The Fish

This is the most useless bullet point list I've ever seen.

They've massively missed a proper goal scorer. Bamford has never been fit, Raphinha hasn't been replaced, Rodrygo hasn't played much either, has he? But Marsch hasn't worked out how to get results regardless.

I expect he'll give ASM another chance against Bournemouth, and slowly introduce Gordon, as he has done with most of the new signings.

Is that Darts?

Don't start that shit again.

I'd play him off Wilson, a 4-2-3-1. With Gordon on the left we'll have plenty of defensive solidity and attacking threat too.

With Lampard they were all but down, Dyche has enough about him to give them a chance. Dyche has never managed a side with with this level of expectation, he's never got the kind of points return that they need, and I don't say this lightly, fuck Everton.

Mate of mine has the same agent as Idris Elba and has genuinely been pressuring them to see if Stringer Bell can sort him out with a couple via Mandy.

Dunno if it's been mentioned before but the Hip Hop documentary on BBC is unbelievably, shockingly good.

Got your jeans and shoes ready for the rest of the tournament?

Oh aye, they definitely seemed up for it. I just don't think they did anything in that game that they've not done in others. It just worked against an Arsenal team who were way off their game.

He'd be persuading them. "no, no pet, it's like a musical! You'll love it"

MEGA FINE! POINTS DEDUCTION! EUROPEAN BAN! Appeal MEGA FINE! European Ban! Appeal MEGA FINE! Appeal Fine and apology. Appeal fine?

One gravelly swallow does not a summer make. They did get the ball into the box a lot more than they have recently, but Arsenal were terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible. Worst game for them in terms of good chances created (0.9) and permitted (1.7) since Leeds. That's despite having 70% possession, more than every fixture other than Fulham. They still kept the ball well, still created opportunities to score, but they just had one of those days where nothing came off. Everton attempted 298 passes, less than against everyone else bar Man City, and their completion rate was 67.8%, lowest of the season. Only once have they attempted and completed more Long Balls. Still pretty passive. They didn't perform much better than they have done under Lampard.

2/4 ain't bad

Miss, Miss, Lee's been copying my homework.

I love a moody French Winger, I think my record on that is manifest.. however, for this manager, in this team, with our current situation, we need to be starting Gordon in the next game. The way we're set up, the way we savage opponents with our intelligent pressing, it just doesn't work if the left side is not 100% on it. Saint-Maximin needs confidence, a run of games and to see a lot of the ball in those games and without Bruno on form and on fire in the middle, we don't create the right kind of possession to get the most out of ASM. Way better as an impact sub right now. But, when he is introduced as an impact sub, we have to actually use him to make an impact. Last few games he's come on with 25 minutes to go and not really impacted the game because we're not releasing the balls to the flank quickly enough. We're still looking to play it through the centre first then out wide, or trying to hit through balls for the central striker. Neither get the most out of him. He needs to receive the ball closer to the half way line, so he can commit defenders, drag them out of their shape and create opportunities with a pass, or for himself. Instead he's receiving the ball high up the pitch when the opponents are entrenched in their area. Honestly think we've been unfortunate that we've never really had a run of games with ASM, Bruno, Isak and Wilson all fit and available at the same time.

Gloom and Meenzer live South of the River. What advice are you hoping for other than "Don't try and get a cab across the river late at night?"

Equally important, I think I'm about to be in the money lads;

Check out Mr Grumpy here, how dairy.

A choice between Old Trafford in a normal league game, or the 'new' Wembley for the Pizza Hut trophy is no choice at all.

Go to the udder one then.

If she's old enough for a loan, she's too old for that lot.