Gemmill

They've turned on the Bald Fraud!

All true. I fucking love it. I'm pleased we didn't sign McTominay mind. I'd take a suspended for the season Tonali over him.

That Man United forum is canny funny. The last 20 pages or so is them: - moaning about Ten Hag - moaning about Rashford - insisting that Schar should have been sent off - genuinely seeming to have a complex about officials being against Man United, which is fucking mental - being confused about who is reffing the game, and every 10 posts or so someone turns up and asks how the fuck Michael Oliver, a Newcastle fan, is reffing the game Doesn't matter how many times it's explained that he's not the ref and that Michael Salisbury is not the same person - making suggestions that we're on the juice cos of the energy and physical transformation of the likes of Joelinton and Lascelles compared to two years ago. Lads, they were managed by Steve Bruce two years ago.

Nice little tribute to Venables on MOTD. I really liked the bloke plus he gave us Euro 96 which was the most enjoyable international tournament of my lifetime.

I've worked out what Garnacho looks like. He's like when you watch a history documentary and they do a facial reconstruction of some medieval peasant bones that they've found.

The two you mention and another four from Saudi.

They're top of the PL form table last 6 games or so, which they've basically managed by winning games they had no right to through sheer muscle memory. He's going nowhere for a while yet though - you can't sack the bloke top of the form table. It's lovely.

Ten Hag moaning about fixture pile up. That was nowt to do with fixtures bonny lad. The dressing room fucking HATES you, that's your problem. Enjoy your bus trip.

These are shit enough to get beat off Chelsea on Wednesday, I reckon.

If we hadn't hit the wall at Bournemouth, and had won there instead, we'd be 2nd tonight. Tiny margins.

Thinking about it, and I reckon Ten Hag and Arteta are the only two opposition managers whose interviews I'll wait around for after we've pumped them. Proper pair of dickheads.

Is he from Yorkshire? He fucking looks like he HONKS!

MF's missus isn't gonna want you turning up with spunk breath.

The PURPLE NURPLE did it again!

I popped over to that Man United forum briefly during the match. They wanted Schar sent off for the challenge on Fernandes and were doing a LOT of moaning about VAR and the ref. But they also seemed to recognise that they're now just pure shite.

I can't remember the exact words he used but Jenas interviewed him pre game and he said something about "understanding a lot more about football since working with the manager". Professor Howe!

The ads on TNT. The kid off Stranger Things who looks like he stinks and needs a good wash is the new face of Paco Rabanne.

Aye I'm not too worried about it tbh. Dubravka is a good keeper and will get way more protection than he ever did before playing for us anyway.

Gordon seems like a really good kid. I fucking HATED him at Everton. What a difference a change of shirt can make to someone's prospects of being my mate.

Aye. They had some possession cos we were fucked, and it was nervy, but they managed 0.36xG over the 90. Give slaphead the job for life.

What a great bunch of lads, man. This isn't sustainable but it's fucking tremendous.

GET IN! SHAKE THAT BALD CUNT'S HAND, EDDIE!

9 is better than I expected. We can't sit off and defend the next 9 though.