Gemmill

New PB on this one. 4 years, 1 month, 13 days and counting.

A reasonable person. YOU NEED NOT APPLY.

You like looking up little boy's anuses. Received and understood.

Less of a miss than he would have been last season, which is a sign that we're turning into a proper football club.

Listen fuckface, I don't understand your Simpsons references because I don't watch cartoons.

That bitch had long since moved out. This was the house move us divorcees call THE DOWNSIZING.

That's Kenilworth Road.

I moved some of the plant pots from the garden. And when the smoking lass that was moving in turned up early and wanted to put something in the house, I carried that SHIRTLESS from the car for her.

Slightly higher profile transaction, PIGTAILS.

I don't know why Kane wouldn't just get on the plane. It increases the pressure on Levy not to be a bellend if he's actually in Munich, at his new club.

In the words of Tim Key, "Harry was gaping hard".

What a fucking prick that bloke is. The summer has been a nice break from my football hatreds, but I'm refreshed and ready to start calling that bizarrely-toothed cockend worse than shite every week.

Aye I've told my wife this is her Friday nights for the foreseeable. One hour episode, two hour debrief.

I used Sintons last time I moved. Wifey called Rukhsanah. She sorted out my move prior to that as well (don't get divorced if you don't like moving house). She's pretty good - good at getting back in touch and not ignoring you. It's all relative though, as Strawb says.

Not a great way to go into a season.

What a fucking prick he is.

I enjoy listening to Micah Richards piss himself laughing about Shearer and Lineker's trophy cabinets. This was funny as well: "How dare you come with that midfield?!"

It's decent. Shearer was saying he'd pay for a private jet for Kane to go to Bayern on it the other day. So he'll be thrilled about this.

OMG. Absolutely nailing it with a 2 day old tweet here. Ban, anyone?

I'd leave if I was him. Mainly to make it easier for Newcastle to get top 4. Come on Harry, do the right thing and fuck off.

They're stodge ensconcers.

Not a very buen dia for him.

I was probably SLAYING FANNY more like, D-Splash!

He must want to impress you.