The Fish

Dunno who I hold in greater contempt, him for singing, or you for sharing it.

To get the most out of ASM we need him to receive the ball deeper than he has in the last few games. If he gets the ball around the 18yd box there's a congested box at the end of his dribble. The other attackers are marked, the opposition has bodies occupying space at the very least. If he gets the ball around the halfway line he can beat his man/men and that leaves them a man or two down in the defensive 3rd. Which means more options for the pass, or simply a more clear route to the shot for ASM himself. The same isn't true on the right hand side. We want Almiron to run onto a searching pass into space, or receiving the ball by the 18yd box with Trippier and Bruno in fairly close proximity, a quick interchange of passes and Almiron is behind for the pull back or clear for the shot. When Almiron receives the ball on the halfway line he hasn't the tools to beat the fullback + midfielder, so we pass around them. ASM would work best with a Trippier-level fullback + a creative number 8 in the same style as James Maddison. But that's north of £80m worth of talent to best utilise what is essentially an agent of chaos. Gordon should work within the team and system we've already got.

A lot of documents to shred?

Cleadon's very own Bonnie and Clyde

Sorry to hear that mate, awful news.

But I never got into Conspiracy Theories and that describes me to a T.

Oh I get why people at the top exploit the easily exploitable, but I want to get to the bottom of why people are so eager to believe this shit. Forget about Aliens and apocalypse cults. I'm talking about Pizzagate, and JFK Jr, and body doubles and all that.

I'd want to get to the bottom of the 'why'. Get a few of these people in a room and spend fucking hours getting to the bottom of it. I'd bet it's got fuck all to do with logic, reason or research, and everything to do with their own insecurities, disillusionment and an aversion to responsibility. The trouble is that the people who believe some of this shit don't want to discuss it beyond the regurgitation of the soundbites they've heard/read/watched in the process of 'doing their own research'. You seen the Good Liars? They go to Trump rallies and similar. The blank stares and aggression their pretty harmless questions are met with are works of art.

And of course you know just the jodhpur wearing hunting toffs to do it. You blue bloods are all the same.

I fucking can. They're all the same, these Rugby types. Bet he's got pink chinos and wears multiple polo shirts with each collar popped.

The shrine to Greta Thunberg in your portico tipped him off.

Most of them are bored Sunderland fans, sitting on their phones, and half of them are out of focus. I think Frank Reid might need to hang up the telephoto lens. Number 17 is a Pulitzer candidate, to be fair.

And because of partisan rivalry.

This is the most useless bullet point list I've ever seen.

They've massively missed a proper goal scorer. Bamford has never been fit, Raphinha hasn't been replaced, Rodrygo hasn't played much either, has he? But Marsch hasn't worked out how to get results regardless.

I expect he'll give ASM another chance against Bournemouth, and slowly introduce Gordon, as he has done with most of the new signings.

Is that Darts?

Don't start that shit again.

I'd play him off Wilson, a 4-2-3-1. With Gordon on the left we'll have plenty of defensive solidity and attacking threat too.

With Lampard they were all but down, Dyche has enough about him to give them a chance. Dyche has never managed a side with with this level of expectation, he's never got the kind of points return that they need, and I don't say this lightly, fuck Everton.

Mate of mine has the same agent as Idris Elba and has genuinely been pressuring them to see if Stringer Bell can sort him out with a couple via Mandy.

Dunno if it's been mentioned before but the Hip Hop documentary on BBC is unbelievably, shockingly good.

Got your jeans and shoes ready for the rest of the tournament?

Oh aye, they definitely seemed up for it. I just don't think they did anything in that game that they've not done in others. It just worked against an Arsenal team who were way off their game.

He'd be persuading them. "no, no pet, it's like a musical! You'll love it"