Ally

That's the dort of shit you get if you get home delivery as well I've heard. They say it's because people complain if you over fill the bags. It's actually because they're thick as pig shit. Aye you're right. I got home delivery yesterday and the bloke got in a massive flap because my jar of curry paste was loose in his box and not in a bag. I was like, 'just put it in with the bread i'm unpacking it in a second', but he was adamant I took it seperately and didn't mix up the bags.

Obviously not in the way someone like Ronaldo would, but look back to say the 1999-2003 when he was probably at his best and he used to take it down that byline with G.Nev loads.

Beckham's delivery is absolutely world class, but it really annoys me how he spends most of the game standing on the half way line crossing it from there. His legs have gone and he can't take it to the byline anymore like he used to for Man Utd, so he's limited to crossing from 40 yards or so. Works sometimes (see England against Estonia) but against a good team I think it makes his teams far too predictable and one-dimensional. Still better than anything we've got though, obviously.

I was in Tesco a while back on my own, had absolutely piles of food on the conveyor so I took up her offer of help with packing for the first ever time. Christ almighty, they couldn't have got a bigger mong to help me. I ended up with bags with, no word of a lie, 1 tin of beans in it. Absolutely ridiculous!

My hairline is disappearing rapidly, its so bizarre. A couple of years ago I had really thick hair, now its so thin you can see my scalp clearly even though its had about 4 weeks growth. On top of that i've got an Alan Shearer island developing at the front. I'm only 21 ffs.

He's a good player, but he's another of these midfielders who the media describe as 'box to box', in other words he's not good enough at either attacking or defending so he just saunters around doing both. See Parker, Jenas, Emre etc.

£8.5m? He's a canny player, not as bad as some make out (Skol!) but no-where near as good as some make out. I'd certainly sell him for that sort of money, thats a totally over-inflated price.

1. My exam was appaling. 2. Still pondering whether or not historians do purposely manipulate the past, as I didn't know 3 hours ago. 3. Forgetting about it soon though as i'm going on holiday in a matter of hours! 4. Need to pack. 5. Having tuna pasta bake for tea, lush-tastic.

Aye good point there Isegrim, you very rarely see Martins sprinting off the ball to get into the spaces. To be honest, if I knew nothing about him before we signed him i'd have never said he's one of the quickest players about, simply not seen him run much!

Martins is good, but that first touch (for now) will mean he'll never make it as a top player imo. You pass the ball to him and its instantly about a metre away from his foot, which gives the defender so much more time to make the tackle. He's only 22 though so that can surely be coached out of him, but if an offer came in of, say £15m i'd take it straight away. Mind you, 17 goals in a fucking terrible team is a canny return.

Good, Sibierski is shite. Did well in the first couple of months of the season, but after that Roeder (and a few simpletons) fell in love with him and thought he was some sort of great player. Players don't suddenly become good at 32. Seems a canny bloke and wish him luck for the future, but i'm glad we're moving on.

Good, Sibierski is shite. Did well in the first couple of months of the season, but after that Roeder (and a few simpletons) fell in love with him and thought he was some sort of great player. Players don't suddenly become good at 32. Seems a canny bloke and wish him luck for the future, but i'm glad we're moving on.

Yeh the Phonics will probably be touring, new album coming out and all that. Found out today that The Streets are supporting Muse at Wembley, superb.

1. I'm revising for my last ever Uni exam tomorrow. 2. I still don't know the purpose of history, so the exam will go badly. 3. As soon as I finish i'm off to Malaga for a week. 4. I'll miss my girlfriend (awwww) 5. Its forecast for heavy rain so it might be shit!

Neighbours is fucking rubbish tbh. Take today as a prime example. Carmella and Oliver are in the back of a van that blows up, yet she walks out with a little dirty mark on her top and a graze on her forehead.

I watch Neighbours at the minute because i've got nothing else to do, but i'm hardly going to cry when it gets taken off. When i'm back home we can't get Channel Five anyway unless watching on Sky, so not that arsed.

It was a bit of a dent to male pride at the time, and tbh most my mates don't know about it but it really doesn't bother me. Girlfriends aren't bothered either, really makes no difference to me. Been like that for, erm, about 3 years now and its just one of those things. Maybe its dampened by having a massive penis.

Well done mate, can I have your old job please?

Aye pipe down you idiot. As highlighted, I never presumed you could just drive through a tunnel. I'll look into it though, thanks for the helpful replies (ie not SSH).

Oh, I didn't know there were different ones. Just want to drive to France, whats the best way then?

Never been to France before so not a clue how the Tunnel works, but my girlfriend and I are going on a bit of a road trip in a couple of weeks. Whats the craic with it? Can we just turn up in the car and pay, similar to how you do at the Tyne Tunnel or do you have to book tickets? Is it expensive?

Eastenders is mint! Whats with the thread snobbery, its not as if theres never shite threads on here is it?

Its got to be Tre, what a fucking legend!

Really hope Dyer goes, bit disappointed to see Sibierski stay aswell tbh.

Absolutely must do. Only mongs like Roeder sell players and don't replace them (Bowyer and Boumsong come straight to mind)