Gemmill

Throwback to that time when Question Time featured an appearance by @PaddockLad

Agree with Alex. Have never used one. Also you can injure yourself and your dog with them.

I think we would be more willing to pay a £100m asking price for Rice - he's a proven PL player, so you know exactly what you're getting. Way less likely that we sign someone for £100m from abroad. Having said that, we spent £63m on Isak which is getting up there. Having said all this, I think he'll have more trophy-ready options than us anyway, so I think it's academic.

It's quite interesting cos Wilson is clearly fizzing about scoring 2 in the week and getting rotated out at the weekend. There's a bit of urban chat though so I'd maybe do 10 minutes of meditation to settle your blood pressure before you stick it on.

Callum Wilson is enjoying himself on this week's footballer's football podcast. Starts proceedings off with a "Brace in your FACE motherfuckerrrrrr!" to Michail Antonio.

Raheem Sterling with a belated tribute to Coolio.

We got pretty close to signing him before, didn't we? We were looking at him at the same time as Ekitike, I think.

Looking forward to Fat Frank racking up his second loss tonight. This lot are a shitshow.

It's xG minus xGC (expected goals conceded). Which is just the xG equivalent of actual goal difference.

The Gloom family.

Exactly Dave. They're getting a fucking TOON ARMY knuckle sandwich for lunch on Saturday.

Goal creating actions per 90. Look who turns up in the top 10 alongside half of Man City's squad (who basically just have to bundle the ball anywhere near Haaland to appear in the top 10): He takes up the same spot if you sort by Shot Creating Actions per 90 too.

Spotted in the wild: Alexander Isak in Boots at Kingston Park. Getting some knob cream for when he's finished dry boning Villa this weekend.

Robertson could have come out after the match and said "I grabbed his arm, he pulled it away, it was an accident" And that could have been the end of it. I doubt this bloke can afford to be suspended or worse lose his job over it.

The expression on the mascot's face pretty much says it all.

Spoilers if you watch the TV show 6 months from now btw.

Mad finish. 96th minute penalty given away by Wrexham. Keeper saves it.

Wrexham v Notts County has been a mental one so far. 3-2 to Wrexham with 12 minutes to go. Top of the table clash with only a few games left to play.

"Hey Mikel. Jason be TANDALL over, know what I'm saying?!"

He pulled his arm away and caught the lad in the face. He didn't throw an elbow. Robertson is a pathetic little cunt for making such a big deal out of it.

Fucking hell that post is bad enough, but if you read it in their accent it takes you to an entirely new dimension of shitness.

Man City now bookie's favourites for the league. When you look at each of their run-ins, it's hard to disagree. This will absolutely kill Arsenal fans. I cannot wait.

You wipe your bum with your bare hand.