgian townhouse and childcare can be taken care of by the seagulls.

When was the last time we had one of those? Last one I truly remember was Robert, I think?

Yeah, I still think ours is a squad game and to get a result they'll all have to do their part and then someone like Isak or like you say ASM to do that little bit extra.

Transfermarkt has him at £3m, the most valuable player they actually own. 10% of their estimated Market value. Take out the loan players and he's 15% of their £32.3m squad value. As a comparison, the least valuable squad in the Premier League is Bournemouth at £162m. They're £50m off the second lowest, Fulham. Yet these clowns think they'd get mid table? They're not even going to get fucking promoted from the Championship, from where do they draw the resource to fuel this level of delusion? Is it in the Cheese? The Chips? The Blue pop?

Been flat, boring and full of racists. Fuck all of Lincolnshire, fuck it in it's boring, flat racist face.

I have a distrust about being confident in Newcastle. Going to take a long time to get over that. I think we can beat Man Utd. I think they're still a little porous at the back and I think we're unbelievably resilient at the back. But I think they've got the quality and strength in depth that we don't. Isak might be the piece of the puzzle that means all these chances we're making get put back into the fucking net. But he might not. End of the day, if we make it to the Top 4, and the League Cup final in Eddie Howe's first full season... well, holy shit.

Lincoln, then?

The season will be a roaring success even if we don't win the League Cup, don't finish in the Top 4. Because this is just the beginning. This season was expected to be one of transition from a midtable, stodgy team to something better. Nobody expected Top 4, nobody expected us to have one foot in the League Cup final. Other fans might be bitching about how much we've spent or how much of a shithouse team we are. Wait until they get a load of NUFC 23/24.

You were swimming in a pool of your own piss not so long ago, now you're out front of Team Positive, leading the charge.

You, to me, are an enigma.

They've got 8 games between now and the final, we've got 4 or 5 if the Brighton game is pulled forward. That's 8 games when Casemiro and Rashford can get injured, 2 of those games are against dorty Leeds.

I'd not be surprised if this was spun as an attractive prospect when PIF were convinced to buy us. Here's a blank canvas, few if any existing contracts and none that would be prohibitively expensive to get out of, a sandbox to build the business side of the club into the form you want.

They've obviously got quality but; They're the only PL club still competing in 4 competitions They've got the home leg against Barcelona 3 days earlier They've got the game at Anfield after the Final They looked open at the back against Forrest

No.

Have to assume that a few were put off by thought of associating with both Sports Direct and a club with no ambition beyond survival?

No, Longstaff and Joe (Linton or Willock) couldn't play as a double pivot.

Yeah, you lot suck