The Fish

I take your point, but that's less about those players' individual skillsets and more about the system. ASM drags players out of position, draws fouls, just by being himself. Wilson and Almiron are more reliant on Bruno and/or Trippier.

High, when he was playing regularly, he was top 10 in the league (I think). The trouble is, he hasn't been a real regular for quite some time and our style of play has changed dramatically, in that we have one beyond getting the ball to him regularly. I think we're playing high up the pitch which limits the benefit of his ability to beat 2 men, because there is often an entrenched defensive unit, whereas when we were ostensibly a counter attack side, were he to beat a couple of players he'd have a clear run at the 'keeper. I also think he hasn't been playing with anyone long enough to get used to their runs, movements and stuff like that. My focus here isn't tossing our effective style aside to accommodate a pretty mercurial winger. Our issue right now is creating and taking chances against an entrenched side, ASM is one of the few players in our side that does create chaos.

He is a difference maker to be honest. When he was a mainstay in the team he was leading it in terms of chances made, shot creating actions, for himself and others. He is undoubtedly phenomenal at taking on players, he's got a decent shot and is much better at laying on chances for others too. The issue isn't that he's not very good, the issue is that the way Howe has the rest of the team playing is very, very different to the way that ASM has been used to thriving in. That's not to say we have to rip up the style that's got us, like you say, 4th in the league and to a Cup Final. But there's definitely a way to add his very obvious strengths to the way we play. You mention Murphy there and for me I cannot see what benefit Murphy brings to the team beyond someone who is a willing presser. Murphy has poor delivery, poor finishing, wayward passing, and can't dribble past players with anything like the frequency of ASM. Gordon is much better at those things than Murphy, but his end product hasn't been great at Everton or in his brief time here.

Also think we've been forced into a few changes lately, changes that have disrupted any kind of rhythm. Not just Bruno, but Wilson getting a niggle, Willock going off, etc.

Yeah, Saint Maximin just isn't a defensively minded player. I don't mean he can't be arsed to do it, he's just not got the skills or mindset to do it well. Said it before, but nobody gets in a tizz when Dummett doesn't beat a couple of players, turn on a sixpence and drop a perfect cross onto the head of the striker. The trouble is that when the rest of the team are good at pressing, good at harassing an opponent, ASM's limitations are under a spotlight.

Well, Mrs Fish was saying they were looking into reducing the number of staff required per child. But I don't expect that's good for the kids, good for the remaining staff, or would precipitate cheaper childcare.

Was supposed to go to this game. Not devastated that I 'missed out' to be honest. Missing Bruno is certainly impacting the way we play, but everyone looks a little leggy, a little disjointed. Passing was atrocious all game, and Almiron's goal aside we never really clicked. Part of it has to be Bruno's absence, but there were so many unforced errors, wayward simple passes, and bad decisions. It can't just be because we're without 1 player. Perhaps the number of changes we've had to make in the past few games? Maybe players are distracted by the Cup Final?

He's not lazy, that's just not true. What he doesn't do, is press intelligently. The question is two-fold ow to get the best out of ASM in Bruno's absence, and how to do it when the king is back? Without Bruno we should play 4-2-3-1. ASM given more license to act as a pure outlet, rather than part of the pressing machine. We need to release the ball to him more often and earlier. The majority of our play goes through Trippier and because of that ASM is often isolated from the interplay. To get him on the ball more he either needs to play more centrally, or we need to play a lower block deeper line - inviting the opposition onto us more. Under Bruce he was the main outlet, every game the tactic was simple - get the ball to Allan. To get the best from him we need to at least bend that way a little more. Joelinton and Longstaff have the energy and pressing intelligence to more than make up from ASM's limitations in that regard. Play Gordon and Almiron on the flanks and you've got 4 players who will press for 90 minutes. Isak and ASM should move through the half spaces and into the channels. Joelinton and Longstaff haven't the vision to thread the needle so the responsibility falls to Isak and ASM to find pockets where a pass is both more obvious, and more achievable. When Bruno is back ASM should be employed to break through high and mid blocks, his ability to carry the ball at pace, commit defenders and disrupt shape isn't bettered by anyone else in the squad. With a low block, patience and control is a better tool and a tool that isn't really in ASM's bag.

No, I want to become best mates with Wazza, he looks like precisely the kind of bloke who'd really get a kick out of comic books, spreadsheets and English Tapas.

Cheers, I'll give it a listen. I remember seeing a chart showing the cost of childcare in England vs other European countries. It's both shocking and not at all surprising. Tories are all about people working, right? So make childcare affordable, then parents are more able to get back to work full time.

We worked out that for the money we're spending on nursery we could send our little lad to the same private school as Wayne Rooney's kids.

Our fixed rate ends next year, so does our fixed energy rate. All the money we're going to 'save' by not paying for childcare will fucking disappear because of cunts being cunts.

Also, isn't it pretty well documented that Mitro is a childhood Newcastle fan? Aye, here, from a Fulham programme which took me all of 5 seconds to find online. “I joined Newcastle because from a young age I supported them. I don’t why, but they had black and white colours, the same colours as Partizan Belgrade." Mind you I have internet access at home, I don't need to go to the public library...

Oh really? Go on tell me more about it.

Just to be clear, I'm not against sausage and beans. just any kind of meat in a tin. On the broader topic, I've found the usual staples have had to be replaced because I can make different meals for less than the old stuff. Also made a fucking spreadsheet (of course I have), that helps plans a week's meal. Peppers come in packs of three, most recipes call for one, or two. I can use it to ensure we waste less food, waste less money. Me and the wife pull in a decent amount, it should be comfortable. But we genuinely have to be frugal with our plans. All because of the fucking Bullingdon boys having a pissing contest instead of governing. A pissing contest with the fate of the country on the line. When's the next General Election? 2025? Fuck me.

Even more difficult if he's into Parkrunning.

Sausages, plus Heinz beans is fine. Sausages in tin, be they surrounded by Heinz beans or no - that's entirely unacceptable.

A bloke, dying of thirst staggers through the Sahara desert then spots something through the haze. Hoping to find water, he walks towards the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. Skinny, kipper, bow, all the colours too. The guy gasped, "Water, water, Please, I'm dying, give me some water?" The old man replied, "I don't have any water, but I'll sell you a tie?" The guy wheezed, "Fuck off with your ties! I need water!" "OK, ok, don't buy a tie. Tell you what, about 10 miles that way, there's a hotel." The bloke thanked him and staggered off towards the promise of water. 6 hours later the guy came crawling back, "Help me, help me" "Couldn't you find the hotel?" The guy rasped, "I found it. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Newcastle to win is 4/7, Bournemouth to win is 11/2. There's a good chance.

Yeah, I know, statistics are for nerds, but hear me out. Bournemouth are fucking terrible. By almost every measure. The Neolithic stuff like points (19th), goals for (16th) and goals against (20th), but also the modern stuff like PPDA (20th), xG (20th), xGA (19th), ODC (18th). Only team in the bottom 6 to have scored fewer goals than you'd expect. Only Southampton have conceded more goals than you'd expect of them. No team allows more opposition passes per defensive action (tackles, challenges, pressure, etc.) Only Palace and Forrest allow more passes within 20yds of their goal, excluding crosses In the games against teams like us (high pressing) they've given up around 2 goals a game and, Leeds game aside, they've been due less than a goal a game.

If you want litter to blend in with the pitch, why don't you just make it look like litter?

You're on thin ice, mother fucker. Thin. Fucking. Ice. (Yes that is apposite)