Gemmill

Commentator was like "I'M SHOUTING THAT FULHAM HAVE SCORED! I'M GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS BUT MY HEART'S NOT IN IT! DOES IT SOUND OBVIOUS?"

The lass commentating on the Liverpool match is fucking DEVASTATED. Decordova-Reid leaping like a dwarf salmon at the far post and heading home.

Great lads, Fulham.

Looking like us and Villa coming a cropper against Bournemouth. Ever since their gaffer nicked the idol off Indie. Must have some magic juju in it.

Amnesty trying to explain to them that Eddie Howe has never beheaded anyone and that, actually, it would be better if they didn't make any banners with Beheaddie Eddie on them. Exile sitting in the corner with his arms folded, shaking his head.

They're gonna try and disallow this Fulham goal, but there's no line they can draw here that will do it for them.

Gallagher second yellow. Bringing down PL's favourite player, Billy Gilmour. You wouldn't see Sean Longstaff or Joe Willock doing that. Fulham get a second v Liverpool too. 2-2. Great lads.

State of Chelsea's pitch.

Aye I've given up watching Liverpool games in the hope of them fucking up. Villa on the other hand.... Fulham have equalised though and Liverpool have already had one disallowed...but let's not get our hopes up. We don't need to catch them this season, there'll be plenty time for that.

I'd take 2 points along with say 5,000 Sunderland fans having to be sectioned.

Villa's second disallowed after about 5 minutes. Good lads VAR.

Chelsea being good lads though. 2 up v Brighton.

Fucking Bournemouth. Let in 2 in 2 minutes.

Get in Bournemouth. My match of choice for the 2 pm slot.

(except mackems)

This will RUIN their whole Christmas and New Year worrying about this. It's EVERYTHING to them.

The one disappointing thing last night was that the game wasn't on Sky, so we couldn't have Keane and Neville post match, and maybe Micah Richard's joying the odd hand grenade in to get those two wound up. Jenas and McCoist slagged Man United off plenty but you really want it to be the other two.

We'd have been disqualified for fielding 12 players.

"Arreh McGui-oh! My man of the match is ARREH MCGUI-OH! It comes to something when your man of the match is ARREH MCGUI-OH" My lass has just popped her head in the lounge and gone "who is that?!"

Is this the "give it Giggseh" bloke? "I am fookin seethin! I'm sorreh!" I'll watch ANY shite when we beat these dickheads.

Dan Burn is now (very adequate) cover for Botman and Livramento btw. No way is Tino losing his place when Burn gets back.

You'll have to get over there, I'm spent.

Might be a joke, I'll let him off if it's a joke. But they're not big with the jokes from what I've seen so far. They leave them to their team.

They've got a separate thread for post match discussion. How am I supposed to get anything done ffs.