Ketsbaia

If we sign Darren Bent my season ticket is getting sent back. I can do without watching Pardew try to play him as a number ten. Shit's bad enough.

Nee chance. The stewards threaten to chuck you out if you hang it on the netting above the seats.

They look good but I'm not sure he gives a shit. He's got our money.

Full scale boycotts and civil disobedience within the stadium are probably the only ways he would actually sit up and take any notice of the fans, even then I doubt he'd change tact or sell up.

Hit him hard with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign.

There's a Wee Phillie sex tape. I haven't seen it, but I've been assured it exists.

Ashley isn't invested in the club enough to really give a shit about bedsheet protests and walkouts. The only language he understands is money.

I go to watch the Heed and my Grandad is a lapsed Dundee fan, so those two I suppose. I keep an eye on St. Pauli's results but that's because I'm a football hipster and therefore a terrible, terrible arsehole.

Next season is my last. It's a chore watching us at the best of times, but it's going to be painful turning up every Saturday to support a shithouse Newcastle side managed by that slimy dodgepot knowing that the height of our ambition is midtable. Fuck that.

Likewise. Until they take the cups seriously they're not getting my cash for them.

Not invading half the globe and subjugating millions might've been a start, like. Shit like that tends to upset people.

They were accepting them in the first place?

I'd just like to confirm I was not involved in this, in spite of my reputation as a radgie bassa and resident of Washy.

I've put together a short survey regarding the use of Twitter amongst our players for my dissertation and would be absolutely cock in hand if as many of you as possible could take five minutes out to complete it. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/footballersandtwitter Thanks in advance.

You can keep him. Krul's an absolute monster and from what I saw of Forster last preseason I wasn't impressed. Mobility of a wardrobe and flaps like fuck whenever the ball comes it above eye level. Good shot stopper, but Krul is by far and away the more complete goalkeeper.