Gemmill

Like a Maxi stepover, you're fooling NOBODY!

He was on about him talking about Atsu, you fucking headless CHOOK!

Tit sweat is the SILENT KILLER.

Is that your personal match clock on the left hand side, Sir Alex?

"It was a great guys"

tbf Azpilicueta was spazzed out on the deck for a good 10 minutes after that Southampton lad Escape To Victoried his entire face.

Here we go again lads. It's 5pm on a Saturday on Sky sports. It must be Toon Army o clock. 🎙️YOU'LL NEVER STOP THIS FLAME! I WILL NEVER LEEET YOU GOOOOO! 🎙️

As long as they were playing flowing, one touch football, and every player looked worth £10m, they won't mind that at all. Results are secondary, made up intangibles are what football is really about.

Southampton have appointed half of A Night At The Roxbury as interim manager.

Spunksplosion in North London as Forest equalise against Man City.

Southampton player just went for an overhead kick and fully volleyed Azpilicueta in the face. Looks canny bad, lots of concerned players calling medical teams on.

Anderson in for Willock. Big game for him.

He's at it again!

What about if they get someone doing the Bruce Forsyth thing where you lift your arms for applause and drop them for silence.

First time I've seen something like this and thought "Aye fuck off lads". Am I turning into my mam?

FUCK OFF MATE.

Let's hope it's the last time those dickheads will be cheering today.

Just done a minute applause at Goodison.

Wonder if it'll be observed at the match today. Minute silence or applause or anything.

That is simply a factual flag. A flagtual.

I've turned it on now after feeling attacked earlier.

Twitter is absolutely fucked like. The app just stopped working for me, so the only time I go on is direct from my phone browser. Which is a shite experience. For a supposed genius, the bloke is a fucking moron.

My phone has face recognition on, cheeky cunt, I just choose not to use it.

Didn't know that.

Authy is dead easy to set up if yous can be arsed. Gives you a six digit code which expires after 30 seconds. It's just an app on your phone that you use your fingerprint to access.