Gemmill

You lads need to stride into SJP on Monday with a flip chart and get this revelatory lecture delivered to Mitchell and Co.

We all know why they didn't do that though, don't we. Because we thought we were getting Guehi and there wasn't £40m spare for Elanga. Or are we also taking Mitchell to task for not inventing time travel during the last week of the window too?

£150 for standing tickets for Oasis.

You know why they didn't though, don't you? Before posting this stuff, picture yourself standing in front of Howe and Mitchell going "Come on guys, why didn't you get someone on a loan with an obligation to buy deal? Why didn't you bid for Elanga last week?! Why couldn't YOU think of all this great stuff I'm coming up with?!" Imagine the look on both of their faces. And then don't post it. He's had a fucking stinker man. I've said. But it won't be for lack of trying. I'm gonna at least suppose that the bloke knows what he's doing and has been trying everything he can to bring our targets in.

We probably did. Or none of our targets were available on this sort of deal. I doubt anybody workshopping ideas on here is coming up with things that the actual DoF hasn't thought of.

Nah, it doesn't. The buying clubs know they're trying to pick up bargains off PSR fucked clubs. Maximum point of leverage is the last day of the "PSR window". They deserve credit for sorting it and they deserve the opposite for everything that's happened since.

Nah, the "PSR scramble" was well handled imo. They got rid of two fringe players and cleared £60m of PSR profit. The fact it happened on the final day is neither here nor there for that. We got the business done that needed done and we didn't lose any of our big players.

Mitchell hasn't just become a bad DoF overnight, I'm sure. We'll see though.

This looks shite cos of the Ashworth/Staveley thing too. Successive very professionally run windows, where we had our business done before deadline day, and now this. The fact Ashworth wasn't involved in our best window since the takeover won't matter to the narrative. We've gone from looking like a proper outfit to looking a bit shite following Ashworth and Staveley's departures. I'm not suggesting we're fucked without these two or anything. I'm just saying we're gonna be hearing some "what's going wrong at Newcastle?" stuff.

I'm now firmly of the opinion that Mitchell has had a stinker here. I'm not saying he's a bad DoF, or that the task he's been set isn't really hard, but moves like this Elanga thing shows we're basically flailing now, and that's pretty embarrassing to have got ourselves in this position hours before the window shuts. Parrish has probably strung us along - hurting us helps his team - but that's his prerogative and arguably his job. I don't think we'll be shopping at Crystal Palace again for a long time.

He started the game against us didn't he? Bit much to think Forest would sell us their first choice RW with hours of the window to go.

Hope says it's thought to be too late in the day to make the deal happen. So there you can all have a good cry about Hope again.

I love that she wasted her questions on that poundshop Columbo act.

That's not how it works. If we have a £60m hole, we need to sell those players at a profit of £60m. So if they're all on the books at a value of £20m, we need to get £80m in transfer fees for them. It's not possible.

The only thing I'll touch on in all that is selling to Saudi clubs for inflated fees. They'll get investigated and we'll still get the points deduction for inflating the fees. That's what would end up happening there. And that completely ignores the fact that you can't force any player to move his wife, kids, and life to Saudi Arabia cos you've got yourself in a PSR pickle. It also ignores that other clubs were selling stars or fading stars. Known names. You're giving me Matt Targett.

Mate. I'm not gonna get into this again. We needed £60m of PSR profit and you could sell the entire list you provided and not make that. It's profit. It's not transfer fees.

That's IF we've focused on Guehi to the exclusion of anyone else. As @Polarboypointed out, Howe has said we didn't. I do wonder though whether we watched other players that we liked go to other clubs because we thought we were gonna get Guehi.

Yes. I've said. If we don't sign anyone today then focusing on Guehi to the exclusion of anyone else has been a mistake. And Mitchell has had a personal fucking stinker as his first transfer window.

And I've said as much. But KD came into the thread saying that the outgoings have been as farcical as the incomings. And then complained that we weren't matching Brighton and West Ham, both of whom have sold players for £100m+ in recent windows. And then complained that I wasn't just letting him get away with it.

It forced us to sell those two players and it's stopped us from "pumping investment" like other clubs around us cos we have different PSR losses. I'm not happy that we haven't signed anyone, and I'm not making excuses for it, but do we have to go back and relitigate the unavoidable PSR sales. Next season we should just take a points deduction and people can moan about why no one at the club did anything about it. PSR is the source of all of our frustration. It's what meant that we didn't sign a RW while we were focused on Guehi cos there was only money for one. The focus on Guehi and Guehi only is for someone at the club to explain, but the rest is a function of PSR.

Fine. Wallow in misery about things that you know perfectly well had to happen to avoid a points deduction. I'm sorry for having to be sensible and point this out FOR THE HUNDREDTH FUCKING TIME.

I wonder if they've got different accumulated PSR losses to us. It couldn't be that, could it?

It's like living on a dementia ward, this.

If PSR didn't exist you'd be spot on. But it does, so you're not.

He likes Munchen. Munchen FOOF amirite!? *we're all high fiving*