Gemmill

Welcome on board. Lovenkrands isn't even his own mam's favourite player, but it's nice that he's that for you.

Trying to find footage of the foul to post on here, for which no red card was issued. I found something even better, sound up! Forget Cates, I've found Lineker's replacement.

Somebody else's fault AGAIN.

I'm watching Kings of Tupelo. A weird documentary series about some genuinely nutty conspiracy obsessed people which ultimately ends with Barack Obama getting sent an envelope full of ricin. But the best line in it is this fucking dope from deep Mississippi leaving a message on someone's phone about how his life is falling apart which goes "Listen, I lost my job, I lost my house, I lost hot tub, I lost my marriage." Hot tub, THEN marriage.

Says the king of research, Mr don't worry they're not suspended for the semi. Pipe down, bitch tits.

Get yourself on Instagram, do it as if you're gonna post a story, and then use the stickers. That's how I came up with my masterpiece.

"TRACTOR!"

He's got the touch and his play is divine-o, Just like your mother's, such a shame she's a wine-o. That one goes out to you all.

New Santa Tonali avatar just dropped. @Christmas Tree new mug concept idea. Call me.

And a happy hogmanay, my Scottishish friend!

Everton, home of the Ratfans, has been sold to some yank group for around £500m apparently. Firstly, fucking rip-off. Secondly, apparently Moshiri will walk away with about £25m, having put in £450m.

This fixture made me think of Alex Mathie. It says on his Wikipedia that he ended up working as a delivery manager for Royal Mail. If he had his exact same career today, he'd likely never have to work a day again once he retired.

The fact he was invited back to launder his reputation as Foreign Secretary too (to the extent that it was ever considered sullied anyway) was bullshit. Eventually though, when the dust has settled and all the emotion has been drained from the subject (through the deaths of the main protagonists), this will be taught in history/politics/economics lessons in schools as a country putting on a pair of stilettos and somehow stamping on its own bollocks. And Cameron will be remembered as the arrogant little cunt that flicked the first domino over.

Survival of the fittest Dave. I fully expect to come back tomorrow and find them both floating face down. That is not my problem.

Aye I do enjoy getting that feeling back of quickly checking the ref isn't doing anything mental once the ball's in the net, and knowing that that is a fucking goal and nothing is gonna change the fact. But it also does bring back the mistakes and the bias. Mind, saying that, that Liverpool one would likely have been bottled as a "referee's call" anyway.

I notice ChatGPT was not above just sticking an "o" on the end of every word to "make it sound Italian", the Brexit wanker.

We're serving the chorus up on a plate to these AI wankers, and they steadfastly refuse to go for the obvious hook.

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

ChatGPT has had a go. I was very specific that it should follow the framework of Dean Martin's Mambo Italiano but I don't think ChatGPT knows that one. **Sandro Italiano** *(To the tune of "Mambo Italiano")* **[Intro]** (A boy from Milan, hey!) (Sandro Italiano, whoa-oh-oh!) **[Verse 1]** Hey, Newcastle, you should see this fella! (Sandro, Sandro Italiano!) Moves so smooth, he’s a midfield bella! (Sandro, Sandro Italiano!) He’s black and white, controlling every play, He makes the Geordies sing all day, We love you, Sandro Italiano! **[Bridge]** He’s got the skills, the flair, the style-o, (Oh, Sandro Italiano!) He’s running the Toon, mile by mile-o, (Oh, Sandro Italiano!) Passin’ and tacklin’, he’s the main attraction, In the middle of the action, Sandro Italiano! **[Chorus]** Whoa-oh-oh, Sandro Italiano! Our Magpie maestro, watch him steal the show-o! Geordie hearts are singing loud wherever he goes, Whoa-oh-oh, Sandro Italiano! **[Verse 2]** Hey, St. James’, watch him light the Tyne-o, (Sandro, Sandro Italiano!) He’s got the touch, and his play’s divine-o, (Sandro, Sandro Italiano!) From Milan to the Toon, he’s made for this team, He’s living every Geordie dream, We love you, Sandro Italiano! **[Chorus]** Whoa-oh-oh, Sandro Italiano! Our Magpie maestro, watch him steal the show-o! Geordie hearts are singing loud wherever he goes, Whoa-oh-oh, Sandro Italiano! **[Outro]** (A boy from Milan, hey!) (Sandro Italiano, whoa-oh-oh!)

Have we not got a chant to the tune of Mambo Italiano about Sandro Italiano? If not, I'd like to commission CT to write two verses and a chorus.

I want the winner from tonight's game next. It's our best chance of making the final, and whoever gets through out of Arsenal or Liverpool will hopefully be fucked, still in Europe, and still focused on the title.

We're playing some really nice stuff. Starting to look like a team with a plan again.

Brentford players knocking one another over and lying on the floor with their hands in the air.