The Fish

I know we've been playing well, and I know that Howe has improved all the squad to some degree, but there are many, many better footballers than Willock, and Longstaff at the very least. There's also a gaping hole in our squad for a proper, true blue, specialist defensive midfielder. Bruno, Joelinton, Willock and Longstaff are all front foot thinking midfielders. Sure they contribute defensively, but that's not what their focus is, or should be. I know I've been banging the drum for Rice and I know it's not likely, but that kind of player is what we need. You'd see the team able to control possession more with a metronomic player, Bruno would be able to play further up the pitch and involve himself more around the box. It would mean those players would not have such high demands put on them in terms of fitness. Which means we'd be able to sustain a higher level of energy longer and more frequently.

Say that again and I will tie you to a seaside bench and cover you in chips.

A 'Murphy' - Hitting the post when one on one was submitted to the naming committee, but recent events have made them reconsider it.

Villa mate of mine said that the first half was ok, the second half they were shit and boring. He didn't like it when I suggested that's very on brand for Aston Villa.

He's interviewed on the Ben Foster podcast and they ask him which teammate he'd want to be on a quiz team with. Properly struggles to come up with an answer "Must have been a few dropped out of school early", "Not a lot of outside careers there" then lumps for Dan Burn because "he owns a Kindle" Good listen to be fair.

All the kids seem to be wearing the same shit, black on black on black. Mandem lookin like roadman innit blud. I live in fucking Cheshire, closest they're getting to the Drill scene is B&Q.

Careful, that fucking arsehole Clarky (?) will be back on to tell you how wonderful he is.

Trippier apparently shouting at the players when we're 2 or 3-0 up, basically saying "get into them, they're there for the taking".

About 100-1

If they signed Harry Kane, they wouldn't go another 5 season without a trophy, that's for fucking sure.

I dunno mate. He'll be attractive to other teams now, low(er) wages, proven at this level now, good pro and all that. Certainly more attractive than he was 12 months ago.

He's living his best life right now, isn't he? I don't think anyone expected him to make the bench after the takeover and here he is featuring in every league game and now getting some goals as well. You can see it on his face, every goal we score, every win we get. He must know his time here is limited, so he's just fucking enjoying himself. He's a Geordie boy, taking the piss.

You, sir, are fucking enigma. Manchester United are one of the biggest, richest clubs on the planet, they've got a decent manager and a plethora of talent. No, there's no guarantees in football, but they're more likely to win a trophy next season than most of the League.

If I was him I'd go to Manchester United. Break the record, win trophies, could be around the home fans without needing to move house. Would have to learnt he language though.

I can understand why so much focus has been on just how bad Spurs were in those first 20 minutes. They were utterly abject, that first 21 minutes was the worst performance I've seen from an opposition, I think. Not just their disorganisation, their impotence but they played with no intensity, no pashun. When Arsenal went 2-0 down to Southampton Zinchenko dragged them all into a huddle and basically bollocked them into a performance. Nobody on the Spurs team did anything but mutely and meekly look around for someone else to lead them. They all passed the buck, they all shirked responsibility, 20yr old kids, World class players, World Cup winners, experienced pros all of them bottled it. Remember when we were going down and Jamall Lascelles was furious with our performance against Everton in 2016? Where was that in this Spurs team? Sure there were some dirty tackles peppered throughout, but that wasn't anger, it was petulance. Most teams in the league could have beaten Spurs if they put on that shitshow, but few would have done it so ruthlessly, so brutally. 5-0 after 20 minutes, and it could have been more. Joe Willock skying one, Longstaff's going just past the post, Burn's goal-bound header blocked by his own player, Gordon lifts his shot an inch or two and it's in. It could have been much, much worse for them because it was us. Fans and players were up for it from the off. That atmosphere would have given any team pause, let alone one who clearly had no idea. Bruno ran the show even though he was targeted by the stroppy tackles, Joelinton was imperious, Willock and Isak were clearly both in the mood and Murphy, bless his heart was finally getting some reward for his tireless efforts so far. So, sure, most teams would have beaten Spurs that day, but few could have stopped that Newcastle United.

Yeah I get that, but I don't think we can say that an equal deal is 'fair market value'. It'll be a huge increase, no doubt, but it won't be the same as Spurs' deals.

Spurs have been in the top Four, 5 out of the last 10 seasons. Lowest they finished was 7th in that time. They've got an elite stadium. World class players. etcetera etcetera

I think that's a little optimistic.

It's not Haaland. He's amazing and a machine, but because he's a machine I don't trust him. One of these games his skin will slough off and he'll turn on the humans.

@Christmas Tree Don't you dare attempt this. This looks tasty AF and we all know that your swing at this will swap out the beef for a shoe or something.

Mam I want Bruno No!, We've got Bruno at home (the Bruno at home)

What the fuck did you say?!

And a commemorative march around the 20 minute mark.

Keep your filthy paws off of Wor Bruno. You get Bellingham and you'll be happy about it.