Gemmill

This is me and you CT, living La Dolce Vita. While these fucking plebs climb hills, worrying where they're gonna have their next shit. WE'RE WALKING LIKE IN LA DOLCE VITA THIS TIME WE GOT IT RIGHT

Well I assumed there was when I heard the RIDICULOUS scores they were running up to qualify for the QFs. Rubbish. That's what it is. Give me Beckham looking hot as shit any day of the week.

I don't think he hates her, I think he just thinks there's something not right, maybe too perfect about her. Whenever she comes up on his radio show he references her as Satan's representative on earth.

Katherine Jenkins Or Satan's representative on earth, as Frank Skinner calls her.

He was fucking SMOKING back in the day mind. Obviously not if you're into the rugby lads, and you prefer the gorilla in a suit look.

@Alex @PaddockLad Stick to your fucking rugby world cup, DICKHEADS! Teams still putting 70 points past one another in the last 16 ffs. REAL MEN watch the Beckham documentary

I mean look at that idiot. He's got dredds cos of course he fucking has.

You'd stay in a tent though, you dirty pig. Standing fully upright, shitting next to a tree and just pulling your pants up and walking off without wiping. It's all the same to you standers. ANIMALS!

Fuck all that noise. I look up at these things, they look great, very scenic.But I don't need to be all up in their shit. I did the loop round the lake on the boat and noted the stop that you get off at if you want to fucking exhaust yourself climbing Cat Bells. Then I went back to the main street and had a cornish pasty. I mean this is real living. You and your fucking achievement of climbing these silly hills. No thank you.

Sounds fucking ideal! Shortbread?!

Zip it, slaphead!

There was obviously a very strict agreement on how they would handle the bit about his affairs. They would talk about the press intrusion and about how difficult that period of their lives was, but there would be NO questions allowed on whether he actually got up to no good or any specifics around that. It was quite weird cos there was just this big unasked question left hanging throughout that section.

I really enjoyed the Beckham thing. Some career/life he's had, mind. They both come off pretty well in the doc though. Ferguson seems like an absolute cunt, which is no big shock. Beckham's country pile is tremendous too.

YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME!

Listen, I like to spend my time between the lake, chucking the ball in for the dog to swim about, Lake Road Brunch (marvellous Shakshuka! Great pancake stacks!) and The Round (class burger place/pub) on the main street. Oh and Booths for my fresh produce. I have an upper limit on my walks of 1.5 hours. And that, my friends, is how the upper crust holiday in Keswick!

Looks like someone else is looking to get LACED on the Keswick Market Webcam.

I would definitely consider taking this one over from my mam when they decide they're too old for it. The site rule is that you have the replace your caravan every 15 years so I'll fucking get landed with that expense, I'm sure. That plus however many thousand in site fees per year.

Statics are mint these days btw. All the mod cons. Better than the dorm room in a youth hostel that you unwashed ramblers go to.

If it does, I'd just become a pirate cos I'm adaptable. RAMBLER BOY.

BTW, the SHAME does not live with the non-rambler. The SHAME lives with the ramblers/Chris Bonnington wannabes. So SUCK ON MY NICE CLEAN WALKING BOOTS, DICKHEADS!

Married to a tekka innit. On the plus side, I'll be staying in my mother's FABULOUS static caravan, so it's zero cost.

I'm in Keswick at half term so that bridge collapsing under you would probably have left you in a better state than me kicking you up and down the length of Keswick main street. If we're trying to focus on the positives.

Well aye of course it did. I wasn't suggesting he'd done it by magic.

Fair play to Moyes btw. He's lost Declan Rice and still turned them into a better team.

It wasn't us dropping off, it was West Ham realising that you can't park the bus when you're 2-1 down.