Billy Whitehurst

I could only think of Michael Owen. I place more stock in Anne Frank’s opinions on drum kits than I do Michael Owen’s opinions on football (and denim).

They do say dolphins are intelligent creatures.

You have to admire the bloke for sticking to his guns given how easy it is to prove him wrong. Barefaced Billy Bullshitting is a dying art these days thanks to those bastards at Google. Fair play to him for giving it a go.

Don’t ruin your Friday evening lads, not worth it.

It was absolutely dreadful and it was fucking freezing as well. I just remember Allardyce strolling past at the end trying to milk the applause (as though he had just overseen a tactical masterclass) and getting dog’s abuse.

I moved to Fulham last year. I’d get booking pubs now as it is nigh on impossible to get a pint round here on a Saturday nowadays. I’d invite you round to mine but I don’t want you highly trained idiots ruining my new astroturf!

Weren’t you bragging about your sports car the other day?

We got it last summer. Pretty much zero maintenance plus it tends to have a foam underlay that makes it very comfortable and helps it drain away rain pretty much immediately. If you get the decent stuff then it looks good all year round and you don’t have to worry about cutting it/maintaining it/weeding etc. Ideal for a lazy bastard who can’t be fucked with gardening.

It gives young people hope that the end is in sight while reminding us middle aged bastards that socially distancing, and being locked down, isn’t so bad after all.

Cheers lads! You’ve all convinced that it’s perfectly fine to go for a few pints tonight so I thank for that.

I had Moderna earlier today. Did anyone get any side effects from Moderna/Pfizer?

There should be a sub category ‘Without Michael Owen’ just like when the bookies give odds on highest league finish ‘Without Celtic/Rangers’.

Laurence Fox is polling the same as a candidate called Count Binface in the London mayoral election. £5m spent on his campaign and he is polling the same as a bloke with a bin on his head.

One of the highlights about this is how much people have ripped the piss out of Spurs. They finally thought they had made it but they well and truly fucked it, once again. They’re not even going to get the JPM loan to pay Mourinho’s compo. Here’s hoping they get humped in the milk cup final on Sunday just to round off a memorable week.

Can we all just agree that any sport that is a closed shop, and has teams called Miami Dolphins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St.Louis Sex Pests, and Washington Foreskins is a fucking stupid sport and get on with discussing what used to be a proper sport?

You lot don’t know you’re born. £1,800 per month for full time nursery where I am, utter madness and still another two and a half years before my youngest starts school.

I’m not sure what you’re trying achieve with this post other than being a total fucking arsehole?

Shit man, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please don’t let that haunt you, you did everything you could.

It blows my mind that Elizabeth II is head of state of Australia, New Zealand, Canada and half of the Caribbean. Have some self respect and get her to fuck. It annoys me that we still have her as head of state but at least she lives here.

So, I assume I was right to give El Gashico a miss?

The middle one is Timothy Spall. Judging on how accurate the others are, I’d say the bottom on is Ronnie Corbett.

Amen to that. I love the ‘human connection’ point, that’s Keegan all over.

Why would any clothing brand want that boring cunt as their ambassador? The clobber looks snidey as fuck.

If we’re doing predictions. We won’t score, Leeds will, Shelvey and Hendrick will be absolutely lifting. Will I fuck be watching that shite.

Best thread title so far. They should put that on the gates of St James’ Park.