Gemmill

We've got the weird sounding female commentator on MOTD. I'm not saying this cos she's a lass but when there's a goal she puts on this weird commentator voice, where she sounds like a kid in a playground shouting out pretend commentary when he scores.

Three. I should know cos I've got all of his team's matches sending alerts to my phone, just in case there's some hot Maxi news I can bring to you. YOU'RE WELCOME BTW you SILLIER goose.

I'm fast forwarding through most of this MOTD cos I pathetically can't bear to watch the comebacks from these teams we're chasing. I will however watch the full highlights of Everton getting botted at home by THEE AMMUZ.

I totally get that there's 1m 56s passed between Liverpool being handed the ball back and the goal, so Forest still had a job to do blah blah. But firstly, as they point out in MOTD cos they know their Back to the Future, if Forest get the ball back, EVERYTHING that follows it changes. But secondly, what is going on psychologically with the ref there where he feels that "well I better give the ball back to Liverpool". There's a deep seated need to favour this lot. I feel like a magedia conspiracy theorist here but it's not normal the amount of help they get.

THAT'S the spirit!

This nut job is still in the HOC.

Rimmed at the match. Surprised the ref didn't stop play for a bit.

The fucking Kenny.

Howay THE KENNY! 2 nil down back to 2-2.

Ah aye he's been spouting insanity on there for a good while now. I missed all this stuff about Truss and Anderson turning up at a Tory fundraiser last night and Anderson getting a standing ovation.

🚨🚨🚨 MAXI HAS FINALLY SCORED IN SAUDI🚨🚨🚨 @LongTimeAdmirer

He's missing Gladiators.

I reckon Fanny has just seen him take his top off and spouted that cos he's not ripped.

They'll all be in the players lounge now with Gladiators on the big screen.

Murphy. Is he holding Trippier's man bag?

I believe the phrase is "daft cunt".

Ollie Watkins making his FIFTIETH Premier league start in a row, according to the commentator there. I mean just fuck off. Ah good Alan Smith on co-co-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

HOWAY THE KENNY!

Lee Hendry as a pundit on Sky looks healthier now than he ever did as a player. Looks like he's finally kicked the smack. Fair play.

We won't replace him with better but we would end up with a stronger squad. It'll be his choice if he does go. I just hope he goes abroad.

THAT'S the spirit!

Lewis Hall looking sick as a chip on the bench. Turn up to training on time, DICKHEAD. FUCK OFF LIVERPOOL.