BlueStar

Or the ever swave beckoning a woman over and saying "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with the rest of my body" To be honest, anyone who uses pre-prepared chat-up lines seriously (ie not in a post-modern iroic way )is a bit of a cockface. But then lasses who fall for them probably deserve said cockface, so it all works out OK.

Sid the Sexists was the best. "How, pet. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you, you knar, empty me nuts on yer tits and rub it in an that?"

To do the whole pouty, melodramatic and childish, done-one-thousand-times before "I'm leaving the forum!", makes you look like a prissy little madam. To come back on the next day makes you look like a hypocrite and an attention whore. To then announce it again makes you look like a Grade A dick nosed twat.

Here you go. By the way www.bugmenot.com is good for bypassing registration on sites like this.

When Blame Knocks on the Wrong Door My favorite bit Those damn earthlings! You can only blame Bush for that one - elliminating terrorism, one syllable at a time.

Excellent! - we still need much more work done though.

Like "I actually fancy your mate, but to be honest I'd give you a bit of a diddlin' if I can't get in her knickers"

To be honest, I think it's more of a defence mechanism to take the edge off the belting we're going to get. "Well I wanted us to get beat anyway, it'll be better in the long run"

Nerd fight! I'd love to see this confrontation in a pub. "Are you calling my phbBB based public internet football forum a poof?"

He's done the stereotypical "I am leaving the forum!" flourish, so I doubt you'll get a response.

I have to say, as soon as I saw we were trying to get Owen while sitting in the bottom 3 of the premiership I thought that we were in a perfect situation to start proclaiming ultimaitums.

"and has contract with the club coruñés to June of 2010, with a cancellation clause of 72 million euro. " I hope that's a bablefish error!

Right, so all the clubs have country protection, and can't be drawn against teams from the same country, except liverpool. How does that work, because clearly if they can be drawn against Chelsea then Chelsea don't have country protection either!

Why does this even deserve a thread?

We are in the bottom three because so we've been bad at football. The end of last season we were bad at football. Currently, I can't see anything which has happened that makes us think we will become better at football in the future.

But... why wouldn't he want to come and play for a manager like Souness, just as he's turning the club around?

Haha, those stupid idiots at Chelsea, don't they know that winning your first games is pointless? They're all like, "Yeah, we're in the top 3, that's bound not to change over the rest of the season". Yeah right! We all know that us, Sunderland and Wigan are going to go rocketing up the league. I mean, what, you think it's bound not to change? Bloody hell, the manic optomism is clutching at weirder and wilder straws all the time. Yes, it may well cahnge, but if we keep going down this road paved with shite it's not going to change too much for the better. On the mormon note, who needs beer when you've got 9 wives?

And today he said we had no points in the league.

Maybe he just means that the team is completly pointless and it's not that he forgot about the point we got against West Ham.

Graeme Souness was down but far from out as his pointless and goalless Newcastle prepare to go in against Manchester United at St James' Park on Sunday.

If your employee was shit at his job, would you pretend he wasn't and blame your customers?

Well, Newcastle haven't scored for 270 minutes of football, they have no strikers, no tactics, no morale, their manager is favorite to get the chop, the fans are restless, they can't put the ball past 10 man West Ham, they're currently occupying a relegation place alongside Wigan and the Mackems, and Man United have a team full of players who love scoring against the toon at the best of times. But on the other hand, Gary Neville felt a bit of a twinge in his leg during the in the Reds 6-0 rout of Champions league opposition, so I'm going to have to plump for a draw.

Pretending the manager is doing a good job and that the club is being run well when this is obviously not the case is extremely harmful to the club.

?

It was great when the Man U fans stayed perfectly silent throughout the semi, and even after the match looked like they'd just been relegated, while the toon fans shouted, cheered, roard, chanted and got behind the team for 90 minutes solid. The utterly spinless performance we put in must have been my imagination.