The Fish

There's a thread on there about where they'll finish in the Premier League next year, most are predicting comfortable safety. Why do they do this to themselves every season?

You're shit.

Tried to shoehorn in a premature ejaculation joke, but no luck.

I like bad losers, shows they care. Much better than avuncular, "well y'know", praising the winners, roll up wuh sleeves horseshit.

Away from reliable data and using the eye test, I'd say we struggle to break through a low block deep line with and without Bruno, but the problem is exacerbated in his absence. It's tricky because while there are certain teams who play a specific style regardless of opposition there are plenty who'd change their style depending on their opponents. And when it's pretty obvious that we struggle to breakdown an entrenched defence, that's true of every team, really. Even Arsenal and Man City have found it difficult to unpick a stubborn defence, and they have an array of world class talents, where we do not. It's not as easy as pulling the press back a bit, teams wouldn't necessarily venture out and the efficacy of our press would be lessened as the opponents would have more space to play around the press with balls across their back line. When we press high we're trying to force them into trying long balls or passing/dribbling through the press. Personally I think we need to be quicker on the ball when we win it back. Get the ball to Isak or ASM while they're still resetting into their defensive position. For that you need a technician, someone with vision and alacrity of thought. Bruno, Shelvey, Maddison have those attributes. Longstaff, Joelinton and WIllock do not.

Settle something for me; Wife works in HR, shes just been asked if it's ok for the CEO to say in his speech to a senior director who's leaving the following "XXX often says that she likes her coffee like she likes her men; hot, black and throbbing" Now, bad writing aside, Mrs Fish thinks it should be ok if you change 'black' to 'dark'. My contention is 'black' isn't the problem, it's the "Throbbing". 'Hot, black and strong' is a fairly commonplace innuendo. 'Hot black and throbbing' is not innuendo, it's very clearly about a penis. Because penises can throb, coffee doesn't throb. Ever.

I don't shut up, ever. I never stop talking and I'm usually talking about football. In all my days talking about football with fans of other clubs, not once have those oddities ever come up in conversation. There've been fans of clubs who hate Newcastle, those that don't care and those that have a soft spot for us. They've never pivoted the conversation to talk about Sunderland, unless it's to say how funny that Netflix show was. If real life were anything like the fantasy that these fuckers create, I'd be having my eared chewed off by a Barcelona fan saying how much he respects the job Tony Mowbray is doing, or a Wimbledon fan saying how much he prefers Sunderland fans to us, or a Man Utd fan saying that the Poznan was just a lovely bit of banter from a classy bunch of lads. It doesn't happen though, because nobody else cares about them. To the wider football world, they're just another football club. Like Coventry, or Reading. They exist, and they get bums on seats for 70 minutes or so. When away fans have to follow their team into Mordor, they either stay 15 miles away in Newcastle or get the fuck out ASAP. When they get them in the cup it'll be shrugged off as another unglamorous tie. Their football is mediocre, their managers are uninspiring, their stadium is generic, their atmosphere is flat, their city is a shithole, their people are at best insular at worst bigoted. The only thing that raises any eyebrow of recognition is because of their link to us. The only light that reaches Sunderland is what's left over from the massive spotlight that's on Newcastle, like that faint corona that remains as the sun is obscured by the moon.

Telling that even in Renton's wildest imaginings, we barely scrape by Man Utd.

Mrs Wykiki booted him out after she caught him hate-wanking to that lass off the podcast.

Another draw, I think. We don't lose at home, the fans will be up for it because of the opposition, Liverpool will have one eye on Real Madrid 3 days later. 1-1

I'm not a Doctor, but I'm not sure that's the panacea you're after.

Especially this season where the quality of player we need is either at an underperforming side (Chelsea/Liverpool/Leicester) or for our contemporary rivals.

You can find the first five minutes of Up online as well, if you're really leaning into the Blue Monday thing.

Yeah, I'll be grand. Doing the right things, dropping the wrong things, talking to the right people, ignoring the wrong'uns.

Pressed play, his is the first voice you hear. Immediately paused it because I'm nowhere close to the right mental state to listen to it without being utterly destroyed.

Maybe if they rotated their squads/found a way to win that is less intensive on their players, the squads wouldn't feel so threadbare come the business end of the season? Maybe a little time wasting to slow the game and run down the clock? Maybe a touch of the dark arts to give your players a breather? Maybe making a full compliment of substitutes?

I think this part is key. Bruno aside we don't really have a visionary. Someone who sees three steps ahead, who pulls deeper to make space, who dinks a ball ahead of a blindside run. Almiron and ASM are both good at getting into the right positions either by beating a man or by making the run, but if nobody is finding them, what's the point? Maddison could have lessened the impact of Bruno's absence, so too could Shelvey. Neither are a like for like replacement, but both are more creative in their own way.

I take your point, but that's less about those players' individual skillsets and more about the system. ASM drags players out of position, draws fouls, just by being himself. Wilson and Almiron are more reliant on Bruno and/or Trippier.

High, when he was playing regularly, he was top 10 in the league (I think). The trouble is, he hasn't been a real regular for quite some time and our style of play has changed dramatically, in that we have one beyond getting the ball to him regularly. I think we're playing high up the pitch which limits the benefit of his ability to beat 2 men, because there is often an entrenched defensive unit, whereas when we were ostensibly a counter attack side, were he to beat a couple of players he'd have a clear run at the 'keeper. I also think he hasn't been playing with anyone long enough to get used to their runs, movements and stuff like that. My focus here isn't tossing our effective style aside to accommodate a pretty mercurial winger. Our issue right now is creating and taking chances against an entrenched side, ASM is one of the few players in our side that does create chaos.

He is a difference maker to be honest. When he was a mainstay in the team he was leading it in terms of chances made, shot creating actions, for himself and others. He is undoubtedly phenomenal at taking on players, he's got a decent shot and is much better at laying on chances for others too. The issue isn't that he's not very good, the issue is that the way Howe has the rest of the team playing is very, very different to the way that ASM has been used to thriving in. That's not to say we have to rip up the style that's got us, like you say, 4th in the league and to a Cup Final. But there's definitely a way to add his very obvious strengths to the way we play. You mention Murphy there and for me I cannot see what benefit Murphy brings to the team beyond someone who is a willing presser. Murphy has poor delivery, poor finishing, wayward passing, and can't dribble past players with anything like the frequency of ASM. Gordon is much better at those things than Murphy, but his end product hasn't been great at Everton or in his brief time here.

Also think we've been forced into a few changes lately, changes that have disrupted any kind of rhythm. Not just Bruno, but Wilson getting a niggle, Willock going off, etc.

Yeah, Saint Maximin just isn't a defensively minded player. I don't mean he can't be arsed to do it, he's just not got the skills or mindset to do it well. Said it before, but nobody gets in a tizz when Dummett doesn't beat a couple of players, turn on a sixpence and drop a perfect cross onto the head of the striker. The trouble is that when the rest of the team are good at pressing, good at harassing an opponent, ASM's limitations are under a spotlight.

Well, Mrs Fish was saying they were looking into reducing the number of staff required per child. But I don't expect that's good for the kids, good for the remaining staff, or would precipitate cheaper childcare.

Was supposed to go to this game. Not devastated that I 'missed out' to be honest. Missing Bruno is certainly impacting the way we play, but everyone looks a little leggy, a little disjointed. Passing was atrocious all game, and Almiron's goal aside we never really clicked. Part of it has to be Bruno's absence, but there were so many unforced errors, wayward simple passes, and bad decisions. It can't just be because we're without 1 player. Perhaps the number of changes we've had to make in the past few games? Maybe players are distracted by the Cup Final?