Gemmill

A ruddy complexion. Significant rosacea on the cheeks. A number of thick black hairs sprouting on his nose (not from in his nose, ON that fucking thing). Bald on the top of his head, but sporting the classic hair horseshoe on the back and sides. Slightly cross-eyed. Nothing outrageous, just enough to make you keep checking over your shoulder when you're talking to him. I think that'll do. I nominate: @Howmanheyman To do a hatchet job on @PaddockLad

You're all still very welcome to play that game. If you weren't such fucking neck-enders you'd be jumping at the chance to get in on the ground floor of a new cultural phenomenon. The next Wordle.

Well I for one will give it my best effort because, unlike every single other poster on here, I'm not A BIG CUNT.

I've got a load of the annuals still. My mam remains convinced they will one day be worth a fortune. I remember the Viz doing a skit of the Broons where the whole family was shitting it cos the kids reckoned the Granddad had said he was gonna have a fight. They gradually gathered everyone and hightailed it to his house, only to find he was having a shite.

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Oh well I'm SO SORRY to hear there weren't enough immigrants to pick up litter for him! Was this Michael Vaughan you were talking to?

I said "get those 9 points added", CLEARLY referring to the NINE POINT DEDUCTION that was being reported. Rishi Sunak was right about the maths DIVS in this country. Now, it's public apology time for you. And this is the end of this matter.

Hey Renton, I see you've been up to Glasgow doing your grafitti. I spotted a Mel Gibson as Braveheart holding an EU flag. Your best work.

Lads, please Google what happens if you subtract a negative number. I'LL WAIT.

OK, grim reaper.

It's a 9 point deduction. So you add it and OMG why am I having to explain this.

Not you, Tom.

Ho Ho Ho, your mam, your sister, and your lass.

Get that 9 points added now and we'll deal with the legal stuff later.

He wears a wasteman's hat.

Different class of fan at a Billy Strings gig. Spotted three blokes in dungarees and suspect there were more.

Titanfall 2 is mint. Proper fun. Not too hard but the split between playing as a Titan and as the Pilot with the wall running is class. The time travel section is pretty clever too. This is probs old, old news to you grizzled gamers but it's on Gamepass if anyone's not played it.

He's 59. He's not a baby boomer who's built wealth, and in fact he was fucking skint until he won the lottery by becoming PM. He's exactly the sort of person that will benefit from IHT changes, writing an article about how important it is that people benefit from IHT changes.

On the plus side Dave, this has got superhero origin story written all over it.

You want to go to a Toontastic "Scottish" Lads get-together. Got some CCTV footage of PL at the last one here:

I'm in Glasgow tomorrow but for Billy Strings. Little bit of fucking bluegrass for you.

Take your coat off before you start wanking. Simple fix.

I don't think public do think it's a good idea do they? I suspect we'll see some polling on it over the coming days. This lot don't care anymore - they're not doing this as a vote winner, it's just the last opportunity they'll have in a while to enrich themselves and their friends.

I'd be a bit worried if I was Man City fan given the charges against them and the fact that action has finally been taken for this shit.

Dock the cunts another 10 for the flares and fireworks.