Brock Manson

Guthrie's been pretty injury-prone. Think he's a bit of a nit off the field, which hasn't helped. Wish we'd held onto him though as he was capable of playing some killer passes. Not quite a starting PL player though but he could still be one if he wants to be.

He's a great player, but in the position Pards plays him, he's shite.

Shame he can't save penalties for us.

Don't worry, Pardew would soon deal with that pesky confidence.

I want to taste the citrus, not garlic!

If you want to go a bit more middle-eastern, I've got a great veggie special on at the moment: Cous cous made with veg stock, sultanas and lemon juice. Cram it in a teacup then place it upside-down on a plate and it'll come out in a mound. Roast some cubed sweet potato and butternet squash, scatter it around the cous cous. Whisk equal parts lemon juice, orange juice and honey and drizzle this over the dish. (I then whirl it around the plate.) Top with a handful of rocket, drizzle over a bit more of the sauce.

CT is the King of Peking.

A player like Eriksen would thrive under Pardew.

Babymetal - Babymetal

We may finally play Santon is his favoured position. He might flourish so we can sell him in January.

Ban the whole bloody team of bitter twats.

Trollin' trollin' trollin', trollin' trollin' trollin' rawhide.

Flash in the pan PL player if there ever was one.

We accuse the club of not signing enough players, regardless of their fucking nationality you fucking patsy.

Bit down so had the meatiest of pizzas. Bacon, beef steak, ham and black pudding with plenty BBQ sauce. Feeling like a fat bastard but a happier one.

Am I right in saying that those are 3 strikers who have played less than 10 premiership games between them? Given our manager's reluctance to give youth players a go, I see us re-signing Shola and sticking him up top on his own.

Chef. Great film. I cried twice.

Are Tilda owned by Premier Foods? Fortnight ago I had one of their pasta 'n' sauce and it was gritty - got in touch with a batch number and they sent an apology and a voucher. Not Asda's fault in your case, it's down to Tilda and their QA dept. EHO state that rice only gets stored for 24 hours once cooked before we have to throw it away, so I'm wary as to how ready-cooked rice is being prepared and packaged.

Staggering he was given a hero's welcome back home. He's comfortably their best player and he's fucked their chances by biting an opponent and getting himself banned from football for months. The shite Beckham got for kicking out at Simeone!

Is that mould?

It's us; of course he'll start. He'll score too, the gnashing racist prick.

Happy Birthday!

I was jovially referring to playing our naturally-offense-minded right back in a defensive role. Can't have any player who might push us into a european place and endanger the next season's chances of survival. They'll get a decent bid for him and he'll be off a few games into the season - then we'll get the 'we couldn't get a deal done in time' spiel.

Le Pardewed.

Get to Ybor city - you can ride the tram out of Tampa there (it's not a city like we'd know it) and go see a load of cigar shops, tattoo parlours and a pretty decent ice cream cafe.