Gemmill

Absolutely made up for Burn. It's a class story.

Aye. What a helmet there.

Get in! Class finish.

We're fucking class. If we had some proper clinical lads in front of goal, we'd be out of sight by now.

Good luck mate. That's shite news but hopefully you can slow the progression right down by getting off the smokes. Was it you saying you're basically incapable of putting weight on - we might be about to put that to the ultimate test.

Miggy pretending he hurt himself cos he airshot the cross.

Lads, is Tielemans' hair slicked back or brushed forwards? It's fucking impossible to tell. I don't think I can have him signing for us unless this gets cleared up.

Perez is an absolute fanny.

Well we've got a reaction after the weekend anyway.

Am I witnessing a grooming?

Schar fucking loves getting nutted.

Here we go again. The mongs on the end of crosses.

Rage first. Ask questions later. THAT'S.... the Yorkshire way.

I reckon he'd make a decent metro inspector Luke. Shall I see if I can get him an application form?

You're fucking right. I took 7 tablets over 8 days. I was tempted to get the litmus paper out to check my turds at one point, they must have been pure alkali.

Oof this has got me reaching for the Nexium.

I've signed it Britain's Sexiest Cricket Fan, in case that matters.

No idea if it makes any difference but I use a VPN. If they turn up here they'll be getting the "GET BACK YA BASTARD" treatment from the Ring doorbell.

Whatever, Milko!

remember when Des Barnes on Neighbours had a trainer called Arnie. That's how I see this going.

Obviously you're not starting with 5k on C25k so don't worry about that for now. Just get out there and get started. Or to put it another way, get your trainers on cuntface.

Get yourself down to the beach, podcast in your lugs, and start plodding. Do the couch to 5k as Meenzer has suggested. And honesty, anything is better than nothing. You don't need to have any lofty goals. If you get to a point where you're running 5k, 3 times a week (which will happen in no time), you've chinned it. You could easily go up from that to do something longer on a weekend, or you could just stick with that and it'll do you the world of good. Trainers on, cuntface. Hop to it.

"To RobinRobin!"

Aye Severance is fucking class. The S1 finale is some of the best telly going.

Come on Arsenal you fucking divs. Win and keep those fixtures piling up.