Gemmill

VAR's back and chatting shit again. Bobb offside by maybe 2 inches. A goal in any decade prior to this one.

Udogie's a full back isn't he?

Targett can't be on £100k a week surely. That dopey smile must be absolutely irresistible in a negotiation setting.

I'd have no issues with Hojbjerg on loan. Just in case anyone at the club needed my approval.

The better the player we have, the more of this is gonna go on, so people better get used to it. Good players know their worth and they make you pay for it, and they'll run the negotiations down to the wire to get what they want. The other side of this is that we'll no longer be handing ridiculous contracts to players that are doing nothing but stinking up the squad. No more pictures of some can't believe their luck no-hoper with a pen in their hand and a wtf grin on their face.

Ah fuck, sorry to hear this mate. Hope you can find something new sharpish. Absolute bullshit that a genuine skill of being multilingual has been banjaxed by technology.

As far as criminals targeting my family, it's not what any of them want to hear but I'm afraid my strict policy is that I don't negotiate with terrorists.

The thing to do is don't tell anyone and don't make any changes to your lifestyle. Stay in your job, maybe upgrade your cutlery and a couple of your power tools. But otherwise keep it entirely on the DL.

Anyone on RTG suggested they should make a play for him to replace Beale yet?

I hope they blow the title on the last day of the season. Try and see him do his farewell three pump salute to the fans in those circumstances.

Either way....

Honestly, the best thing to do is to see a financial advisor. They'll do a "financial health" type review and make sure you've got sensible life/illness insurance in place to look after your family if anything happens to you. But then they'll go through current retirement plans (hopes!) and tell you whether a) you're on track or b) you need to do x, y and z to get there. It doesn't cost you anything cos they make their money from commissions on, for example, you taking out the insurances that they recommend you to. But they'll go through and show you how your pension would kick in post retirement and what level of lifestyle it would support and for how long etc. It just means you're informed - it might be that they tell you that you're set fair and you can get whatever car you like, but at least you know. I've got a mate who does all this shit for me if you were ever interested and didnt know where to go. My advice is get all the insurances in place when you're younger and definitely BEFORE you've got a pacemaker. It doesn't matter how much I explain that my pacemaker cured my issue and I'm not at any risk, they have a box that they tick that says pacemaker and your premiums go WILD.

If he wins this tonight, the army should be promoting him to some sort of intelligence role.

Choosing a car lease payment over your pension is OK if you're in your 20s. I mean it's still wrong, but it's understandable. At your age, @Kid Dynamite, it's pension all the way I'm afraid. Join the Ford Focus club with yours truly.

I'd take it to the top of his golden escalator and let him sign out in style with a rattly luge run.

If he read this, he wouldn't be very happy with yourself.

When I worked at Virgin Money, the CEO got this weird obsession with hiring ex army people to senior positions. It was some link to a charity which placed ex forces people back into civilian jobs. Anyway, as part of this, they quite regularly had army recruitment people actually at head office, trying to recruit call centre kids to leave the bank and join the army. Weird as fuck!

BANGER! BRING IT ON IVAN!

One thing is for fucking certain. If I get called up, I'm doing patrols listening to Stan Ridgway's Camouflage on a loop. What a way to go out.

Given that they don't have enough gear for the current armed forces, I don't know how they'd propose to do this. Unless they've got us doing street patrols with a colander on our head and a fly swatter.

Right I'll get back to you in a bit. At the vet with the cat atm.

Also, does the original data have the same column headings? That bit's important. And did you say some columns contain a timestamp which you don't care about? I'll PM you.

OK so if your company has enterprise licences, you can link direct to the share point and you just press refresh in your spreadsheet and it spits out your new table. Failing that, we just shift the excel somewhere else. Is the above first screenshot an exact version of what the spreadsheet looks like? This one: And how many times does it do the test? Are your possible combos basically Pass first time, no second test Fail first time, pass second test Fail first time, fail second time And you want all of the ones that fall into category 3, and don't care about the others?

Dave. Stay focused. Where does the initial data come from? Are you copying it in from somewhere? Do you get an output from some system?

Yeah Dave, we're using power query here fo sho. It'll spit out a table with only the rows you want to see, no formulas required. Where does the initial data come from? Does that get spat out of some system as a csv? Do you have one continuous file for this or do you get a new one each day?