Gemmill

I mean I like them in songs.

Lads what are all the permutations for tonight. I'm still in A&E with a perma-stiffy and there simply isn't enough blood available to power my second biggest organ.

Aye, I watched this live. How he thought that was an appropriate response to the question. Fuck me. I think he's cracking under the pressure.

Honestly I'd struggle to see how you could go wrong. One thing actually. Are you used to a really thick neck on your LP? The neck on my D'angelico was really thin. To the point where I felt like it was really easy to bend the neck accidentally when playing. I don't know if I'm just the Hulk or whether this is a genuine issue. Might be worth looking into what the neck is like just from a feel perspective though cos if it's massively different from your LP you might not like it.

Aye I listened to that from Shearer. Absolutely shite patter. He could barely move for the last couple of years of his career - not sure he'd get away with that in the current era.

Nowt, I don't think! I've had a D'angelico before and it was a nice enough guitar. They're definitely overpriced but that doesn't count here. The one I had had Seymour Duncan Seth Lover pickups which were class. Was checking to see if it has those but it's got Supro pickups - no idea what they're like and can't find a price for them. If you'd pay £150 to £200 for the pickups though (which doesn't seem like it would be too far off) you're basically getting the guitar for next to nowt.

Fajitas tonight. Have they got any Mexicans in the team I can put a food hex on?

Listen, Big Pharma. Just cos you and your SICK mates like to get together twice a year and celebrate how many people you've killed with your latest opiod invention, doesn't mean the rest of us have to.

Fair play cos I think they got howked first time around.

My only concern is that the éclair took down a French team. Maybe this needed to be a cannoli or some gabagool to turn the Italians over. All part of the testing process though. We'll know for next time.

You better fucking believe it.

The national obesity crisis has reached the avian world now too. Look at his belly hanging over the fence. Resting his head on his tits.

A&E have referred me immediately to a timber merchant.

Told them I've had a 24 hour erection and it's showing no signs of abating, so I think I need to go to A&E.

Thanks Alex for the pep talk. It's just what I needed. Ah, the relief. I might cry here.

It is done!

I know. Ugh you've planted a seed now. I'm running through my excuse rolodex. The GREAT CHRISTMAS CRY-OFF might be happening here!

Nah, a range. There's no one super young there. There's some fucking WEAPONS that I can't stand though. I just cannot wait to be walking out of it.

If you think I'm gonna walk around the room saying bye to people, you are VERY mistaken. One or two of them might get a nod as I leave if they play their cards right. Otherwise it's gonna be full on ghosting time by the party ninja.

Probably. I wish I'd cried off now, I FUCKING HATE stuff like this. The best thing that will happen today will be me walking out of this thing. I'll get a genuine adrenaline rush.

I'm already looking forward to the moment that I put my coat on and leave my Christmas do today. Starts at half 12, and I'm targeting 3:30 to 4. It'll take a herculean effort from my colleagues to keep me there any longer than that. I honestly don't think they've got it in them.

Fewer.

It's my work Christmas do today. Last time I went out with these bellends, I came home with Covid. That was only 2 or 3 month ago so I'm hoping I'm still antibodied up. Either that or it kicks in sharpish, and I just between now and Christmas off sick, but am better for Santa getting here.

Unbelievable. I thought we were marrows.