thats naive
not really. having tried to make up with my estranged mother and realised that she is not ready or able to for whatever reason then I would say that it is realistic.
To say that you should always try and work things out with someone while they are still alive assumes they are able to, want to, or both - that is naive.
but to say that it takes two to tango with regards to falling out, is naive.
you could be the nicest guy in the world, but if your dad/son is a cock you could go the rest of your life without them. They entirely to blame for the break down of relationships and equally at fault for the failure to bridge the gap.
and I at no point suggested that everyone should try to patch things up, I said in General it's a good idea to try to rebuild a damaged relationship. I had thought that the "In General" caveat would be enough to make this clear...
I see what you mean, what I am saying is that it may take one person to be a knobhead but it takes two to give up on the relationship, in the same way that it takes two to sort it out. I'm not suggesting anyone ought to be a saint in the face of repeated knobheadery.
Clearly the one who is negligent may have given up on the relationship years before the doting child, and it's only when we reach adulthood that we realise and give up ourselves.
For the record I agree with everything you said (apart from my naivety! ) What I am saying is a little different. Furthermore, to state the bleedin obvious, human relationships are absurdly complex and so generalisations are difficult, mine included.