The Fish

We worked out that for the money we're spending on nursery we could send our little lad to the same private school as Wayne Rooney's kids.

Our fixed rate ends next year, so does our fixed energy rate. All the money we're going to 'save' by not paying for childcare will fucking disappear because of cunts being cunts.

Also, isn't it pretty well documented that Mitro is a childhood Newcastle fan? Aye, here, from a Fulham programme which took me all of 5 seconds to find online. “I joined Newcastle because from a young age I supported them. I don’t why, but they had black and white colours, the same colours as Partizan Belgrade." Mind you I have internet access at home, I don't need to go to the public library...

Oh really? Go on tell me more about it.

Just to be clear, I'm not against sausage and beans. just any kind of meat in a tin. On the broader topic, I've found the usual staples have had to be replaced because I can make different meals for less than the old stuff. Also made a fucking spreadsheet (of course I have), that helps plans a week's meal. Peppers come in packs of three, most recipes call for one, or two. I can use it to ensure we waste less food, waste less money. Me and the wife pull in a decent amount, it should be comfortable. But we genuinely have to be frugal with our plans. All because of the fucking Bullingdon boys having a pissing contest instead of governing. A pissing contest with the fate of the country on the line. When's the next General Election? 2025? Fuck me.

Even more difficult if he's into Parkrunning.

Sausages, plus Heinz beans is fine. Sausages in tin, be they surrounded by Heinz beans or no - that's entirely unacceptable.

A bloke, dying of thirst staggers through the Sahara desert then spots something through the haze. Hoping to find water, he walks towards the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. Skinny, kipper, bow, all the colours too. The guy gasped, "Water, water, Please, I'm dying, give me some water?" The old man replied, "I don't have any water, but I'll sell you a tie?" The guy wheezed, "Fuck off with your ties! I need water!" "OK, ok, don't buy a tie. Tell you what, about 10 miles that way, there's a hotel." The bloke thanked him and staggered off towards the promise of water. 6 hours later the guy came crawling back, "Help me, help me" "Couldn't you find the hotel?" The guy rasped, "I found it. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Newcastle to win is 4/7, Bournemouth to win is 11/2. There's a good chance.

Yeah, I know, statistics are for nerds, but hear me out. Bournemouth are fucking terrible. By almost every measure. The Neolithic stuff like points (19th), goals for (16th) and goals against (20th), but also the modern stuff like PPDA (20th), xG (20th), xGA (19th), ODC (18th). Only team in the bottom 6 to have scored fewer goals than you'd expect. Only Southampton have conceded more goals than you'd expect of them. No team allows more opposition passes per defensive action (tackles, challenges, pressure, etc.) Only Palace and Forrest allow more passes within 20yds of their goal, excluding crosses In the games against teams like us (high pressing) they've given up around 2 goals a game and, Leeds game aside, they've been due less than a goal a game.

If you want litter to blend in with the pitch, why don't you just make it look like litter?

You're on thin ice, mother fucker. Thin. Fucking. Ice. (Yes that is apposite)

FYP

FYP

What have they done with the one from Spanish City?

That's a big old plot of land, isn't it?

Hell, even Stockport County have a 'Fanzone' behind one of their stands. There's stuff for kids to do, a food outlet and a bar. It's not much, but when we went with two 3yr olds it was perfect to occupy them while the two grown ups got a pint down our throats. I'd imagine a proper Premier League standard Fan Zone would be great for families and tourists and the like. Bit of club history, small club shop, food outlets, bars, coffeeshop, some football-based activities for kids.

If you pedestrianised Strawberry Place at certain times, couldn't you have the best of both worlds? Also, I'm curious, how does the Metro Station impact construction works?

Is this your work Rosco? Cos if it isn't, then I'm sorry but it's absolutely the worst fucking thing I've heard. Worse than foxes fucking. If it is your work, then it is absolutely the worst fucking thing I've heard. Worse than foxes fucking. And I'm not sorry.

There is always, always, a tweet.

We've long since eliminated those bellends.

Because their ultimate desire is that we don't do as well as we could. They could still be wallowing in League 1, selling their best player to Stoke in January, but as long as we finished 2nd and didn't win a cup, they'd consider their season a success.