Gemmill

We're massively underperforming our xG from corners and set pieces as per the above.

Enjoy. "What I say? Ben White. He's got him on toast blud!"

Aye. Unbelievable that. I feel like I should start the thread again in case that absolute shitshow has jinxed it.

Always looks like he's just been on a trolley dash through the club shop.

A Ty and Robbie duet. "De Zerbi is a nobody". Well he just fucking ended your title challenge and emptied your stadium, you weapon. Fair play to that Robbie for lecturing him about being humble

Charlotte wasn't on, you MISOGYNIST PIG.

Is a good way to look at it. I was listening to the much-derided TF podcast this morning and the youngest lad on there was was saying "we have to enjoy these games. At this stage of the season, usually the only thing we are playing for is survival. This time were guaranteed Europa League and have a massive shot at CL."

There's a chance they're a bit fatigued too. They've played 4 in the last 15 days, including the shoeing at Everton, 100 minutes vs Man United, and then that big effort at Arsenal. And they have to travel up here. Our last 4 games have come over the last 19 days.

Starmer talking about lowering the voting age to 16 and allowing EU nationals to vote.

I'm a bit worried about watching Dan Burn's head-tipped-back, silent movie style sprint against their runners on a break. But I don't know if a) Targett is the answer or b) we should fuck with the formula. I would definitely start Isak in the middle though. I think Howe will as well as he'll appreciate that we might need to change things if things don't go our way.

Don't worry about it lads. While you're all pointing fingers and looking for someone to blame (and watching child porn), I'll sort this shit out by guiding us through the last three games in the top 4.

Whatever Clarkson!

Whoa! I'm Wideopen's most wanted. Nothing to do with East Boldon over here, MR SYDNEY!

Is this the same Renton that spent the weekend in an argument with someone about how we didn't need to worry about Brighton ("is this the Brighton who just got hammered by Everton?" etc), and then discovered 35 games into the season that "Errr lads is anyone watching this Arsenal game? Turns out Brighton are fucking shit hot." Literally arguing Brighton are shit on Sunday morning and arguing they're fucking amazing on Sunday evening. Shut your entire face and let a REAL MAN who doesn't even know HOW to flip flop like that deal with this.

First match thread we've ever had with a paedophile ring operating in it. Unclear what effect this will have.

He's leaving for Barcelona, isn't he?

Ten Hag was asked about Diallo in the Man United press conference the other day and said that his future is at Old Trafford, so they'll be waving bye to him shortly.

A simple, straightforward, and most importantly, relaxing win. That's all I can envisage from this one.

The Arsenal livestream fan reaction compilations should be canny tomorrow.

Shit craic from their fans leaving in a huff after the season that team has put on for them.

Another one who can't answer my simple questions. Back to the corridors and the trolley with you.

Are Everton mathematically safe? Has any team 5th or below exceeded 66 points? Sounds like it might be shut the fuck up o'clock for you.

I just refuse to deal with these low point thread starters coming at the King.