Gemmill

These graphics are worth clicking into. If for nothing else, then to see what a massive outlier our defence is.

You lads are Gentleman Jimming it. Me and Sir Keir are coming off the top rope with the people's elbow.

It's the world we live in.

Yep looks like Chrome is fixed.

Don't think you can cos it's android.

You should all be getting excited cos I'm gonna CONSUME the fbref website into Power BI and start pumping out some wonderful insights. Dave, if you want to join forces on a shared data model to SMOKE these uneducated fools, slide into my DMs and let's make this happen.

I touch them with MY MIND, baby.

How does Moussa Diaby compare? PATHETICALLY. 0.26 assists per 90. Ok, he has scored 8 goals though for a G+A per 90 of 0.62 vs Maxi's 0.54.

There you go stats fans. That's PL only.

Highest assists per 90 of any player at the club this season. More than twice the second placed player (Trippier). SO THAT'S INTERESTING.

Decent graphic from the Legomane twitter account showing an at a glance view of everyone's remaining fixtures. I think the colours are a fantasy league thing but still quite useful - West Ham look in real bother.

Decent mythbuster video.

It's a horrible attack ad, but you can't continue to fight by Queensbury rules while the other side does whatever the fuck they like.

Paul Merson missed his calling there.

He either wore a condom all shift or he had his period. Or both.

Lampard confirmed. I hope he somehow gets them up to 5th and they give him the job full time.

Hope things work out with your job, Meenzer. Job insecurity is absolute bollocks.

Credit to @Isegrim Although he loses some of that credit for inexplicably posting it in the Holidays 2023 thread in General Chat.

Whatever she looks like, you'll have to bite your tong.

You dialling in from New Zealand on Zoom, ipad sticking out of the neck of a training top with your face on it, running training sessions, stood on the touchline (propped up on a box) and handling media responsibilities (this time ipad sticking out the top of a shirt collar). I'm confident you'd pick up more points than an in-person Frank Lampard.

He's fucking hopeless. They've got decent players so they will inevitably pick up some results between now and the end of the season just based on that. I don't know why they're paying that fucking idiot for 10 games though, you could let the kit man do it and get the same results.

Just chopping this to a different thread so we don't ruin the match thread mojo. Brighton's form for their last 10 games is 1.9ppg. Their ppg for the full season to date is 1.7 so they're currently running hot. Ours is 1.8ppg. Our ppg for the full season to date is 1.9. If we allow Brighton to continue their current run for the remaining 11 games, they end the season on 67 points. For us to finish on 66 points, we'd have to drop to under 1.2ppg for the remainder of the season. A 37% drop in ppg. For reference, our worst return for a consecutive run of 10 games this season is 1.4ppg. And we've gone as high as 2.6ppg. So you'd have to believe we're about to have a sustained run of form that is worse than we've had all season (just as we appear to be coming into a great run of form), whilst Brighton continue on a run that is basically as good as they've managed all season for the last 11 games. For reference for Brighton, they've run as low as 1.1 for a consecutive run of 10 games this season. Their highest is 2.0. I invite you all to stop worrying about Brighton, and I invite CT to take off one of the pairs of Huggies Pull-Ups that he's wearing. I'll deal with Spurs in a separate post later.

Again, Henry comes to mind for me. That's the sort of composure that the really good ones just come ready-made with.

There's only really Spurs to worry about now for CL imo. Brighton look good but they're effectively 8 points behind us, albeit with a game in hand. Spurs are effectively 4 behind. Man United a point behind. I don't want to get too cocky cos things can change massively in the space of 3 to 4 games and there's 10/11 to go, but there's more chance of Spurs or Brighton knocking Man United out of the CL spots than of them knocking us out of them imo.

Coupon void.