The Fish

Quirk of the fixture list that the teams in with a shout of the playoffs are all playing teams in the top half and, Luton aside, against sides with a tiny chance for the playoff spots themselves. Makes the final game of the regular season really interesting. Mid (74pts 4th) - Cov (69pts 5th) Mil (68pts 6th) - Bla (66pts 9th) Pre (63pts 11th) - Sun (66pts 7th) Swa (63pts 10th) - WBA (66pts 8th) Middlesbrough are good at home ut they've lost their last 2 games. Also Coventry are unbeaten on the road in the last 8 games. I'd not be surprised to see Coventry win. 72pts Millwall are strong at home, and Blackburn are terrible on the road, so you'd expect them to win. 71pts Preston can't get there because of their GD and they're in poor form. Preston are better on the road than they are at Deepdale this season, but they are unbeaten at home in the last 7. Sunderland have been decent on the road. I reckon Swansea will beat WBA as well Season for 3rd - 10th will end; Lut 82 Mid 74 Cov 72 Mil 71 Sun 69 WBA 66 Swa 66 Bla 66

Arsenal tossing it away, Villa's resurgence, Chelsea's collapse, Bournemouth clambering to safety, Leeds have been all over the shop. Mental season.

Wants to hope he's near sighted.

The defending was shit, but to focus on that would disrespect the control and alacrity of thought he has. Entirely with his right foot, dribbling on the very edge of the pitch like a tightrope walker. No pointless stepovers, and as has been said, he got to that point and his first thought was to pull it back, not try and cap it with a solo goal. £63m should buy you top tier talent, and it fucking has.

I think this is key. It's a dramatic increase and were we owned by some random hedge fund, nobody would bat an eye. I don't think this is the end of the new commercial deals. I think, importantly, it dances around the caltrops that the established elite have dropped behind them. And we'll still fucking smash them.

Personally think dates in a data set should be YYYYMMDD, so 20230428

They're down, Bournemouth saw to that I reckon The players and the crowd will smell blood, the players that Howe rested will want to start. Whichever striker starts will score, then his replacement will want to make his case for a start and score when he comes on. So we're 2 goals to the good already. Joelinton will get his, and I fancy a defender to get an outrageous one, for the Murphy memes. 4-0

I'm afraid you're gonna have to live a nomadic life during the season. Maybe tomorrow, you’ll want to settle down, Until tomorrow, you’ll just keep moving on.

I just used that predictor 25 times, selected no teams and let the calculator do it's thing. So all of the results were "forecast by the calculator based partly upon recent form, although note that there is also a random factor built in to simulate the unpredictable nature of our sport." We got CL in all of them, sometimes 4th, sometimes 3rd.

So you're saying even the stats nerds are saying there's a 13% chance we won't?

Premier League Calculator (thefishy.co.uk) There you go lads, punch in the results you expect and tell us what you come back with.

There's a good reason last night's game was labelled the title decider, despite their being 5 games and 15pts to go. Man City are 2points behind Arsenal, and theoretically, could lose every single game and Arsenal win theirs, meaning Arsenal finish up 17pts clear of the boys in blue. It's possible, but it's not fucking likely which is why last night was the called the title decider. It's theoretically possible that our form could absolutely collapse and the other teams could suddenly and miraculously turn into monsters, destroying all in their path. But it's not likely. The betting companies, the statisticians, the press and pundits all think that the most likely situation is that the teams in the top 4 stay there, and that the rest of the teams duke it out for the remaining European spots. But going off the maudlin scrawlings on piss-wet sheets of the last few pages, simply because the CL spot is not mathematically assured, we should expect calamity.

I've got no problem with you coming up with a sequence of increasingly unlikely situations that would see us miss out on Champions League football. I'm just suggesting that the improbably calamities that you predict for us can just as easily befall the other teams. What if Liverpool win every game, and Bruno and Schar miss the rest of the season, and Isak is abducted by Somali pirates, and Joelinton turns into a moss covered rock, and we get a points deduction for Schar being too handsome, and every other team gets a points bonus because they're all best friends with Sunderland and we're not.

Whatever result gives Spurs the right motivation to take points off Liverpool and silence the doommongers on here. Spurs coming back to draw would be good.

And an injury to Salah, or Van Dijk will do for them as well. Why is it more likely that our form will collapse and their's continue to dramatically improve? pussyhole

It's not entirely predictable, but some of you wet blankets are suggesting that Liverpool will suddenly win every fucking game. Despite them not showing anything like that kind of form beforehand. This 'mini-revival' consisted of Leeds, Forest and West Ham. And the West Ham and Forest games were not a marker they'd set down declaring that they're back. They could just as easily lose to Spurs and Brentford as beat them, in my opinion. Villa is certaily going to be a test for them. They're still pedestrian in midfield and suspect at the back.

Are they (we) paying for a hotel? The large multinational communications company I work for, refuse to pony up. Despite north of £22bn revenue. Fuckers

Wilson and Isak have both missed several games, so has ASM. CW & AI are hitting 0.7 and 0.93 goals per 90 minutes. If they'd been fully fit throughout, who the fuck knows where we'd be right now.

Yeah Bruno is amazing at the DM position, but stick someone of Rice's calibre in that role and Bruno can move further forward and replace Longstaff/Willock. I wouldn't be devastated if we didn't strengthen DM, but I think it's a position that the team would really benefit from strengthening. And, more importantly, I want Declan Rice.

If I was the lawyer, I'd be nervous about asking for payment in case the pervert tried to fuck the bill.

I know we've been playing well, and I know that Howe has improved all the squad to some degree, but there are many, many better footballers than Willock, and Longstaff at the very least. There's also a gaping hole in our squad for a proper, true blue, specialist defensive midfielder. Bruno, Joelinton, Willock and Longstaff are all front foot thinking midfielders. Sure they contribute defensively, but that's not what their focus is, or should be. I know I've been banging the drum for Rice and I know it's not likely, but that kind of player is what we need. You'd see the team able to control possession more with a metronomic player, Bruno would be able to play further up the pitch and involve himself more around the box. It would mean those players would not have such high demands put on them in terms of fitness. Which means we'd be able to sustain a higher level of energy longer and more frequently.

Say that again and I will tie you to a seaside bench and cover you in chips.

A 'Murphy' - Hitting the post when one on one was submitted to the naming committee, but recent events have made them reconsider it.