Harry had rung us first. “Ah think as gunna marry this black lass” he’d said.
“Now hey mister Prince, who am I to stand in the way of true love, and she does look absolute filth, but you do know what the press’ll do don’t you?”
”I know Boss, I just have to try with this woman. I don’t know how to make it work”.
Barnes smiled. He knew exactly which page of the playbook to finger.
“You’ve called the right man. What you need to do is go to the press, tell anyone and everyone who will listen how wrong everyone else is. Make sure you sell your story. No harm in making some money off of your pain and suffering. Get as much input as possible from your lass, to make it authentic like.”
”and what do I do about the family”
”Leave them. You are your own man. Like me. Tell all your stories and they will one day welcome you back with open arms. Just like my Geordie family will. One day.” Barnes stared longingly out the dirty window, the old waiting game.
“Okay. So leave the royal family, tell the press my side of the story and move to the States”
“woah woah woah yooth. I didn’t say move to the States. You don’t want to do anything too extreme kidda. Ta ta for now. Bien chance.”.
Barnes clicked off, satisfied he’d resolved another tricky situation. Just then the moped finally appeared in his cul-de-sac. At last, his Taco Bell family meal for one was here. Life was still good he thought as he waded through ankle deep litter toward the door.
1 nil to the Geordie boys.
