Gemmill

Dad, I've got something I have to tell you. Do you want the good news or the bad news? Eh? Good news first? Or bad? Bit fucking busy training the lads here son, if you hadn't noticed... Good or bad? Fuck's sake. Bad. You're getting sacked, dad. They've appointed Gus Poyet. And the good news? I'm still your number one fan! Fuuuuck me. I should've called you One instead of Luke.

DO IT.

We can help them out but FYI Chelsea, we WILL be taking the piss on player valuations.

Genuinely sounds like a fucking CLASS night.

Can we arrange a welfare check for PaddockLad please. I think he might have had a fall.

That Keith's post reads like a fucking Jim'll Fix It letter. Hard to believe an actual adult wrote that.

Lads I haven't got time to wade through your SHITE puns. I'm doing spreadsheets. Let me know when we've signed someone, otherwise keep it zipped.

Only a great, great fool would say spreadsheets aren't fun.

My uncle was an alcoholic, which did for him in the end. But not before he borrowed a tricycle off a kid in the street, sat on it, pointed it down a hill and let Jesus take the wheel. Obviously with a kid's tricycle, there's no independence between the speed the wheels spin and the speed the pedals spin, so they were going like the fucking clappers. My uncle contrives to get his foot ahead of one of the pedals and gets too close for comfort and this thing slams down on his Achilles, trapping his ankle between the pedal and the ground. For the rest of his life he had a condition called drop foot where basically if he lifted his leg, he couldn't hold his foot out straight - the toes just by default pointed directly at the floor. He spent the rest of his life walking around like he was in a one man human dressage competition.

In terms of effort, he was at best 0.6 FTE. In terms of weight, he was 1.5.

No good football manager ever got threatened with having his house torched. I doubt it's ever happened to the bloke who got Bournemouth relegated.

Christian Politics are a minefield.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYJd75oL/ The official club tiktok account likes a bit of shithousery too.

Aye I spotted that two about Willock and Longstaff being on the wrong sides. The point about needing an upgrade at CB, I don't think it's that daft. We've basically got 3 CBs that can come in and play without any drop off in standard. And the third of those is currently our first choice LB....who is difficult to move atm cos of Targett's injury. So scratch the surface and it's Jamal o'clock: Lascelles and Lewis, and neither of them inspire any confidence. I know Manquillo can fill in at LB, but we need to quickly move past having people who can just fill in if we think we might be in the CL next year.

Tindall is more Vegas, I reckon.

Craig, offer to fix his Shift key and see if TBD will sort you out.

We were described as "staying in touch".

They're living in our heads rent free in *checks notes* POST 805 of today's Newcastle match thread.

You'll piss yourself if we do as well.

We keep getting lucky by conceding no goals whilst simultaneously scoring some. It's never been done before and it is blowing their minds.

Get in. Lloris is a serious weak link for Spurs now.

Arsenal win definitely.

Aye worried about Bruno. Hopefully he was just being totes emosh and we can get some ice on it and get him in the oxygen tent.