Gemmill

Aye it's today. We've potentially got Everton and Man United on our side but not sure about anyone else.

I'm sick of hearing and reading about how Everton's 10 point deduction is harsh (shut your shit Shearer). It's probably not harsh enough when you consider the upside of ignoring FFP. If you make it 5 points (which it may well become on appeal), everyone may as well have a go at it. They would 100% have been relegated even if you just took Richarlison out of their team during that period. With all the risks that come attached to that. Instead they cheated, stayed up, and now they won't shut up about 10 points. Far from being harsh, they've got incredibly lucky to get the 10 points now when the newly promoted teams are about as bad as you get coming up out of the Championship.

Dampen all of the strings with his fretting hand, aye. Then give it six nowt.

In which Elizabeth Perkins plays possibly the most likeable paedophile in cinematic history.

An Abu-Dhabi backed fund is about to take control of the Telegraph after agreeing a deal to repay its debts. Ooo lordy.

The tickets episode.

Watch your step.

Nobody would, baby.

Look at those CHEEKS

Imagine the state of his Portobello Bell in these days. Like a button mushroom on a bed of Golden Virginia.

Glad I kept those contemporaneous notes.

"Average Toontastic poster 'clearly bamboozled' and 'confused' about basic maths"

I miss mine, but I wouldn't miss your Cilla Black setup, chuck.

Actually, fuck that, it's the Flashing Blade!

Like a young Billy Hardy.

Don't come the raw prawn with me, "Australian" boy!

Tom that's fucking mint, what a class experience. When's the next tour?!

How do you feel this thread is working out for you, RobinRobin?

What the fuck is this, stalker boy?

Not as harsh as expected. I'm sure I've bored the fuck out of you with this before but I was on an internal flight in America not long after Love Actually came out, and the stewardesses were accusing me of being that Kris Marshall lad, and would NOT have it that I wasn't. I hadn't seen the film so I didn't know who the fuck they were talking about and in the end one of them was like "will you just sign some stuff and say you are him"

Am I gonna have to put on some remedial maths workshops.

You don't know how to feel shame? Well it's just as well after what's gone on here today.

USE TAGS GRANDPA! @Renton The amount of effort I'm putting into keeping this show on the road. Please remember the efforts you all made for my great game that I invented. Then take a bit of time to reflect. And sit in the shame like a fucking dirty nappy.

Very simple rules. Not simple enough apparently.