Toonpack

Oh aye, nearly forgot Complete feline-eradication mission

A lifetime's ambitions summed up in two words. As for me: Become a consultant...something (toss up between anaesthetics and orthopaedics at the moment). Carry on with jiu jitsu, teach my own club (which I could be doing as soon as this time next year ) Travel if I get the chance - never been to Africa, Australiasia or South America. Hopefully live abroad at some point. Have a family, eventually. Run the London Marathon. Do a parachute jump. Stay in touch with my friends. Actually learn to play the guitar properly. See Newcastle win something. See England play cricket abroad - the West Indies would be ideal. Pay back my parents. Meet a hero of mine. Do things that might get me into trouble if I disclose them on here... Good list Here's my version of your list, but editted for me Become a consultant – done that but not the medical kind Carry on with jiu jitsu, - nope Travel if I get the chance - never been to Africa, Australiasia or South America. Hopefully live abroad at some point. - Agreed Have a family, eventually - Done that my lads are 20 and 23 and STILL at home !!!!!!!!!!!!! Run the London Marathon. – Fuck off I’m 49 Do a parachute jump. – Nope, paraglided from a 6,500ft mountain in Turkey and whilst the immediate thought was “let’s do it again” upon reflection nee chance Stay in touch with my friends. – Won’t happen I’m afraid, some you will, but not many Actually learn to play the guitar properly. – Still not happened for me See Newcastle win something. – Your having a laugh See England play cricket abroad – Sydney or MCG for me See the Packers play at Lambeau - Done it Pay back parents - you won't!! you're an offspring, it's your job to owe your parents money (bastards!!!! kids that is) Meet a hero of mine – Don’t!! you will invariably be disappointed.

tbh

Never cooked a cat tbh, too stringy and not much meat I reckon. Kitten skins'd make canny nice warm gloves mind

You're completely losing me now I'm afraid. And I'm not a vegetarian, everyone knows being a vegetarian makes you constantly fart. Just imagine being a veggy cat owner, you'd stink of fart and piss, all of the time, WOW!! must be hard getting a job as anything but a bus-driver I'm a vegetarian and I don't fart very often. My flatmate eats meat and farts all the time. Sweeping generalisations tbh. Bet your sweat smells like burnt brussel sprouts though How do you cook your Brussels sprouts? In slightly salted water until they smell like a vegetarian, then I know they're well done So how do you manage to burn them? Never managed to burn them myself. I would surmise you hoy them in the pan and forget about them, water boils away and then sprout carnage ensue's Bit like chip fires I guess

You're completely losing me now I'm afraid. And I'm not a vegetarian, everyone knows being a vegetarian makes you constantly fart. Just imagine being a veggy cat owner, you'd stink of fart and piss, all of the time, WOW!! must be hard getting a job as anything but a bus-driver I'm a vegetarian and I don't fart very often. My flatmate eats meat and farts all the time. Sweeping generalisations tbh. Bet your sweat smells like burnt brussel sprouts though How do you cook your Brussels sprouts? In slightly salted water until they smell like a vegetarian, then I know they're well done

You're completely losing me now I'm afraid. And I'm not a vegetarian, everyone knows being a vegetarian makes you constantly fart. Just imagine being a veggy cat owner, you'd stink of fart and piss, all of the time, WOW!! must be hard getting a job as anything but a bus-driver I'm a vegetarian and I don't fart very often. My flatmate eats meat and farts all the time. Sweeping generalisations tbh. Bet your sweat smells like burnt brussel sprouts though

You're completely losing me now I'm afraid. And I'm not a vegetarian, everyone knows being a vegetarian makes you constantly fart. Just imagine being a veggy cat owner, you'd stink of fart and piss, all of the time, WOW!! must be hard getting a job as anything but a bus-driver

People who own cats generally smell of piss Further proof of your complete fucking ignorance. So when one of your sadistic feline psychopaths (I assume you have several) brings you a dead bird, do you congratulate it ?? What's that got to do with your inane point about cat owners smelling of piss like? And in answer to your question - mine don't go out therefore they neither shit in your garden nor bring me dead things. I find that somewhat alarming, given how stinky catpiss/shit is!!!!!!!!!! Anyway surely that's cruel ??? Not letting them out so they can go on their natural killing/shitting sprees??

If it was up to me, with 9mm hollow-point You do realise that ownership and congratulation mean nowt to a cat? They're just top predators doing their thing. Can't see why you're so pissed with that. Are you a vegetarian by any chance? Few "top predators" kill for kicks when not hungry, or shit in my garden for that matter. Biggest exisiting threat to wild birds is the domestic cat, Bill Oddie said so, so it must be true. How do you know they kill for kicks? I wasn't even aware cats had emotions. Are you a feline neurobiologist? And who cares who shits in your garden? You pollute the planet everyday, I don't see anyone wanting to kill you. What makes you so arrogant that you think your garden is worth more than any living organism? As for your second eco-warrior point, my garden is worth significantly more to the planet as a feeding and breeding area for birds and plants than as a cat's toilet come killzone. Rudimentary biology proves that point moot Funny that, when I did my biology A level (when they were proper hard exams) catshit never appeared on the syllabus. That said, your contention woud be that catshit riddled soil and dead birds is better than fertile soil and living birds????

Ironic ain't it

Cheese on toast, good old Brittish Pizza Mighty fine with thinly sliced tomato under the cheese

If it was up to me, with 9mm hollow-point You do realise that ownership and congratulation mean nowt to a cat? They're just top predators doing their thing. Can't see why you're so pissed with that. Are you a vegetarian by any chance? Few "top predators" kill for kicks when not hungry, or shit in my garden for that matter. Biggest exisiting threat to wild birds is the domestic cat, Bill Oddie said so, so it must be true. How do you know they kill for kicks? I wasn't even aware cats had emotions. Are you a feline neurobiologist? And who cares who shits in your garden? You pollute the planet everyday, I don't see anyone wanting to kill you. What makes you so arrogant that you think your garden is worth more than any living organism? I care who or what shits in my garden thank you very much. I do not object to cat's from any form of garden-asthetics standpoint As for your second eco-warrior point, my garden is worth significantly more to the planet as a feeding and breeding area for birds and plants than as a cat's toilet come killzone. and Dr Ken, I've heard of the "proper cat" shit thing but it wouldn't have provoked so much annoyance as the killer-starfish with the "smelling of piss members of the board"

If it was up to me, with 9mm hollow-point You do realise that ownership and congratulation mean nowt to a cat? They're just top predators doing their thing. Can't see why you're so pissed with that. Are you a vegetarian by any chance? Few "top predators" kill for kicks when not hungry, or shit in my garden for that matter. Biggest exisiting threat to wild birds is the domestic cat, Bill Oddie said so, so it must be true.

If it was up to me, with 9mm hollow-point

People who own cats generally smell of piss Further proof of your complete fucking ignorance. So when one of your sadistic feline psychopaths (I assume you have several) brings you a dead bird, do you congratulate it ??

People who own cats generally smell of piss

Pest control actually, if you had mice in your house you'd put poison down wouldn't you? No difference IMO I happen to like having wild birds in my garden (nowt like a pair of tits on your nuts), so keepng uninvited psychotic killers out is more like wildlife preservation. P.S. I'm not a yank Poisoning a cat is a criminal offence. But no-one's putting "poison" down so it's not really a factor Killing a cat is a criminal offence. In the starfish scenario, who killed the cat ? no-one makes it enter a non-cat garden and no-one force feeds it. Matters not a jot where it happens. And good luck trying to think of another plausible excuse for chopping up starfish and spreading it around your garden, other than pre-mediated felinicide. Compost

Pest control actually, if you had mice in your house you'd put poison down wouldn't you? No difference IMO I happen to like having wild birds in my garden (nowt like a pair of tits on your nuts), so keepng uninvited psychotic killers out is more like wildlife preservation. P.S. I'm not a yank Poisoning a cat is a criminal offence. But no-one's putting "poison" down so it's not really a factor Killing a cat is a criminal offence. In the starfish scenario, who killed the cat ? no-one makes it enter a non-cat garden and no-one force feeds it.

Pest control actually, if you had mice in your house you'd put poison down wouldn't you? No difference IMO I happen to like having wild birds in my garden (nowt like a pair of tits on your nuts), so keepng uninvited psychotic killers out is more like wildlife preservation. P.S. I'm not a yank Poisoning a cat is a criminal offence. But no-one's putting "poison" down so it's not really a factor

Pest control actually, if you had mice in your house you'd put poison down wouldn't you? No difference IMO I happen to like having wild birds in my garden (nowt like a pair of tits on your nuts), so keepng uninvited psychotic killers out is more like wildlife preservation. P.S. I'm not a yank

Vermin? Don't be daft, they eat the vermin. Don't be daft they eat Whiskas They shit in your garden and you can't keep the fuckers out, they indiscriminately kill birds for pleaasure, they don't need the food as they're stuffed with whiskas, fucking vermin. Hate the fuckers with a passion. I have been recommend bits of starfish in the garden, smells like fish to the bastards and is irresistable, but unfortunately for mr pussy-vermin, it's poisonous as fuck Alternatively a piece of sponge soaked in sardine, pilchard or some other such fishy-juice is supposed to do the same job via expansion as opposed to poison. Of course if Mr Tibbles stays out of where he is not wanted he will be fine

No matter how you "cutie" up a picture, cats are vermin. end of !!

The Avenue, Whitley Bay under age heaven when I was a whippersnapper (was shite when I hit 18 though, full of fucking kids!!!!) The Mayfair (if you can count it as a boozer) Farmers is probably my most lamented ex-watering hole

I bought a £500 electric plug, do I win ??? (and it was the cheap one) (It's a power regulator for my cinema/sound gear, a glorified surge protector really)