Gemmill

Aye, I don't get it either. Not sure she's put a foot wrong.

Sunak proudly declaring that 95% of schools are safe, I don't think is quite the win that he was hoping for. Just the 5% at risk of collapse then Prime Minister? That's 1,100 schools BTW.

Wait til Billy Gilmour's balls drop and he's bringing his little scrote onto the pitchnin a Scotland babygro, feeding it Irn Bru from a Tommy Tippee. We won't be hearing any of this shit.

Between you and me Dave, he just likes to repeat OVER AND OVER AGAIN that someone from Scotland had a good game. And I'm absolutely fucking sick of it. He just needs to put his spray-on Scotland top on, have a posh wank, and leave our Copacabana hottie the fuck alone.

Marriage has changed PaddockLad. He was so lovely before it.

Send a message to the WAGs too.

This has been rumoured for a while, which makes it all the more insane that their initial plan was to stand by Greenwood.

You simply cannot be letting a Matilda start a match thread of this significance.

Classic scam artistry from your mate there, Craig. I'd report him. I'm a gigantic hermit, so I'll not be out on Friday though, sorry!

This feels like a HUGE misstep.

The baby stuff though. I just think he's massively enamoured with the club and the area, which is lovely, and he's obviously obsessed with his kid as well. I can forgive him it. If I find out he's been breast feeding him at half time, I'll have to have a rethink though. Joelinton needs those calories atm.

I honestly think he needs dropped, he hasn't looked right this season and no longer has the excuse of the ankle thing. It might be that Howe thinks that the only way to get him and Tonali to play together is by working on it in training and then putting them in match situations together. Which obviously fucks us when you get a set of opening fixtures like we've had. I'd drop him but I wouldn't be at all surprised if half an hour into the game we're all saying how much we miss him.

If this continues, I will knock your topknot clean off. Like a hipster slaying William Tell.

Guess which Toontastic member's twitter this is.

Is your NFC on?

You'd think he'd played the full 90 carrying his kid in a papoose.

Don't worry about them, they're down.

Somebody's woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

This goes back to what we were talking about during the window. We've bought Hall and Livramento because these were targets we had identified and deals came up for them. So we moved before anyone else did, and rather than delaying and seeing their value go up or someone else get them. We haven't bought a CB because, of the targets we identified, a deal wasn't doable during the window, so we moved on the players that we could. It's obviously not as simple as "you went for a loaf of bread, why have you come back with a pint of milk". We're gonna get there, but not in one window, and in the meantime we'll lack balance in the squad. We overcame that last season by massively exceeding expectations that anyone had for the squad. I would love for us to make CL again this season, but I think we probably just need to see top 7 as the goal rather than thinking 4th is now the baseline on which we should improve.

Apparently we've beaten all the big lads to the signing of this 16 year old kid from Birmingham. Trevan Sanusi. The appliance of science.

I was thinking before about Howe lamenting the fact that the US tour had meant there hadn't been much of an opportunity for training in pre season. I wonder if we're all seeing the consequences of that now, cos even our fitness doesn't look right - it's the opposition that's looking stronger as the game goes on, not us. Last season that was one or our biggest strengths. Might see Howe try and put his foot down next season if the ownership demands another magical mystery tour in the summer.

I sincerely hope he was.

Get in!

Arsenal about to have a penalty overturned by VAR here. VAR's love affair with Man United continues.