Ketsbaia

Because it's a 'trick'? Howay man Craig, it's advertised as misdirection. I don't think anyone genuinely believes he knows what lottery numbers are coming out on a weekly basis.

Trying to work out how he did it is really going to fuck me off until Friday.

Apparently his predictions have been leaked online. His other stunts sound canny too. On one of them he's going to show a piece of film which will render the viewer unable to get their arse of the settee and in another he's going to play and beat Manchester United all by himself. He's also going to give away money to a member of the audience in a game of roulette, which I imagine could be his 'winnings' from the Lotto.

I think you're underestimating the knowledge of a lot of people on here. It was a horrible, horrible tragedy and whoever done it - whether it was Saddam or the Iranian's should be locked up for a long time. I'm not going to say any more as I really don't think a game of Tragedy Top Trumps is very tasteful.

How can we forget Rob's wail? "DIANAAAAAAAA!!!"

Because it wasn't just Americans that died. Well not so much just Americans but probably not far off, either way it was indiscriminate murder and I'm in no way defending but contrary to popular belief it's not the worst thing in the world. What's going on in Afghanistan, Iraq and Darfur is in my opinion much much worse but nobody seems to give a toss. It's not just about the deaths or the buildings or the destruction that occured on that date though, it's about how the 9th November has shaped everything that has followed. From the wars in arid desert countries to the increasing curbs on our civil liberties at home, that handful of Muslims with box cutter knifes and a suicidal determination to inflict some pain on the West changed the world in the most catastrophic way.

The thing is when he was in charge and we were losing, a big part of it according to a majority of fans was "Hughton's not a manager, he hasn't got any motivational skills, Calderwood might as well be working in a distellery, Hughton couldn't motivate a reception class...", so when he finally gets some good results we can't have it both ways that this is by chance, when the time he's doing shit is partly due to his inexperience/lack of presence. And when we were losing under Shearer it was a chorus of "The players aren't interested", "Big Al is doing all he can", "He needs time to build his own side" etc.

I had a fucking bizarre dream last night and i'm going to try and chronicle it as best I can for future reference..... First off I was down the pub and there was a band on. I was quite enjoying myself but suddenly this fear washed over me - Was I meant to be in the band? I couldn't remember whether I was on lead guitar or not. I'd never met those playing before and i'm useless at the guitar but some things were said which made me believe I was meant to be up there rocking out. Eventually they took to the stage and I was sat in my seat at the very front of the stage frozen with fear. I was waiting for the lead singer (a middle aged black woman, looked a bit look Oona King) to ask me up on stage but she didn't. I relaxed a bit and enjoyed a few songs. They walked off stage at the end of their set and the landlord got on the microphone, announcing that the lass who plays Rosie Webster in Corrie would be dancing naked on a table in the middle of the bar for the rest of the night. Lo and behold there she was, kit off, dancing around provocatively. At one point she bent over and I got a cracking view of her bumhole and minge and I proudly announced to the lad sitting next to me at the bar that I had a 'hard on'. It was at that point I logged onto Facebook on my phone to tell everyone that one of the stars of the nations favourite soap opera was dancing naked in my local but it wouldn't let me on. I rang my lass so she could book me a taxi and I could come and meet her at the pub she was at. She told me she'd book one for midnight so I sat and had a few more bevvies. Midnight came and passed and no taxi had been seen so I rang my lass back and she informed me that she's actually booked it for 2am. Silly bint. Anyway, I asked the manager if we could have a lock in and he said if I could get two lads to stop playing pool then yes. I did and everyone cheered me as more rounds were bought. I, for that short moment, was a hero. 2am came as did the taxi. I jumped in and I was instantly transported to the bar of my lasses local gaff. We had a few more shandys before deciding to make our way home. This must not have went too well as we ended up somewhere in the middle of Washington, stalking the streets and dodging the feral children who were making trouble at such a daft time in the morning. We came to a house that a friend of ours owned and we spoke to them through the window. They gave us drinks of water and told us to go to the Galleries as it was Christmas. We did and we were surprised to find the In Shops open at God knows what time doing a roaring trade in Christmas tat with all sorts of scratters hanging around. We bought some stuff and caused some trouble, namely for the two Indian lads who owned a very small shop and were very annoyed that the backpack I suddenly acquired was knocking their shit over. I apologised and ran awaywith my lass. We leave and we're in Boston, USA. Now i've never been to Boston so i'm assuming it looks nothing like what it did in my dream. My lass decides to run off somewhere and all of a sudden my mate arrives. We jump in a car and start driving through the streets where I have a small prang with the vehicle in front. The car ahead drives off without stopping and my mate gets out (in the middle of a very busy street) to inspect the damage to my car. There is none. I'm over the moon and I drive on. Eventually I come to a round about and I pull out alongside no other than Martina Navritalova (sp?) and her gorgeous but inevitably lesbian redheaded daughter. She tells me she's playing a tennis tournament and I should come and watch so I follow them in my car. Eventually we pull up to a very steep, very high bridge made entirely out of metal. I clamber up it, in fear of my life and every so often she has to play a bizarre hyrbid of tennis. She plays up to the top but gets beat. She does this three times and I look down at the river far, far, far below wondering whether I should jump off or not because the Titanic is in the river and there are divers looking at the wreckage and after all, why should they have all the fun? I dont, my fear gets the best of me. I get down. The next thing I know i'm at home in my garage when I find a dog. This dog looks neglected and apparently it's from Boston and i'm very warey as I don't want to get attached to it but after much ribbing from my neighbour we take said dog and his dog for a walk together. I get annoyed as I feel myself getting attached to it and it runs off into another garage a few streets down. My neighbour consoles me. Then I wake up.

Horse shite tbh. My mate who works for O2 and someone off here (Jimbo, IIRC) have both told me that the white ones crack much easier.

I've never seen a spotty white crack dealer like. You've never been to Washington.

Where the fuck have you been when we've needed you?

Mystery players my arse. They're basically just trying to keep people watching.

I agree with Stevie. Everything there is pretty much spot on.

I thought Ranger was outstanding in all honestly. He didn't see much in the first half but the little he did he dealt with well. He had a few very good knock downs for Nolan and one offside with patently wasn't. Second half I fell in love with the lad. He was holding the ball up really well, dragging the defenders out of position and bringing the midfield into play. It's really difficult to judge players like Ranger/Chopra/Guy/Offiong etc. on their goal record in the reserves and youth team but the very early signs are that with a bit of experience Dutty Custard could really help us out of this league. Kudos to Guthrie, Enrique, Smith, Nolan and Raylor. All of which I thought gave a good account of themselves. Geremi and Barton were shit although i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

has the AIDS

A press conference would have been announced by now if there was any kind of useful news. I've never known any club hold a press conference when a change of ownership occurs.

What did you actually say to provoke this sort of reaction?

The dodgy PMs makes me seriously doubt his story.

Not at all. He was always going to use this match to rest certain players and give the young'uns a chance. Why play Xisco when he doesn't rate him?

PM if legit please.

Not according to Redheugh and after the abuse recieved ends up the best ITK since Akabusi... What's Redhugh predicted right? He's only got 50 posts so i had a gander... He was spot on like. I think these Americans are definitley the real deal and at the same time, definitley a put up job. ITK And that followed up his earlier opinion... Referring to the reported New York bid...16 days ago. Akabusi and Jimbo's TV are still the benchmark of nailed on news. He's posted everything of note on N-O because he got the piss taken out of him here. Apparently he works for one of the banks involved in the deal and he's predicted a handful of things which a day or two have been corroborated in the Ronny Gill. For example after the initial article yesterday he came out and said not to worry as Sheard isn't behind the takeover, he's simply introducing the two parties. Today that has been confirmed, complete with quotes from Sheard, by the Chronicle.

Ahhh, nearly time for Two Phones Burton

That's nice of them. I'd have fucking leathered you

Not everything, just that the Ronny Gill will be running an article that will reveal a bit more. Redheugh best be telling the truth as the fourth hand info i've heard that originally came from him is, how you say, pant wettingly promising.